The LAST Dollar

The LAST Dollar

Some may never see it.
And, yet, others have held it in their hand.
Deciding what to do with it
Save it?
Sow it?
Spend it on WHAT?

Some may call "buckets" of money their "last" as they grow low, while still counting on a "safe" cushion tucked away in another area.

And many others in the world,
Maybe not as many in certain areas of my country,
But certainly all over the world,
This is a reality.

There are LAST Dollars.

 


Yet there is LASTING TRUTH to stake our live on:

"I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread." (Psalm 37:25)

 

Are you a parent?
Or...step back to remember...

Would a GOOD Daddy ever not feed his child?
Forget to give him dinner?
Even if it is a simple one?
Would he give him a rock instead
of BREAD?
or a snake as a cruel substitution??
OF COURSE NOT!!

So it is with our GOOD FATHER.

                                           (Baby David in the Arms of Daddy)

The other day,
I held a last dollar, for our family, in my hand.
Honestly, these are sacred moments.
Times when the reality of Faith, and a Real Father who cares and provides, and the Words of my heart meeting up with the shelves of my pantry all meet together.
So what do you do with your last dollar??

 



We took it to prayer.

We had just packed up lunch “found’ from that pantry and sent the kids off to school.
And then, we went up stairs, closed the door to our room,
Knelt on the floor with that little dollar in our hand ,
And we prayed.
It was worship that flowed out, and Trust,
Just like how a little child could sing on her parent’s lap in the middle of a storm raging outside,
So we just Trusted, and Listened, and asked for exactly what we needed from Father.
We asked for specifics.
We asked for “sudden lies”.
We did some crying and some crying out on the hard wood floor of our room, in the soft morning light,
And we decided to stand in trustful expectancy.

Richard, headed off to minister in the Prayer Room, still with our Father.
And I remained at home, readying for the day folding clothing, last dollar in my pocket.

In this moment, God spoke inside me,
“Go spend your last dollar on Manna.”
And I thought, “That’s an odd request – I’m obeying!”
I knew exactly where He was referring, a food ministry for Missionaries, close to our Ministry work here.
And so, I invited my college daughter, got our baby in the car seat , and brought our last dollar over there.
Stepping out on a “strange little” prompting from God is always a little weird feeling.
And I just pushed through and holding out at the front desk of the food ministry my tiny offering and saying,
“This may sound odd to hear, but I need to testify. This morning God told me to spend my last dollar on Manna. And here it is. Please take it.”
As I spoke, God’s Gentle Presence just hugged me~ it was a sacred moment giving that little, last piece of currency away.
And I was so aware I was not without – THE MOMENT it left my hand.
“Oh NO! You keep it,” the kind man who leads the food ministry said, and I was just going to tell you that we have a whole BOX of produce we can give you today, and lots of bread, and dairy. Please load up bags, they are waiting for you today.
I looked down at the last dollar on the desk and pushed it back to the man.
“God’s said to give this away. Here it is.”
At that moment, and for the rest of the time I was at the building of the food ministry, as Cardboard Vegetable boxes and brown grocery bags were just loaded up to the top—so heavy that they were carried to our car by Ashley and the man at the ministry, I thought, “Man! THIS is more than I ever thought, WHAT a blessing!!!” It was a hundred times perhaps two hundred times more than my last dollar could have bought.
I drove away with a packed car and thankful tears spilling down my face.
“My cup OVER FLOWS. Thank you, Father”, I prayed
And, ‘I TRUST you to take GOOD care.”
As we arrived home, there were SO many groceries all in those parcels that it took quite a while to put everything away. And with the baby needing me, and me being called away to other tasks as well, some of the produce I did not get a chance to put away until several hours later, right before the arrival home of our school-aged kids.
Richard was popping in at that time too, and sharing about how powerful his time in ministry at the Prayer Room had been. They had seen incredible movement of God in the life they were praying for healing that day. He was leaning on the pantry, talking to me while I shared about the food ministry and the kindness of our Father God that we had found there today, and displaying all the food to him.
As I motioned to the brown paper bag, sitting on the floor near the fridge, the one FULL of ripe tomatoes, I saw something inside. It looked like an advertisement or paper or something.
I reached in to pull it out before I put the tomatoes away…
And in my hand, found,

An One Hundred Dollar Bill.
“WHAAAAaaaat???? …is this???...Oh MY!!!!”

For the second time that day, tears flowed, this time in our kitchen.
We were still wiping them away as the kids burst in the door.
“Mommy and Daddy WHY are you crying??”
And the children were the first to hear our testimony of how God ALWAYS takes PERFECT care of those who take refuge in Him. He’s a GOOD, Wonderful Dad, you see.
And we all rejoiced!!!
You know, that dancing around that children do as Dad says YES!!! Or gives a really awesome gift. “You’re awesome, Dad!!!! Thank you!!!!”

