The LAST Dollar

The LAST Dollar

Some may never see it.
And, yet, others have held it in their hand.
Deciding what to do with it
Save it?
Sow it?
Spend it on WHAT?

Some may call "buckets" of money their "last" as they grow low, while still counting on a "safe" cushion tucked away in another area.

And many others in the world,
Maybe not as many in certain areas of my country,
But certainly all over the world,
This is a reality.

There are LAST Dollars.

 


Yet there is LASTING TRUTH to stake our live on:

"I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread." (Psalm 37:25)

 

Are you a parent?
Or...step back to remember...

Would a GOOD Daddy ever not feed his child?
Forget to give him dinner?
Even if it is a simple one?
Would he give him a rock instead
of BREAD?
or a snake as a cruel substitution??
OF COURSE NOT!!

So it is with our GOOD FATHER.

                                           (Baby David in the Arms of Daddy)

The other day,
I held a last dollar, for our family, in my hand.
Honestly, these are sacred moments.
Times when the reality of Faith, and a Real Father who cares and provides, and the Words of my heart meeting up with the shelves of my pantry all meet together.
So what do you do with your last dollar??

 



We took it to prayer.

We had just packed up lunch “found’ from that pantry and sent the kids off to school.
And then, we went up stairs, closed the door to our room,
Knelt on the floor with that little dollar in our hand ,
And we prayed.
It was worship that flowed out, and Trust,
Just like how a little child could sing on her parent’s lap in the middle of a storm raging outside,
So we just Trusted, and Listened, and asked for exactly what we needed from Father.
We asked for specifics.
We asked for “sudden lies”.
We did some crying and some crying out on the hard wood floor of our room, in the soft morning light,
And we decided to stand in trustful expectancy.

Richard, headed off to minister in the Prayer Room, still with our Father.
And I remained at home, readying for the day folding clothing, last dollar in my pocket.

In this moment, God spoke inside me,
“Go spend your last dollar on Manna.”
And I thought, “That’s an odd request – I’m obeying!”
I knew exactly where He was referring, a food ministry for Missionaries, close to our Ministry work here.
And so, I invited my college daughter, got our baby in the car seat , and brought our last dollar over there.
Stepping out on a “strange little” prompting from God is always a little weird feeling.
And I just pushed through and holding out at the front desk of the food ministry my tiny offering and saying,
“This may sound odd to hear, but I need to testify. This morning God told me to spend my last dollar on Manna. And here it is. Please take it.”
As I spoke, God’s Gentle Presence just hugged me~ it was a sacred moment giving that little, last piece of currency away.
And I was so aware I was not without – THE MOMENT it left my hand.
“Oh NO! You keep it,” the kind man who leads the food ministry said, and I was just going to tell you that we have a whole BOX of produce we can give you today, and lots of bread, and dairy. Please load up bags, they are waiting for you today.
I looked down at the last dollar on the desk and pushed it back to the man.
“God’s said to give this away. Here it is.”
At that moment, and for the rest of the time I was at the building of the food ministry, as Cardboard Vegetable boxes and brown grocery bags were just loaded up to the top—so heavy that they were carried to our car by Ashley and the man at the ministry, I thought, “Man! THIS is more than I ever thought, WHAT a blessing!!!” It was a hundred times perhaps two hundred times more than my last dollar could have bought.
I drove away with a packed car and thankful tears spilling down my face.
“My cup OVER FLOWS. Thank you, Father”, I prayed
And, ‘I TRUST you to take GOOD care.”
As we arrived home, there were SO many groceries all in those parcels that it took quite a while to put everything away. And with the baby needing me, and me being called away to other tasks as well, some of the produce I did not get a chance to put away until several hours later, right before the arrival home of our school-aged kids.
Richard was popping in at that time too, and sharing about how powerful his time in ministry at the Prayer Room had been. They had seen incredible movement of God in the life they were praying for healing that day. He was leaning on the pantry, talking to me while I shared about the food ministry and the kindness of our Father God that we had found there today, and displaying all the food to him.
As I motioned to the brown paper bag, sitting on the floor near the fridge, the one FULL of ripe tomatoes, I saw something inside. It looked like an advertisement or paper or something.
I reached in to pull it out before I put the tomatoes away…
And in my hand, found,

An One Hundred Dollar Bill.
“WHAAAAaaaat???? …is this???...Oh MY!!!!”

For the second time that day, tears flowed, this time in our kitchen.
We were still wiping them away as the kids burst in the door.
“Mommy and Daddy WHY are you crying??”
And the children were the first to hear our testimony of how God ALWAYS takes PERFECT care of those who take refuge in Him. He’s a GOOD, Wonderful Dad, you see.
And we all rejoiced!!!
You know, that dancing around that children do as Dad says YES!!! Or gives a really awesome gift. “You’re awesome, Dad!!!! Thank you!!!!”

We were looking at Faith’s Hundred-Fold return---the evidence of God’s real hand of love in our family.

                                                          (Miracle Inside)

Never be afraid to pour out your last dollar in obedience and trust and love to Him.

A loving Daddy will do you NO wrong.

He just Won’t .

We know this well, for we live it. And we say, this is our testimony –our telling of His Goodness to us—but what we have YOU can have too!!

                                                 (Ava's Spontaneous Worship in a Sukkot)

Sometimes “last dollars” are trust in circumstances—jumping out into something new, or the last bit of Trust, or the last tiny bit of energy after a long season of weary, or the “last” bit of effort to love after we have been betrayed, the last try to obey when the promise seems long to come, the last portion of waiting on a heart’s desire…whatever it may be for you…You can Trust Dad. Oh yes, Our Father “who is in heaven” who has ALL the resources of heaven and earth in His hands and who is crazy- in- love- with -you…He can be MORE than Trusted. He sets up our lives to be dependent on Faith that trades in the little we have in our hand for the all in His hands and the love in His heart and the YES for us in His Spirit.

It’s an incredible trade-UP, wouldn't you say??

" 'An He Came to Me"

WHY PRAY?

A true story from our week...

Yesterday we were driving to soccer practice for our two six year old "twins", Jack and Bruik when 4 year old Ava told us this...

"Mommy, it was dark last night and I was crying in my room."

You were crying? Oh, Ava I'm sorry. Why didn't you come and get me?

"I did somethin else Mommy. I got outa my bed and I got on my knees on the floor and I cried out to God.
An I got back in bed.
An I was still crying.

An Jesus came to my room.

He came to me.
An He said, 'Ava, why are you crying?'

An He had yellow on Him.

An He held my hand and we went into your room to check on you.
An Jesus was very bright."


Praises today to the God who sees us, hears our cries, and who comes to us!!


Psalm 34a

I will extol the Lord at all times;

his praise will always be on my lips.

My soul will boast in the Lord;

let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me;

let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;

he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;

their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;

he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,

and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good;

blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his saints,

for those who fear him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry,

but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Come, my children, listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Whoever of you loves life

and desires to see many good days,

keep your tongue from evil

and your lips from speaking lies.

Turn from evil and do good;

seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous

and his ears are attentive to their cry;

the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,

to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;

he delivers them from all their troubles.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles,

but the Lord delivers him from them all;

he protects all his bones,

not one of them will be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked;

the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

The Lord redeems his servants;

no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Blessings,

Gillian

Whoa!! Stepping out into the ravine? Tucker journey update...

Did you know that when Abraham was called by God out of his family's land, he ended up traveling 1,200 miles ON FOOT to the promised land???

And then...
This "father of nations" spent the rest of his days living in tents--never again did he live over a solid foundation of a home.


That makes 550 miles to Kansas City in a large U-Haul truck and a loaded -down Suburban sound REALLY "cushie" :).

It actually makes our consideration-- in a family meeting the other night with Ashley and Graham-- (due to financial reasons) of fitting our family into a 2 bedroom apartment for the next season sound pretty good too!--But you can stop holding your breath--the apartment management companies would not allow our number of people due to fire codes!! Bummer!! :) That was pretty wild to figure out until we were told no. And, life away from stuff to fuss with seemed rather freeing for a moment too!!

SOoooo the question of late has been somewhat like, "When God has called you to something quite incredible-- when you have heard His voice and KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW that He is saying, GO!!!!--How 'low' can you go?--How little could you live with or on? or what is so precious to you that you could not live without it or leave it behind?"

This is a VERY easy question for me to answer when we are talking about OTHER people's things. It was exceedingly easy in our family meeting as Graham was instructed that Bella the Python was a pocession that was not right for life in smaller digs!!--or at least sharing bedroom space with my babies or me! :)!!!

Simple, huh?

But when I saw the look in Graham's eye...

...and then, I "got" the same feeling the next day, as I began to fit our pocessions into a space that will be a fourth to a third the size of what we are used to now...

How are you doing packing away YOUR pretties, Gillian?

--I must say--my heart was deceptive,fleshy, and tantrumy--

It was not a pretty site--

Mommy clutching onto my clipboard with cartoon electricity coming out of my hair and dying to that Martha side (I'm refering to the one on T.V. --Ms. Stewart-- not the Biblical one--or maybe there is a sad comparison here!!for my HEART and SPIRIT DO call out to be a 'Mary'--NOT a Martha!!)

Until...

"Gillian, who do you say that I am?"
"Gillian, do you Trust me?"

God pressed on my heart yet again ...and all the fullness of Himself flooded my heart...I had to confess my ugly attitude to my kiddos and with our circumstances and kneel in the middle of our boxes and again make my testimony, "Here I am, God...I love you...I adore you...YOU are my life...send me into the center of your will...not only WHEREever it is but WHATever it is!! ....WHAT a journey we are about to embark on!! Bring on the packing tape and get on with the Craiglistings!!

I actually believe that God is a very generous Father who has amazing plans for His children--He does not leave the righteous forsaken--I proclaim without doubts that as our story unfolds our life in Him will be a testimony,a "proof" of how He loves to complete what He calls us to--and what provision and glories he has for His children that not only hear His voice but follow it.

And we already have praise reports about this as we step into the first part of our call to a new ministry, land, and life:

Two fridays ago, we received a call OUT of the BLUE--a beautiful,Godly family offered to rent our current home until we sell it--what a gift!!

The conversation started out with this phrase, "Hi, Gillian this is J., this is going to be a very unusual conversation." Immediately my ears and heart were pricked--God often calls us to things that are seemingly impossible and absolutely illogical so that He'll get all the credit and glory--"very unusual" sounded very "usual" kingdom-wise. :)

WELL!! the blessing was MUCH more than timing or finance or detail for as we sat in our living room with this PRECIOUS couple and their sweet family they told our story of calling--I mean, it was not the exact story--but EVERY other element was there.

This husband called to be a preacher,

mine called to be a pastor.