We were looking at Faith’s Hundred-Fold return---the evidence of God’s real hand of love in our family.

                                                          (Miracle Inside)

Never be afraid to pour out your last dollar in obedience and trust and love to Him.

A loving Daddy will do you NO wrong.

He just Won’t .

We know this well, for we live it. And we say, this is our testimony –our telling of His Goodness to us—but what we have YOU can have too!!

                                                 (Ava's Spontaneous Worship in a Sukkot)

Sometimes “last dollars” are trust in circumstances—jumping out into something new, or the last bit of Trust, or the last tiny bit of energy after a long season of weary, or the “last” bit of effort to love after we have been betrayed, the last try to obey when the promise seems long to come, the last portion of waiting on a heart’s desire…whatever it may be for you…You can Trust Dad. Oh yes, Our Father “who is in heaven” who has ALL the resources of heaven and earth in His hands and who is crazy- in- love- with -you…He can be MORE than Trusted. He sets up our lives to be dependent on Faith that trades in the little we have in our hand for the all in His hands and the love in His heart and the YES for us in His Spirit.

It’s an incredible trade-UP, wouldn't you say??

SO Big!

Anyone who knows me for any length of time knows my love of relationships and creativity can trump my love of cleaning. :))

 

Lately, in the midst of an urgent homestudy and all the extra appointments, papers,errands, and most especially the heart space that this is taking up in me...

as my heart is once again in two places..

  in midwestern Missouri ...yet at the same time  half-way across the world in the Marshall Islands...

set on a baby of my heart...

Who may not have had 3 meals to eat today in Momma's Tummy...

who's need for safety and rescue burns on my heart...

who's value and sweetness I am already captivated by...

 

 Well...then things like deep cleaning...well...they just ain't rolling like clockwork, let's say!!? :)))

  I literally have been asking in prayer for God to please send me some regular help here at home.

 I even used the phrase, "like a maid...but without cost". Yesterday, as I was driving home from blood draws, physicals, and TB testing at the doctor's office with half of my family, Richard called me on my cell.

"You gotta hear this, honey!" He went on to tell me we had just received an email asking if we would like to receive help for 2 hours a week from 3 student interns from our ministry base here at IHOP-KC who have adoptive hearts and want to serve our family. At the end of their note, they blessed and thanked us!

 Tears.

 It was SO,SO sweet.

 To be seen.

 For some burden to be lifted by mercy's arms.

 To watch as a SPECIFIC prayer was answered!!!!!!

So at 3pm today, 3 darling college- aged girls showed up at my door with earnest hands and delight in their eyes to serve us!! There is barely ANYTHING in all of creation more beautiful or cuter than a young woman who is full of JOY. They cheerfully asked about our family and some specific needs and then bustled about my house for 2 hours...one girl singing in the kitchen, another gentle soul volunteering with the sweetest smile to clean the bathroom of all places!!...and the other sweeping up places in the living room that I believe have not ever been reached since we moved in...even got UNDER the area rug ...while she bantered and joked with my little kids.

 To top it off they all came to me at 5pm, so pleased with their hard work and me just admiring the shine in my "world" and oooing and ahhing over them!!

 

 One girl said, "This was just like being at a friend's house and cleaning up after a good meal." 

Another said, "I feel like family here." (I was so glad, that had been my prayer for them)

 And the other said, "so just make us a list and we'll come back each week, bet you'll come up with a lot of good stuff after we leave tonight!"

I.tell.you.

This .was .love.

BIG love for this girl!!!! ♥

And if you ever wonder if people's hearts are truly alive? If Christians are "for real"?

Well, you'll know who they are...

When you see them loving BIG and WELL.

You will know them by their love.

Grace Times Five :)

Yes, this only lasted one night, until we had to separate them--but how cute are they?!


Sorry Graham, someone in the family has to bunk on the palate on the floor--it will make for a great family story someday though, right? Thanks for the sacrefice!


Not enough space for all? Jack was in heaven to get to bunk in with Mom and Dad for 4 whole nights--snuggle monster that he is!

Ashley and Anderson snuggling late one night




BRRRRR. it was COLD in Kansas City but we had packed a tub of cold stuff!! The kiddos got to have lots of snowball fights and got to do some AWESOME sledding too!!

Hello, friends!----The end of 09 and the beginning of 10---- or do you say, twenty ten? ----we have not received a clear answer on what to call this new decade!----but regardless the past few weeks have been very special in the Tucker family~~as we hope it was for you as well~~

We had another time of miracles among our family here just a few days ago. Richard and I had been led to go to Kansas City to be part of a worship/prayer/equipping conference there, called One Thing. It was put on by the International House of Prayer in KC. I just want to share an excerpt I recently wrote to a leader of that ministry...