They do not know what the next step is except that the only word God has for sure given them is , "Stay"--the only word we have been given is, "GO".

They shared encouraging verses that were "our" verses.

And as S. answered Richard's question of "tell me how you KNOW that God has called you to this next step"--his answer was WORD for WORD what Richard says each time he speaks about this calling and the other times God has brought us on a journey.

"You know you are called when nothing else works and this is the ONLY thing you can do."

We laughed--probably too loud for where we were in this tender conversation--and almost fell out of our chairs--again--It was WORD for WORD what Richard says about calling because of his growth in Jesus. Sometimes God just talks out loud--and gives ALOT of repetition--we must be need of this teaching/parenting style of encouragement for He is literally hedging us in with Word to us about journey, will, following Him, continuing to press into seemingly blank areas so that He can reveal the next step of His will to us...

And then it was Richard's turn to answer the question...
And I have to tell you that he acted this out in our living room as he shared it. :)!!

One of Richard's favorite movies is "Indiana and the Temple of Doom".
Yeah, we were teens in the eighties!!

There is this one scene of a deep and wide ravine--Indiana is being pursued--he is going through a set of "tests" in this ancient area that reveal the way to treasure --each one with a biblical allusion (I loved that part of the movie too!)--at this ravine, he starts sweating and shaking--what is he to do...he looks down--the movie prop rock bounces all the Waaaay down to the depths--we hear its descent...--then he stands up- caaaarefully as he picks up his foot and mumbles, "Of course, the walk of Faith" He puts his foot down into...nothingness...and is jolted still--a stone step has appeared and is holding him up--of course the bad guys are showing up at this point too and Indiana (Harrison Ford) has to leap continually into the nothingness of the ravine as step after step appears only AFTER he has set his feet down. This is one of Richard's favorite pictures of faith--and you gotta see him acting it out for our friends in our livingroom!! No matter what the "test" or the "ravine" or the circumstance--God IS there and I believe God our Father is pleased with our faith that, knowing He is there,does NOT shrink back but banks our life on this and step out into what we cannot see. "Faith is EVIDENCE of what we cannot see" after all...

What is He calling your heart to?

Do you have a ravine in front of you?

We do.

I plan to keep stepping out and letting our Father catch us.

Even this morning we asked Him in tears for Faith that will walk forward into what we do not see.

...And away from those familiar banks...


We had a precious missionary mom in my home this week--a brand new friend who is being called by God with her husband to FRANKLIN in a very dramatic and unique way--God has sent an unusual amount of precious people (that I previously did not have a close relationship with) TO MY DOOR and TO MY PHONE over the past weeks--it has been mind-boggling how sweet He is and how much He is NOT going to let us withdraw from this calling!! B. sat on my livingroom sofa and I knew that she was speaking God's words to me when she said, "All my family lives in ---. This has been heart-breaking to even think of being apart from them--but how could I NOT? I really believe that, now, in this season, God is giving out special assignments to those that are seeking Him out in intercession--This is a really special time to listen to Him. He is getting His people ready--I am seeing so many example of this--moving those who are listening and obeying into position for where they will be most effective for the Great Global Harvest to come before He comes back."

So the rest of our week? What will it hold?

We can't see it yet. :) But we do know we will be hugging precious necks of those we have loved in the Nashville area for almost 20 years...

And crying sweet tears of love.

Thanking God for all He's done here and praising HIm in wonder for what He is bringing us to...

Squeezing my mom and dad REALLY tightly--this part of the call is achy--it literally hurts inside--

We will be finding little boys up to their necks in empty boxes

And catching them being pretty naughty--they think I've pack all the boundaries and rules in our boxes for some reason!!

Teens who are packing up a storm--so excited to grow and celebrate, and serve Jesus in their next school and ministry--you should hear their excitement and JOY!!

Ashley's guitar in packing breaks

Phrases like, "Man!! This room is full of boxes--its like BOXLAND in here!!--lets hideout!!"--from Anders and Jack

When are we going already?--Bruik

"I was made for for LOooooove."--Ava singing

Ashley--our word girl in the midst of the newprint for packing--"Its a win-win situation you get to pack up AND read the comics!!"

EVERYONE ELSE--"Hurry up, Ashley!"

Bella the Ball Python (I think I just like to type her name for effect!)
on her way to another abode--Graham found a buyer!! Mama's pretty happy about this!!

A thousand million last minute details...

If you can help us load the truck on Wednesday give us a shout!!--We are looking for helpers!!

But... we ain't walkin' 1,200 miles!--this isn't so bad!--Let's load er up and go already!!


How lovely is your dwelling place,

O Lord Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints,

for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and my flesh cry out

for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young—

a place near your altar,

O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house;

they are ever praising you. Selah

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,

they make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,

till each appears before God in Zion.

Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;

listen to me, O God of Jacob. Selah

Look upon our shield, O God;

look with favor on your anointed one.

Better is one day in your courts

than a thousand elsewhere;

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor;

no good thing does he withhold

from those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord Almighty,

blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Psalm 84

Love, Gillian

We love you M and M

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you




Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don’t

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won’t make a sound
When I can’t turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you


~~~~~~~~~
Glory to God!
THE God of Love.
We have seen His Mighty, Searching Love
Here
Among Us
Salvation is SOOOO Real
and NEAR
Salvation IS a personal God
We can know HIM
and touch Him
and see Him.
He is Jesus.
He IS the way
He is the only solution
He is what all Life is about
THE Truth
OF Abundant,Real Life.
We praise His name
New members to the family!
It IS harvest time
Glory to God!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I took you from the ends of the earth,

from its farthest corners I called you.

I said, ‘You are my servant’;

I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

“All who rage against you

will surely be ashamed and disgraced;

those who oppose you

will be as nothing and perish.

Though you search for your enemies,

you will not find them.

Those who wage war against you

will be as nothing at all.

For I am the Lord, your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you.

Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob,

O little Israel,

for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord,

your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

“See, I will make you into a threshing sledge,

new and sharp, with many teeth.

You will thresh the mountains and crush them,

and reduce the hills to chaff.

You will winnow them, the wind will pick them up,

and a gale will blow them away.

But you will rejoice in the Lord

and glory in the Holy One of Israel.

“The poor and needy search for water,

but there is none;

their tongues are parched with thirst.

But I the Lord will answer them;

I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

I will make rivers flow on barren heights,

and springs within the valleys.

I will turn the desert into pools of water,

and the parched ground into springs.

I will put in the desert

the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.

I will set pines in the wasteland,

the fir and the cypress together,

so that people may see and know,

may consider and understand,

that the hand of the Lord has done this,

that the Holy One of Israel has created it."

(Isaiah 41:9-20)

We KNOW who holds you
He holds us too

Love for ALWAYS,

Mama GG and Daddy Richard

The waters did not pass our threshold--although our garage area took about 5 feet of water and we are pumping out the crawl space--our house is dry. This is especially humbling for our home is the only dry home on our road. About 20-30 other homes have lost their entire first floors in their homes. We have spent the day working among our dear neighbors. Three families around us have lost their homes to fire as well. Please pray for them. Many people have been very tender to reaching out toward Jesus in this time.

We are thanking Him and serving in whatever way we can--only one family of many lost in a flow of outpouring today--we have seen the National Guard, police, electric company, contractors offering free services, young people with gloves on, cars filled with water bottles, a lady who had fixed sandwhiches and the back of her car looked like a vendor on wheels--just giving it away...such manpower as well--about 100s of people are ripping out wet insulation, floor boards, dry wall down our street--children are drying personal photos on towels and are running errands for bigger people--it is breathtaking--. Real Life, y'all--we are amazed and blown away by the love that God is pouring out through people today.

Blessings,

gillian

5,4,3,2,1 Praise Reports Countdown

We are going to do a Tucker countdown of the goodness of God in our midst...

Starting with... #5...

Number FIVE...

Their mother is ALIVE!!

Another commitment to Christ in our midst!!

We received the news in a precious group phone call the other day!!!!!!!!!

We invited the newly- born princess over for a pizza dinner and we all hugged and cheered and laughed and watched the children dance that night.
In the midst of pizza and laughter and hair fixin', a funny movie, and spazy kid dancing--our Friday pizza night --you gotta love it!...

We were told this night was a first.

...The first family night--ever for the guest at our table...

And so, another life was added to our family group here--but not a son or a daughter this time

but a sister.

He never gives up on us

--Never.

--in fact, as Revelation shares, when God opens a door NO MAN can shut it.

It is NEVER too late for a new beginning

--IN CHRIST AND ONLY IN CHRIST ALL things are New

--All things are made possible.

I believe this.

Recently we prayed to understand --to see what God means by transformation--"show us more of this we asked"--we stayed down on our knees,

Asking,

Fasting for a breakthrough of His Presence in our midst

--for salvation for these new family members and a new friend--

Then, to actually SEE it before our literal eyes--God is real and wants to fix the lonely, broken,even you even me--He is searching for us...

Who are you asking for?

Who has God placed on your heart?

It was that name that just flashed across your mind.

Yes, that one--

Start asking--NOTHING is impossible--

More praise reports to come!!

Love to you!

Gillian

:) Born to LIVE!!

...praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Acts 2:47...

On Saturday we witnessed another "home birth" in the Tucker home!! "Midwifery" in the Lord is my most pleasant "job" as a Christian mother :)!!

Celebrate with the angels in heaven and with us--another soul (our 12 year old foster son) saved to ETERNAL LIFE in Christ!! Hallelujah!! We already witness a radiance, settledness, peace, and direction in God's ways upon this child. Searched out, drawn, found--Wow!! To watch this young man "take a knee" and humble himself before God after seeing a Christian Football movie that touched his heart... He said, "Mommy Gillian, that man --God answered all his prayers. Every time he prayed, God answered his prayer." The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, "Now's the time, ask him." I turned to M. "M.,would you like to have God answer you when you pray? Would you like to ask Him to come into your heart right now?"