"Recently we were prompted to head up to the One Thing conference in thankful response to all God has been doing via IHOP's ministry here. As we backed out of the driveway--packed to the gills in our Suburban with 6 of our 8 children, the check engine light went on! After a disappointing diagnostic hours later, we were told that it would take 555 dollars to fix our car. We got very quiet and before Richard and I discussed what to do next we each went to a different nook of the shop--me behind a pile of Firestone tires and Richard staring out of the advertisements on the glass front window of the Firestone store. The Lord's message to us was different than the mechanic. He spoke something else, "Go anyway" individually to each of our hearts, and , "I'm up to something big in your lives with this trip--you could miss out on it if you do not go". Next, he told Richard to lay hands on the car and then to drive 55 miles an hour up 550 miles to KC. (do you notice all the 5's?--this is God's # of grace) We obeyed--with much joy and anticipation--and had a very SCENIC trip on our slow drive up to KC. Not too long into our obedience, God turned off the check engine light--we did not see it for the remainder of the trip!
We have been living a missionary lifestyle of service and intercession here in Franklin and as we arrived in KC, we tried to purchase an item and found out that our TN bank account was completely depleted several large payments at home had hit our account early and all at once --now, at the beginning of the trip-- we only had enough for our hotel and no money to get back home.--We thanked God for a Breckfast bar at the Hampton hotel that provided what we call-"Breckfast and breckfast and breckfast" for each of our meals in KC! :) HEE!! (And for His grace on our children who did not complain once about sausage egg biscuits and muffins for dinner)! Next, as only God can do, He provided provision miracle after provision miracle,caused answers to prayers that have been prayed for 18 years, quite beautifully and right along with His timing of how He has so been on the move for our hearts and His power in our lives lately commissioned us for service as intercessionary missionaries, and spoke prophetic Word into us in the prayer room--the trip became a pilgrimage of sorts--it definitely was the trip of our lives!!"
God's miracles in our family were not just financial and protection over us physically and over our car (alot of miracles involving that car recently, huh?). The movement from the Lord that caused us great thankfulness and awe was being encountered powerfully by His loving,burning heart. Also, watching Him encounter our children. One special morning we asked for prayer from some intercessory missionaries who serve in the healing/prayer room at the International House of Prayer's Mission base--three incredibly dear people laid hands on our family and on Richard and I and then on our children as individuals--we heard MUCH encouragement and prophecy over each person in this time but most incredibly were the moments as they prayed over our little Ava. As they laid hands gently on her and quietly prayed for her the WEIGHTY presence of the Lord entered the room--I can't describe it well-- but we strongly experienced the presence of the Lord--it was peace and overwhelm at once. Ava's little body began shaking under the presence of the Lord--His Spirit was manifesting His glory on our little girl!!--this was happening while prophecy about her journey before the Lord, her giftings and callings were being prayed over her and pulled forth out of her as well --those minutes of prayer could have been days or years for we got lost in the Joy of His presence...as He danced openly over our little songbird
--we were all overcome with the JOY of the Lord and laughter bubbled up as well as many tears--it was an utterly beautiful experience among MANY others over the course of our trip and related to His movement in our family lately--We had seen other adults come under the influence of the Holy Spirit but to watch Him awaken our little girl was a blessing beyond measure. She is so pure before Him that her open heart was easy and accessible for Him to pour into--I want Ava to be my model before the Lord--to be so childlike and simple and receiving before Him that He can mightily move in and through my frame--to pour in at Will whenever He so desires. And this is how I will be pushing in to His presence in this new year. God is REAL--His Spirit walks among us and wants to encounter us--just as He did in the past in the OT. and more--just like He did through the apostles and in Acts--He's as fresh and willing to move in us and through us and with us in power today as in any other time in history--time and time again this week we realized and experience His love among us. Among wonderful praise, encountering prayer, we also witnessed college age students, 20,000 of them reaching toward the pursuit of God. They were precious "kids"--full of the Spirit of Christ--engaging others, bibles were out instead of blackberries--there was hardly a text message in sight--a generation unplugged from the world's draw and charged up with the love for Christ and taking that love in vast acts of justice to His world. We did not hear a cross word among this large crowd for 4 days and joyed in overhearing young people's conversations in which they spoke of WHO they wanted to be in God (first commandment) and how that fueled their love for His Word and His world. We witnessed people taking off their glasses and taking off their casts to reveal healed arms, several crooked backs were made straight and several legs even GREW several inches to even out bodies--Christ loves to make us whole--that's why He went to the cross for us--and His power from the cross's payment for us was so powerfully moving among a receiving worshiping people WOW...I believe this is what Christ's body should appropriately look like and how it should operate. And I will be encouraging His body to take place before Him in these ways in the upcoming seasons of my life--you included, with much tenderness and love to you, my bloggy friends!!
Stay tuned for other movement of our family in Him and please keep us and calling in Him in your prayers.
Blessings in these first days of 2010!
Love, Gillian

Its Just a Matter of Time...Tucker Car Need :)

We are blogging to give you front seats to a miracle! I have just received a phone call from Richard saying that our Suburban just "died" in Mount Eagle, TN on the way back from going to a family wedding in Atlanta. This is hitting me with such joy--yes, I said joy!! A year ago both of our cars died at the same time and we had none for a week until God stepped in and provided for 2 cars for our family. He's about to provide again!! I can't wait to see what He's up to.

Being a missionary-type family these days we are finding out OVER and OVER how God brings in what we need RIGHT ON TIME. Just this week He has already shown up at our home with a car load and 2 laundry baskets full of food on the very day we wondered how we would fill our pantry this month--then He showered on more suprise blessings on Richard in Atlanta, SURELY this car situation is not a problem that is beyond His incredible scope!! He is aware and loves the fact that we now need to lean on Him for our transportation needs as well.

We already have been stretching it --not fitting into our mini van and even the Suburban with the 8 kids now and have been praying for God to provide a 12-15 passenger van for our famiy--perhaps this is not lack we are experiencing but a movement of grace to receive more of what we need.

I'm writing now because this takes a measure of Faith in Him to declare that I truly believe He is loving us largly in this moment and that He has this all under control--we are not alarmed or depressed--He has taken too good of care of us in the past for that type of anxiety--I do believe that we will have a miracle report to share with you all this week--whether that is that He provides for the Suburban to be fixed or provides another vehicle. Please pray for us as we wait on God to provide for us. He loves us just as much now with one car for 10 people as He did when we had 2 cars--He's a loving provider.

If God may be prompting you as you read this to be hands that He uses to provide a vehicle or funding towards it, please contact Richard at tuckerrichard@comcast.net or 615-545-2265.

We believe the Bible when it says, "Call unto me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things that you do not know of yet."

And as God is so GOOD to do, He is strongly pressing this song on my heart and lips right now--please receive it as a gift from my full heart today.

Love, Gillian




Like a rushing river am I
Like a raging torrent inside
I find that I'm full of knowing nothing
I find that I hunger for the fullness of Christ

Like a rushing river am I
Like a raging torrent inside
I find that I"m free-falling again
I'm letting go of the mountain view
Letting go, but what into?

Like a rushing river am I
Like a raging torrent inside
I find that I'm full of knowing nothing
I find that I'm hungry for the fullness of Christ

Like a rushing river am I
Like a raging torrent inside
I find that I"m free-falling again
I'm letting go of the mountain view
Letting go, but what into?

I've been crucified with Christ
I've been crucified with Christ
I've been crucified with Christ
Yet not I, but one thing I know

You make all things beautiful
You make all things beautiful
You make all things beautiful
Just in time
Just in time

You make all things beautiful
You make all things beautiful
You make all things beautiful
Just in time
It's just a matter of time, time
It's just a matter of time

So into Your hands
Into Your hands I fall
Into Your hands
Into Your hands I fall
Into Your hands
So into Your hands I fall

For You make all things beautiful
You make all things beautiful
You make all things beautiful
Just in time
It's just a matter of time, time, time
It's just a matter of time, time, time

On You I wait
On You I wait
On You I wait
All of my days

And on You I wait
On You I wait always
On You I wait
All of my days
All of my days

No one who waits on You will ever be ashamed
No one who waits will ever be disappointed
It's just a matter of time
It's just a matter of time

So calm down, my soul
Calm down and know
So calm down, my soul
Calm down and know

His yoke is easy
His burden is light
It simply costs everything
But it's not too mysterious
It's not for the wise in their own eyes
It's not for the mighty of the rich
But He has saved Himself for me
But He has saved Himself for me

So calm down, my soul
Just calm down and know
Just calm down, my soul
Just calm down and know

No one who waits on the Lord will ever be ashamed
For wisdom will be justified
In just a matter of time, time, time
It's just a matter of time, time, time

And You make all things beautiful
You make all things beautiful
You make all things beautiful
Just in time
It's just a matter of time
It's just a matter of time

Calm down, my soul
Be quiet within me
And put your trust in God
From where your help comes from
From where your help comes from
Just calm down, my soul, and wait
It's just a matter of time
It's just a matter of time

His Bundle on my Back--From my Ethiopian Journal

"He takes care of his flock like a shepherd.
He gathers the lambs in his arms.
He carries them close to his heart.
He gently leads those that have little ones. " (Isaiah 40:11)

African women carry their babies within long fabric pieces on their back. Like these children, as a child of God, since I was five, I have been securely wrapped up within the love of incredible Father God. First He saved me and simply asked me to love Him and to love others. To walk out my life as He did. He named this love, "adoption", as He wrapped me close to His heart. In time and by degree, He lovingly secured a bundle to my back as well. It is so much smaller but looks like the one my Father carries. I love to walk through His world with Him. Within this bundle He has placed Adoption , Rescue, Care for the Orphan--the desire to give place to the lonely--to set them in families--love for His hurting world. This, He has lovingly has wrapped to my back since I was a tiny girl. He has so much more to fit into my bundle. I gaze in there and marvel and wonder at its beauty -- the honor of carrying a likeness to my Father. Other times it has been very heavy to carry. But then, the gold of His Kingdom can be weighty.