... Its been a long wrestling match between M. and God--pretty fierce at times--there have been times as we brought out the Bible M. would literally run out of the room. A glaze and physical restlessness would come on him at the mention of the name of Christ... And yet little by little we have seen him "peeking out" of the door of his heart--leaving the door cracked so he could hear what was going on outside---we could see a greater thirst and hunger to know God. We kept telling him God was knocking... And here he was at the door--hand on the knob... "YES!! I want God in me. YES!! that's what I want." We called into the next room for all the children to join us --each one delighting in the news-- M. invited all the children of the family to gather around him in a circle and to hold hands and to pray with him...
--to hear him pray for the very FIRST time (until this point we had only heard 'God is Good and thanks for the food")to hear Him call God, "my king" and then to hear Him speak in love for God and call him his leader and then to top this off
--to hear this child
--a new son of God call God,
"Daddy"
--oh, my.
He bear hugged Richard that night and told him that it was hard to let Jesus in
--but then he grinned,
"I'm SO GLAD He opened the door."
We are now disciplining both brother and sister at night so that as they grow together. The first night for this was on Sunday night--we are using this simple devotional about life in Christ--on the first night the end part of the devotion was an activity that brought them to a mirror and to stand in front of it declaring several times, "I am a child of God"--picture watching that reflection!!What power!!Praise God!!
... Sister saved, Brother saved and now we are continuing to believe a promise that God has given us from Isaiah 58 that their family line will be saved --that they will be restorers of broken walls and dwellers in safe places--that God Himself will come and dwell with them--that many more are to come to salvation through their lives. A new destiny--an assured path lies before them now--so much greater than what we could ever plan or carve out for them in our work with and for them these days--Oh, thank you, Lord!! Please pray that we would rightly be preparing/disciplining these kids for whatever wonderful plans God has in store for them--a hope and a future for sure.
And I encourage you--just ask--perhaps there are other fish out there -- so ready to "jump into the boat"...it just might suprise you--with Joy!!

Blessings,
Gillian

Grace Times Five :)

Yes, this only lasted one night, until we had to separate them--but how cute are they?!


Sorry Graham, someone in the family has to bunk on the palate on the floor--it will make for a great family story someday though, right? Thanks for the sacrefice!


Not enough space for all? Jack was in heaven to get to bunk in with Mom and Dad for 4 whole nights--snuggle monster that he is!

Ashley and Anderson snuggling late one night




BRRRRR. it was COLD in Kansas City but we had packed a tub of cold stuff!! The kiddos got to have lots of snowball fights and got to do some AWESOME sledding too!!

Hello, friends!----The end of 09 and the beginning of 10---- or do you say, twenty ten? ----we have not received a clear answer on what to call this new decade!----but regardless the past few weeks have been very special in the Tucker family~~as we hope it was for you as well~~

We had another time of miracles among our family here just a few days ago. Richard and I had been led to go to Kansas City to be part of a worship/prayer/equipping conference there, called One Thing. It was put on by the International House of Prayer in KC. I just want to share an excerpt I recently wrote to a leader of that ministry...

"Recently we were prompted to head up to the One Thing conference in thankful response to all God has been doing via IHOP's ministry here. As we backed out of the driveway--packed to the gills in our Suburban with 6 of our 8 children, the check engine light went on! After a disappointing diagnostic hours later, we were told that it would take 555 dollars to fix our car. We got very quiet and before Richard and I discussed what to do next we each went to a different nook of the shop--me behind a pile of Firestone tires and Richard staring out of the advertisements on the glass front window of the Firestone store. The Lord's message to us was different than the mechanic. He spoke something else, "Go anyway" individually to each of our hearts, and , "I'm up to something big in your lives with this trip--you could miss out on it if you do not go". Next, he told Richard to lay hands on the car and then to drive 55 miles an hour up 550 miles to KC. (do you notice all the 5's?--this is God's # of grace) We obeyed--with much joy and anticipation--and had a very SCENIC trip on our slow drive up to KC. Not too long into our obedience, God turned off the check engine light--we did not see it for the remainder of the trip!
We have been living a missionary lifestyle of service and intercession here in Franklin and as we arrived in KC, we tried to purchase an item and found out that our TN bank account was completely depleted several large payments at home had hit our account early and all at once --now, at the beginning of the trip-- we only had enough for our hotel and no money to get back home.--We thanked God for a Breckfast bar at the Hampton hotel that provided what we call-"Breckfast and breckfast and breckfast" for each of our meals in KC! :) HEE!! (And for His grace on our children who did not complain once about sausage egg biscuits and muffins for dinner)! Next, as only God can do, He provided provision miracle after provision miracle,caused answers to prayers that have been prayed for 18 years, quite beautifully and right along with His timing of how He has so been on the move for our hearts and His power in our lives lately commissioned us for service as intercessionary missionaries, and spoke prophetic Word into us in the prayer room--the trip became a pilgrimage of sorts--it definitely was the trip of our lives!!"
God's miracles in our family were not just financial and protection over us physically and over our car (alot of miracles involving that car recently, huh?). The movement from the Lord that caused us great thankfulness and awe was being encountered powerfully by His loving,burning heart. Also, watching Him encounter our children. One special morning we asked for prayer from some intercessory missionaries who serve in the healing/prayer room at the International House of Prayer's Mission base--three incredibly dear people laid hands on our family and on Richard and I and then on our children as individuals--we heard MUCH encouragement and prophecy over each person in this time but most incredibly were the moments as they prayed over our little Ava. As they laid hands gently on her and quietly prayed for her the WEIGHTY presence of the Lord entered the room--I can't describe it well-- but we strongly experienced the presence of the Lord--it was peace and overwhelm at once. Ava's little body began shaking under the presence of the Lord--His Spirit was manifesting His glory on our little girl!!--this was happening while prophecy about her journey before the Lord, her giftings and callings were being prayed over her and pulled forth out of her as well --those minutes of prayer could have been days or years for we got lost in the Joy of His presence...as He danced openly over our little songbird