I hope you can see her. She is my heart for adoption, for adoption in Ethiopia. A beautiful African woman stands with dignity under a brilliant, cobalt sky. She is dressed in humble garments and is wrapped in a long piece of colorful fabric. With skillful ease, she bends over gracefully to take the ends of the fabric. Seamlessly, she wraps the fabric over a baby on her back or front until the baby has the cosiest of perches to view the market before them. They walk down dusty streets, past baskets of food on blankets, among begging people with gentle eyes and past the man with withered polio legs dragging his torso to the injera stall (Ethiopian bread). Her baby blinks at the sun and is covered with a light shawl. She jostles to sleep, secured on her Mother's back. On they go through the aroma of Ethiopian "Boona"--the most delicious coffee you could ever imagine, around a young goatherd, coaxing his goats through the crowded, bustling market streets. Lilting music plays out of shanty-type one-room buildings covered in tin roofs lining the street, making up the market's stalls --this is the the vast "Merkato".

Her beauty belies the secret of her heart, greyer than the afternoon storm clouds that sweep across Addis Ababa each day at this time. The German medical lab has given her grave news. She is not the first of her family to receive such news--in fact she has watched all of her family members perish after similar reports. Some lived several years--others just weeks. Their arms--asleep in quiet graves--unable to help her. Unable to come to her aid. And no arms to receive her precious Rekeb. Rekeb, full of life and energy with the cry so loud and lively her Mama's name's meaning fits her well, "one who cries out". In different times there were many loving arms to soothe Rekeb's cries. She would have been passed around to bring Joy to every heart. In this land, there is no original word for "orphan" for children are the treasure of their family circles. Rekeb stirs in her cosy sleep, soon she will want to nurse. Who will feed her? Who will hold her? Will she live? Oh, God, help her, see my child. Let her live...
The mother reaches her destination, the outer wall of the local Orthodox church. She can hear the sound of singing. The daily services must not yet be over. She has heard this is a good place. Surely they will hear her. Will they? Or will the wild dogs who run the streets find her first? She shivers. She unwraps her incredible bundle and ...we do not watch the most private and excruciating of moments between a loving mother and child.

With the greatest of care she finds a gap under the wall and makes a bed of colorful fabric for her little one. Rekeb. Will she live? She stays, until Rekab's cries draw a crowd of street children. They pick her up. One older girl wraps her on her back ,in the colorful fabric. They speak of an orphanage not far away. A good place. She will live...

Across the world, my bundle comes to life! It is full, pregnant with a referral of two babies!! I sense the loving arms that brought these children to my Father even as I see their photos on my computer screen for the first moment and I love them even as love swells for these precious babies. Big brown eyes stare sadly at me from the first photo I open. It is a little boy, he is 2 years old. His parents are deceased. As we have nested we did what many parents do and have looked at Ethiopian name lists. We decided quickly and firmly months back upon the name, Bruik, meaning, "gift of God." I wrestle my eyes off of his photo to glean my first bit of information of my new son. And as I scroll down, I gasp and cry,shout and jump up and down--in Joy-- African woman-style!! His name, before me on the screen is...Bruik. Oh, my little son. Placed "on my back" and in my heart since I was a little girl...
The next image is a tiny little baby girl. Her velvet brown legs and arms are so thin they make me ache--with a mother's longing to tend and to nurture. Her cheeks are so kissable -- I can't stand it. Little...Rekab. Captivator of my heart---so dear to another that she was brought to my arms... I stumble around for weeks--dizzy with love and the closeness of the Father--soaring, sometimes staggering under the glory's weight.
Soon we are on a plane, watching a tiny electric airplane model on a map on the screen fly increasingly quickly away from my land. My daily world shrinks away...I turn toward the land of my new children.

There is no sleep for me, I toss in our hotel bed--tomorrow--we'll meet them tomorrow!! It is like the night before I was married--full of mystery, hope, and elation. My mind jumping to the future and savouring the present all at once.
I rearrange baby bibs and formula and tiny outfits and shoes. I pray and thank my Father. I lay out my" bundle" before me and tenderly consider it. Excited to further fill it tomorrow as we love on the orphans we meet and greet our babies for the first time.

On the following day we pile into a bright blue and white van and bump through the streets. We pull up to a walled orphanage and my stomach leaps, "Kids Care Orphanage" says the painted metal gate.

Bruik awaits us, dressed in a crisp oxford shirt and little blue sweat pants. We gently touch and hug. He smiles brightly and jumps into His Daddy's arms. Richard swings him up onto 6 foot 5 shoulders and Bruik looks triumphantly down at his new family.

Rekeb is waiting for us in a walker in the baby room. Her nannies say to me with laughing eyes, "you must pick out your baby now". Oh, no! I know the baby girl which I believe is mine...but she is the loveliest of all the babies in their white metal cribs--what if I am wrong and she is another? The joke is on me--I have hesitated too long. A nanny reaches down to the beautiful baby in the walker and secures her in my arms. I breathe her in. We sway to the musical sound of children's voices and Amharic speech. A first dance...

We drive away from the chorus of children but they remain still in our "bundles". How God presses them on our hearts.

We rename our Rekeb, Ava Aday, meaning, "breath of life, precious flower." She will live. Our Father.our Savior, has promised "life abundant" for her. And as we carry our children close to our hearts and walk through their lovely people, taking in their beautiful land,filled with pain, awe, and joy, we sense our Father, securing our bundles, walking beside us, sharing His heart with us...

Love, Gillian

Scrub-a -Dub, Dub, Our 6 Kids in a Tub

Anderson's prayer (our 2nd grader) at the breckfast table this morning with the littles (our 3,4,and 5 year olds):

"O.K.QUIET!!(He hollors)" "Let's pray...(everybody, CLOSE YOUR EYES!!), Dear God, really you are Mighty!! We thank you this morning that we are alive and that you brought Daddy, Mommy, and Graham safely home to us. Thank you for not letting the Bridgestone building fall down when Daddy was in it and the tornado got so close to it. You only let the sign blow down--and some bricks--on some cars. You made RUSHING winds last night,RAINS, and STORMS and TORNADOS! You are SO powerful, God. And you gave us T.V. warnings to keep us safe. And we were hiding,in our safe place, but you were strong and you knew where we were. You even kept us from getting slashed with glass (the biggest fear of Anderson's day yesterday). Thank you also for the Cheerios we got to eat in the bathtub and that Annie (our dog) was safe. But most of all, God, thank you because I really like the bathtub so I can snuggle up with my family in it."

In the midst of a scary storm, so many things to smile about--one announcement said that most injuries from tornados are caused by head injury--so someone suggested we all wear our bike helmets :)--this was AFTER the storm warning was over--ever try slurpping up spagetti through the straps of a bike helmet? HEE! They were so funny with their big ole heads all around the table last night. And aren't they silly in the tub photo above--snuggled in the nest in the midst of a terrible storm... I love being God's child.

Love,Gillian

The Bread Lady

Women Making Injera Bread in Ethiopia


O.K., y'all, my children have asked me several times since entering "blog land", "Have you told them about the bread lady?" Well...(smile), let me tell you...the "bread lady" is a very special person around here. Funny though...we have never seen her! Just huge bags of bread in black Glad bags that arrive at our door..a new game of Easter bunny or Tooth Fairy but just really odd over at the Tuckers' house? No, let me rewind a bit...

Love costs. It can be expensive. That's a distubing thought isn't it? But its true. Of course the most amazing cost has been spent on the cross for our buying back for an eternal relationship with God. Yet, even in our lives, love can be costly. And it should be as we are to be living mirrors of God on the Earth--living out before the world what Christ looks like, what He stands for. And, I'm not talking about jewlery or cards or presents here --I'm thinking of the redemption costs that God places before us, here, on this Earth. Many examples come to mind--the patience that we must "save up" to bear with daily interactions with our sandpaper relationships--you know, the "gratey" ones that really rub us the wrong way--its costly to bite our tongue or perhaps to become "bankrupt" popularity-wise for living out our lives in a way that is set apart (holy) for God. There's also the cost of keeping an open heart and hand outstreched to the things of God--it may just break your heart even as it expands it. I will never forget the day I announced to my mentor for adoption that we were adopting--I was glowing --on cloud nine with dreams dancing in my heart and most likely in my eyes. She hugged me and then said, "Gillian, once you go forward with this, you can never go back again. Once you look 'under the rock' your heart will never be the same again. It will slay your heart. Get ready to be changed forever. It will be one of the best and the hardest rides of your life." Costly. Yet what is the price of a life? Sometimes we joke with people who come us to us in stores and ask in a light, joking way "how much to take this one home with me?" and we have always grinned and replied, "oh, you don't have enough!!this one's priceless!!" Adoption is one example of --the purchase of a redemption price to save -- quite literally-- a life. Though I have heard of other redemption costs, such as those that are going to dig fresh water wells to bring living water to people or those who bring justice to children trapped in slavery, or those who give every Saturday night to read to thier friend in the nursing home down the street, this cost, the one for Adoption and for the saving of two lives, two names -- two little sets of hands in mine, this recently has been our specific call. And it has been worth every hour of completing ALL the paperwork to complete the dossier. It was worth every tear and every torn place in my Mother's heart. It was worth the dusty, incredible trip -- high altitude sickness, 5 children with Hepetitis A, 3 sets of poopie diapers for (forever! it seemed),rearraging our schedule--no, lets say, demolishing it!, stretching my waistline (stress can do that to me),the angst and concern first over skinny under weight babies we could not get to until travel date and now an ache that will never go away for thier precious families--is the birth mother who has Hep. C still alive?--I hold her heart in my arms I'm sure,the probing and searing looks and comments, the loss of place/identity, to a degree in a culture (my own) in which I once flowed around so easily within--being the big, racially mixed bunch really gets you over your fear of being stared at!! to think I once was shy!!:)