--we were all overcome with the JOY of the Lord and laughter bubbled up as well as many tears--it was an utterly beautiful experience among MANY others over the course of our trip and related to His movement in our family lately--We had seen other adults come under the influence of the Holy Spirit but to watch Him awaken our little girl was a blessing beyond measure. She is so pure before Him that her open heart was easy and accessible for Him to pour into--I want Ava to be my model before the Lord--to be so childlike and simple and receiving before Him that He can mightily move in and through my frame--to pour in at Will whenever He so desires. And this is how I will be pushing in to His presence in this new year. God is REAL--His Spirit walks among us and wants to encounter us--just as He did in the past in the OT. and more--just like He did through the apostles and in Acts--He's as fresh and willing to move in us and through us and with us in power today as in any other time in history--time and time again this week we realized and experience His love among us. Among wonderful praise, encountering prayer, we also witnessed college age students, 20,000 of them reaching toward the pursuit of God. They were precious "kids"--full of the Spirit of Christ--engaging others, bibles were out instead of blackberries--there was hardly a text message in sight--a generation unplugged from the world's draw and charged up with the love for Christ and taking that love in vast acts of justice to His world. We did not hear a cross word among this large crowd for 4 days and joyed in overhearing young people's conversations in which they spoke of WHO they wanted to be in God (first commandment) and how that fueled their love for His Word and His world. We witnessed people taking off their glasses and taking off their casts to reveal healed arms, several crooked backs were made straight and several legs even GREW several inches to even out bodies--Christ loves to make us whole--that's why He went to the cross for us--and His power from the cross's payment for us was so powerfully moving among a receiving worshiping people WOW...I believe this is what Christ's body should appropriately look like and how it should operate. And I will be encouraging His body to take place before Him in these ways in the upcoming seasons of my life--you included, with much tenderness and love to you, my bloggy friends!!
Stay tuned for other movement of our family in Him and please keep us and calling in Him in your prayers.
Blessings in these first days of 2010!
Love, Gillian

Daisy, Daisy, Ava Aday -- We love you!

We picked this cheery flower for you today :).

It is the Aday flower--

the Ethiopian version of the American Daisy.

Aday flowers grow on the high plains of Ethiopia in April--
the month we went to pick up our precious children.

I have shared recently about how we "picked" out--
rather,
how God picked out
Bruik's name.

Ava's name story is just as special.

Often as we prayed for Ava and gazed at her referral photo in the months between our referral and when we traveled, I would talk with God about a name for her.

Over and over my heart was impressed that our family needed the delicacy and tender beauty of this fragile "flower" before me in our little photo.





We desired much out of a name!! For both children, we wanted to have a name that reflected their unique identity--what kind of a gift they were from God, a family name from our heritage, and an Ethiopian name to celebrate their beautiful culture and heritage.

Ava's original Ethiopian name meant "one who cries out loudly" and while that makes me smile now cause she really IS a loud one :)--this name was not going to do for it was given by her nannies at the orphanage and was related to how she was found on the streets of Addis Ababa.

Instead, she was named, Ava, meaning, "Breath of Life", and she would share my middle name, Leigh--NOW for the ET. name,--not just any name would do,--I searched high and low for Ethiopian flower names and found the beautiful flower above--a tiny yellow daisy that blooms only in the month we were to pick her up and bring her into our arms--perfect!

Ava Aday-Leigh... so many international children could use some extra spaces on name forms, right, adoptive parents?

But here's where our story takes on the fingerprints of God...

What a JOY it was to meet our little Aday flower--she was as beautiful and bright and tender as a little wildflower for sure.





As we brought Bruik and Ava onto the plane--into all the newness of a first sight of a plane, first ride on an elevator, first experience in close spaces with so many pale faces :),first tastes, sights, smells...the children did remarkably well. They joyfully bounced up and down in their seats as Bruik sang this specific song we assumed from the orphanage over and over. Over and over he sang to Ava to make her smile and to calm her down. The song worked every time and went something like,

"Aw wah et
Lah Lem" (repeat)

Throughout our first year, whenever the children needed a special connection --they would speak toddler speak in Amharic (their language) and jump up and down Ethiopian-style and sing this happy little song. Its a song that can go on and on but that remains sounding really sweet--especially watching the sweet bond --Bruik protecting and enjoying--and Ava trusting and giggling.





About a year and a half later, on my birthday, we went to our favorite Ethiopian restaurant in town, Abay. We had become friends with the manager and on occasion had tried singing this little song to him to find out what it was. It never registered--we thought it was something cute the children had made up or a toddlerized version of another song.

On this night, however, a new waitress came to our table and after some conversation we asked this young Ethiopian girl if we could sing her our little song. She laughed, we attempted and pretty much embarrassed ourselves in front of a roomful of Ethiopian nationals enjoying their dinners. BUT our new friend's eyes immediately lit up and she began to sing WITH us--she filled in all the gaps of our little song with Amharic words and song. We stopped singing and listened to the completion of what we had only heard in snippets. It was a gorgeous song!

"OOOOOHHHH..." she smiled at us
"That is the song that little Ethiopian girls sing. Each year they sing this song as they go from house to house bringing flowers at our new year. They first go out into the fields and pick ADAY flowers and then they carry them from house to house singing this song about the ADAY flower."

I jumped up and down and clapped my hands in delight--I must have looked like my little children in their joy as they sung this song so often!

The song Bruik had been singing to comfort Ava all those months was HER NAME!!
What confirmation for us that God had chosen that name (and I thought I was being so clever/creative when I first found it :)-ha!)

As we tend to and delight in the Aday flower in the colorful array of our family bouquet we are so humbled to see that it was truly God's hand that reached out and picked her for us.







God's hands are always busy tending to what He loves most. The orphaned, the lost, the wounded, the lonely, those in distress, the widowed, the forgotten... I just am thrilled to hear stories like this one ALL THE TIME from those who are choosing to walk in places alongside of those who particularly touch His heart. We currently are experiencing stories like this one almost every day with our new foster children. Just storing them up--one day perhaps we'll have the permission to share them--until then (keep praying us along please!!) we live so amazed at the power and LOVE of a loving FATHER God who is ALL about transformation -- hope and a future for each of our lives.

Blessings!

Gillian


American Black-Eyed Susan Flowers



P.S. A Shout out to the REDINGTON family--see their link on the side of my blog to their blog "Journey of Hope". They have JUST brought their little girl, Wylie, home to her forever family!! They have gone through fire to bring her home--this is a day of rejoicing!! We celebrate with you, dear Redingtons!!

The Bread Lady

Women Making Injera Bread in Ethiopia


O.K., y'all, my children have asked me several times since entering "blog land", "Have you told them about the bread lady?" Well...(smile), let me tell you...the "bread lady" is a very special person around here. Funny though...we have never seen her! Just huge bags of bread in black Glad bags that arrive at our door..a new game of Easter bunny or Tooth Fairy but just really odd over at the Tuckers' house? No, let me rewind a bit...

Love costs. It can be expensive. That's a distubing thought isn't it? But its true. Of course the most amazing cost has been spent on the cross for our buying back for an eternal relationship with God. Yet, even in our lives, love can be costly. And it should be as we are to be living mirrors of God on the Earth--living out before the world what Christ looks like, what He stands for. And, I'm not talking about jewlery or cards or presents here --I'm thinking of the redemption costs that God places before us, here, on this Earth. Many examples come to mind--the patience that we must "save up" to bear with daily interactions with our sandpaper relationships--you know, the "gratey" ones that really rub us the wrong way--its costly to bite our tongue or perhaps to become "bankrupt" popularity-wise for living out our lives in a way that is set apart (holy) for God. There's also the cost of keeping an open heart and hand outstreched to the things of God--it may just break your heart even as it expands it. I will never forget the day I announced to my mentor for adoption that we were adopting--I was glowing --on cloud nine with dreams dancing in my heart and most likely in my eyes. She hugged me and then said, "Gillian, once you go forward with this, you can never go back again. Once you look 'under the rock' your heart will never be the same again. It will slay your heart. Get ready to be changed forever. It will be one of the best and the hardest rides of your life." Costly. Yet what is the price of a life? Sometimes we joke with people who come us to us in stores and ask in a light, joking way "how much to take this one home with me?" and we have always grinned and replied, "oh, you don't have enough!!this one's priceless!!" Adoption is one example of --the purchase of a redemption price to save -- quite literally-- a life. Though I have heard of other redemption costs, such as those that are going to dig fresh water wells to bring living water to people or those who bring justice to children trapped in slavery, or those who give every Saturday night to read to thier friend in the nursing home down the street, this cost, the one for Adoption and for the saving of two lives, two names -- two little sets of hands in mine, this recently has been our specific call. And it has been worth every hour of completing ALL the paperwork to complete the dossier. It was worth every tear and every torn place in my Mother's heart. It was worth the dusty, incredible trip -- high altitude sickness, 5 children with Hepetitis A, 3 sets of poopie diapers for (forever! it seemed),rearraging our schedule--no, lets say, demolishing it!, stretching my waistline (stress can do that to me),the angst and concern first over skinny under weight babies we could not get to until travel date and now an ache that will never go away for thier precious families--is the birth mother who has Hep. C still alive?--I hold her heart in my arms I'm sure,the probing and searing looks and comments, the loss of place/identity, to a degree in a culture (my own) in which I once flowed around so easily within--being the big, racially mixed bunch really gets you over your fear of being stared at!! to think I once was shy!!:)

But the cost--it is worth it. Let me shout that, "IT IS WORTH IT !!" For we know, inherently so, for what has high value can bring high cost. And what God's heart is after is what is of highest value. I'll count the cost as being so "worth" it!!

I'm going to be spending alot of time in the blog being thankful for the amazing blessing of adoption--showing the incredible value of it. But to display my heart with honesty--the cost needs to be shown a bit --its o.k.--its just part of the story of redemption. And my Father, God loves redemption. And, after all, I'm not "spending" my resources at all--they all come from my Father--that's where this really get good. Poopie diapers? He gives me patience--when I allow Him too.-- Sickness? Over and over He is showing us His willingness and delight to heal our bodies.-- Wisdom to raise 6 kiddos? Well, that's James 1--He gives us wisdom generously if we ask, believing...and the money? the redemption price we had to gather together to save two lives from a desparate situation--it came from Him--it was miraculous and it still is. We are wowed EVERY day by His provision.--and that's where the bread lady comes in!... :)