But the cost--it is worth it. Let me shout that, "IT IS WORTH IT !!" For we know, inherently so, for what has high value can bring high cost. And what God's heart is after is what is of highest value. I'll count the cost as being so "worth" it!!

I'm going to be spending alot of time in the blog being thankful for the amazing blessing of adoption--showing the incredible value of it. But to display my heart with honesty--the cost needs to be shown a bit --its o.k.--its just part of the story of redemption. And my Father, God loves redemption. And, after all, I'm not "spending" my resources at all--they all come from my Father--that's where this really get good. Poopie diapers? He gives me patience--when I allow Him too.-- Sickness? Over and over He is showing us His willingness and delight to heal our bodies.-- Wisdom to raise 6 kiddos? Well, that's James 1--He gives us wisdom generously if we ask, believing...and the money? the redemption price we had to gather together to save two lives from a desparate situation--it came from Him--it was miraculous and it still is. We are wowed EVERY day by His provision.--and that's where the bread lady comes in!... :)

You can look up how much it costs to adopt two children internationally--lets just say--its alot. Its alot for those who are not already taking care of a brood of kids on one income in an expensive school district. And yet, as each round of checks came, God provided for the liquid funding for each set. You know those finacial systems that speak of having "cushions" financially? ...well, we never "sat" on cushie cushions but now I know we are sitting on a pretty firm "bench". HA! Add the current financial state of the country to adopting 2 children, raising 6, and moving all in the past 18 months and we are in great need of God to really "show up" and "show off" on a daily basis. And, we are loving it! Yes, that wasn't a typo. It is so awesome to live each day really getting "give me this day my daily bread". Ah, bread!! so tell me about the bread lady, Gill!

(I share this with permission and prompting from my sweet Richard).
This Fall was an especially challenging time for us finacially for all the reasons mentioned above. We became completely drained due to the cost of our adoption plus a move last spring. We were experiencing shortages that were the type that make a Mother's pulse race--yet we stood on the fact that God promises to take care of His own.--there was this one period that was incredibly tight--at one point there was just nothing left--and there wasn't going to be anything coming in for days. We prayed. We prayed simply with the kids. Richard went and laid hands (literally) on an ATM machine for gas money. God made just what he needed come out that day, no more, no less --Manna. We thanked and jumped around with the kids. "Man! I wonder how God's going to take care of us next!!" Anderson shouted. Jack wanted to go back to the bank to watch the miracle machine spit some more money out! Within the next few days first Richard ran into a deer with our Suburban--smashing in its nose and putting it out of comission. We walked to school--it was fun--an adventure we shared praises and swang hands and had a little more time to connect in the morning--and we prayed and trusted that our Father was taking care of us. We experimented with all sorts of bean soups, baked bread, picked apples from Kathleen's tree--alot! Ate LOTS of applesauce :). God extended the harvest of our little garden and we thanked Him around the table. And we sang. Then a few days later, our green, wonderful free car from Richard's family lived out its final moments --as Richard backed out of the driveway for work, plumes of smoke and weird noises came out of the engine--it was
dead". But our faith wasn't. Its in moments like these that Faith's really real--its a gift from God and really is there right as we need it. We asked God for a car. And even asked for a VERY low price for it and waited. He gave it! Within a week, one of my dearest friends, Eliana,you'd just love her--she walks with Jesus so simply but winsomely-- was driving us to school, as we sat in the car I laugh, sighed over our cars and she asked, "what about this one?" "what would you like for it?" in faith I mentioned our VERY low idea for a price and within a few days the car was in our driveway -- a gift from God. We all gathered inside it to praise God and thank Him for taking care of us. You could cut the Joy with a knife and serve it on a plate with some ice cream for dessert!! It was wonderful--it was how God takes care of His people. Provision continued, different faces, different stories but daily during that time. Friends dropping by with coolers full of food --a friend had just defrosted a freezer for moving and our freezer was stuffed with its contents--we praised--we thanked --and we ate WELL--fun, really yum food. My friend, Eliana "just" popped by to make and share her excellent cooking several times. And when the pantry got low another week we were invited to spur of the moment dinners--who "just" invites 8 people over?--thanks God! and other such happenings but what we loved most was the bread lady.

Early in this time, my precious friend, Laura dropped by my house one night. I just love her! "Does your family eat bread?" YES!! And boy do we love it even more now!! "Well, there's this lady..."she said, "we call her the bread lady. We don't really know her well. She showed up at a yard sale we were having a couple weeks back with a trunk full of bread. She has some deal with Publix where they give her thier day old bread (its very fresh bread)" And you know I said, sure! we'd LOVE some!! "Well, you better go get the kids to bring it in." she told me. What? and then she opened the back of her mini van (my stomach just lept mentioning this)--inside were bags and bags--we are talkin' grocery bags--maybe 5? just filled with bread. We lugged them all inside. Just overcome. Manna does fall in Williamson County --just sometimes in the form of Pepperidge Farms Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Bread and Country Oatmeal with extra fiber and Poppy Seed Multi-Grain Bagels and Italien Bake and Eat Deluxe Loaf--oh my!! It wasn't just any ole bread--it was the best!! So we had the most fun pulling out all those loaves and sorting them in lines of like items--like a little bread store. Everyone exclaiming--OHHHH--I love this kind! and hand me some more of that one! look here's some MORE!! We stuffed our freezer--we put loaves in the pantry and loaves in the garage (it was wintery in there). We made plans for bagel pizzas and french toast and pannini sandwhiches...and lots of pb and j!! But we STILL had loads--I mean grocery bags worth left over. Thinking of how God instructed the Israelites to not hoard up the blessing of food that He gave them in the wilderness journey, I knew we would neither hoard the blessing or waste it either. So all loaded up our red wagon and handed out bread to the neighbors, and to our friends, and to contract workers in the neighborhood, and to some roofers who softened thier rough exteriors as they saw that wagon full of bread rolling up (the next morning)...You can imagine how we hit our knees that night in thanks and praise to God!! a shower of provision -- so much that we were able to pour it out all over others as well--we became bread distributors--crazy ,wonderful!! and the bread kept being brought by for weeks and weeks. Varying amounts--ALWAYS at the right time and just what and more than we needed. The children are completely in awe of God's hand. What He has allowed us to walk through--the cost, the wait on Him, the awesome provision it ALL is meaningful and fits together to create a faith that is unshakable no matter what the times are around us. We are standing on His provision. Its just there. Believe it. Fall on it. He's right here. He REALLY is. Ask, expect Him to show up on time and take care of you. Man! Showers of bread?!! He really is an awesome Father.

"Rejoice in the Lord,O you righteous! Praise benefits the upright....Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him. on those who hope in His steadfast love, that He may deliver their soul from death, and keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and shield. Yea, our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His holy name. Let thy steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in thee."

Grace in a Puddle

There are No "Refi"s in a Magnolia Tree.

"Refi"s ? Crisis? Anxious Times?

I think the birds building a nest in my Magnolia tree may have a unique opinion to share --or tweet? sing? about this whole "issue"...

A home to live in that shelters them

A puddle to bathe in.--and they were completely adorable flapping and splashing with abandon in there today by the way. Practical, convenient, entertaining provision!!

A blue sky to fly in...

Too tongue and cheek to compare our worries and troubles with birds?

Jesus didn't think so.

He said to look to those birds, to slow down and even stop to listen to thier beautiful voices--and even-- to look at those dandelions in your bright spring grass --or in our puddle pictured here-- with simple awe and belief. If our Father takes such great care of them and clothes them and cares for the places they live--notices each one and ensures all the details for care and full life for them...won't He do the same for you?

Look up, look down, look around this Spring--evidence of His provision and love is singing and growing all around you.


"See the birds of heaven; they do not put seeds in the earth, they do not get in grain, or put it in store-houses; and your Father in heaven gives them food. Are you not of much more value than they?" (Matthew 6:26)

"And why are you troubled about clothing? See the flowers of the field, how they come up; they do no work, they make no thread." (Matthew 6:28)

"Aren't two sparrows sold for a penny? Not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's permission." Mark (10:29)


Yep, the same provision that's in my Magnolia tree is in any of our lives in Him. I hope my response to the Father's care will be
bird-like
simply trusting
joyfully abandoned
singing praises in the puddle of Grace...


Love, Gillian