You can look up how much it costs to adopt two children internationally--lets just say--its alot. Its alot for those who are not already taking care of a brood of kids on one income in an expensive school district. And yet, as each round of checks came, God provided for the liquid funding for each set. You know those finacial systems that speak of having "cushions" financially? ...well, we never "sat" on cushie cushions but now I know we are sitting on a pretty firm "bench". HA! Add the current financial state of the country to adopting 2 children, raising 6, and moving all in the past 18 months and we are in great need of God to really "show up" and "show off" on a daily basis. And, we are loving it! Yes, that wasn't a typo. It is so awesome to live each day really getting "give me this day my daily bread". Ah, bread!! so tell me about the bread lady, Gill!

(I share this with permission and prompting from my sweet Richard).
This Fall was an especially challenging time for us finacially for all the reasons mentioned above. We became completely drained due to the cost of our adoption plus a move last spring. We were experiencing shortages that were the type that make a Mother's pulse race--yet we stood on the fact that God promises to take care of His own.--there was this one period that was incredibly tight--at one point there was just nothing left--and there wasn't going to be anything coming in for days. We prayed. We prayed simply with the kids. Richard went and laid hands (literally) on an ATM machine for gas money. God made just what he needed come out that day, no more, no less --Manna. We thanked and jumped around with the kids. "Man! I wonder how God's going to take care of us next!!" Anderson shouted. Jack wanted to go back to the bank to watch the miracle machine spit some more money out! Within the next few days first Richard ran into a deer with our Suburban--smashing in its nose and putting it out of comission. We walked to school--it was fun--an adventure we shared praises and swang hands and had a little more time to connect in the morning--and we prayed and trusted that our Father was taking care of us. We experimented with all sorts of bean soups, baked bread, picked apples from Kathleen's tree--alot! Ate LOTS of applesauce :). God extended the harvest of our little garden and we thanked Him around the table. And we sang. Then a few days later, our green, wonderful free car from Richard's family lived out its final moments --as Richard backed out of the driveway for work, plumes of smoke and weird noises came out of the engine--it was
dead". But our faith wasn't. Its in moments like these that Faith's really real--its a gift from God and really is there right as we need it. We asked God for a car. And even asked for a VERY low price for it and waited. He gave it! Within a week, one of my dearest friends, Eliana,you'd just love her--she walks with Jesus so simply but winsomely-- was driving us to school, as we sat in the car I laugh, sighed over our cars and she asked, "what about this one?" "what would you like for it?" in faith I mentioned our VERY low idea for a price and within a few days the car was in our driveway -- a gift from God. We all gathered inside it to praise God and thank Him for taking care of us. You could cut the Joy with a knife and serve it on a plate with some ice cream for dessert!! It was wonderful--it was how God takes care of His people. Provision continued, different faces, different stories but daily during that time. Friends dropping by with coolers full of food --a friend had just defrosted a freezer for moving and our freezer was stuffed with its contents--we praised--we thanked --and we ate WELL--fun, really yum food. My friend, Eliana "just" popped by to make and share her excellent cooking several times. And when the pantry got low another week we were invited to spur of the moment dinners--who "just" invites 8 people over?--thanks God! and other such happenings but what we loved most was the bread lady.

Early in this time, my precious friend, Laura dropped by my house one night. I just love her! "Does your family eat bread?" YES!! And boy do we love it even more now!! "Well, there's this lady..."she said, "we call her the bread lady. We don't really know her well. She showed up at a yard sale we were having a couple weeks back with a trunk full of bread. She has some deal with Publix where they give her thier day old bread (its very fresh bread)" And you know I said, sure! we'd LOVE some!! "Well, you better go get the kids to bring it in." she told me. What? and then she opened the back of her mini van (my stomach just lept mentioning this)--inside were bags and bags--we are talkin' grocery bags--maybe 5? just filled with bread. We lugged them all inside. Just overcome. Manna does fall in Williamson County --just sometimes in the form of Pepperidge Farms Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Bread and Country Oatmeal with extra fiber and Poppy Seed Multi-Grain Bagels and Italien Bake and Eat Deluxe Loaf--oh my!! It wasn't just any ole bread--it was the best!! So we had the most fun pulling out all those loaves and sorting them in lines of like items--like a little bread store. Everyone exclaiming--OHHHH--I love this kind! and hand me some more of that one! look here's some MORE!! We stuffed our freezer--we put loaves in the pantry and loaves in the garage (it was wintery in there). We made plans for bagel pizzas and french toast and pannini sandwhiches...and lots of pb and j!! But we STILL had loads--I mean grocery bags worth left over. Thinking of how God instructed the Israelites to not hoard up the blessing of food that He gave them in the wilderness journey, I knew we would neither hoard the blessing or waste it either. So all loaded up our red wagon and handed out bread to the neighbors, and to our friends, and to contract workers in the neighborhood, and to some roofers who softened thier rough exteriors as they saw that wagon full of bread rolling up (the next morning)...You can imagine how we hit our knees that night in thanks and praise to God!! a shower of provision -- so much that we were able to pour it out all over others as well--we became bread distributors--crazy ,wonderful!! and the bread kept being brought by for weeks and weeks. Varying amounts--ALWAYS at the right time and just what and more than we needed. The children are completely in awe of God's hand. What He has allowed us to walk through--the cost, the wait on Him, the awesome provision it ALL is meaningful and fits together to create a faith that is unshakable no matter what the times are around us. We are standing on His provision. Its just there. Believe it. Fall on it. He's right here. He REALLY is. Ask, expect Him to show up on time and take care of you. Man! Showers of bread?!! He really is an awesome Father.

"Rejoice in the Lord,O you righteous! Praise benefits the upright....Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him. on those who hope in His steadfast love, that He may deliver their soul from death, and keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and shield. Yea, our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His holy name. Let thy steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in thee."