Jack--first on left with some friends.
It was an "Ah HA!" moment.
Truly the type that makes you stand a bit taller, listen more attentively, lean in a little closer,and review the message--rewinding to hear it again--for confirmation of a message that so matches what God has been speaking to Mommy and Daddy..."Yes, Lord? We're all ears!"...
This time it was little Jack (our Kindergartener) who took our breath away.
Cute little Jack,
With that swingy hair and the wide open eyes...
Little puppy one moment--little preacher the next!!
A group of the children had just exited our kitchen to play Stratego in the Family Room. Only Jack and I remained,--a rare moment-- sitting on the floor, leaning up against the dishwasher. The dishwasher--still working the grime off the night's dishes for 10--busily worked behind our backs as we took a moment to rest against its humming door. (oh, how thankful I am for my electronic helpers!!--I really should name them!!) :)
Jack snuggled in and then looked up with such an earnest expression--you know the one--the type that both breaks your heart and makes you willing to say yes to any reasonable request!--
"Mommy, I HAVE to ask you a question."
Yes, Jack? (sweet heart thump)
"Mommy, I need to know something.
Yes?
"I want to know if there REALLY is a Hell.
I can take it, Mommy. REALLY."
And looking into those eyes--seeing how the Truth would register--knowing the Truth--slayed MY heart too--tears rose and I glupped out,
Yes.
Jack.
There really is a Hell.
"OH, NO!!!
" Mommy,
" Mommmmy!
" You HAVE to TELL me...
"... What happens to people in Hell?"
My stomach sank--like I was hearing it for the first time...
Like I was realizing the finality for one of my friends or dear family member...
A face came to mind...Then another dear face...Then another!
Truth struck in the gut.
Well, Jack,
Big blue eyes fixed on mine...
Honey...They burn up.
It never ends.
"OOOOHHhhh, noooo! NOOOOOO!"
It wasn't that this information was unbelievable--his spirit was grieving. To hear pure grief for the lost crying out was Love's raw sound.
"But you have to help me TELL them."
Tell what?
To who?
"YOU HAVE to tell them everything!! So they won't burn up"
Who, Jack?
He names friends from his school.
"MOMMY, I KNOW--they DON'T know Jesus!--we have to TELL them!"
We pray for his friends, we go over the simple message of Jesus's love and good news for his friends. We agree to speak ALOT of how to tell his friends about the love and salvation of Jesus.
Then he sits up and gets out of my lap and leans forward on the floor and reaches over and puts my face in his chubby hands.
"Mommy, YOU don't know anyone who is going to Hell, do you?"
The room feels heavier...
Yes, honey I...
"NOOOOOOO!
"WHHHyyyyy? WHY hasn't anyone TOLD them???"
He just settled back on my lap and we rocked there together, aching for the lost--in tears over the lost that we know...that we live with and among...every day...
Praying, crying , rocking there...
--just burdened.
In a moment, Jack sat up straight--full of something to say.
"I got it! I know what to do!!"
And a gift of evangelism/missionary call was imparted...listen to this...
"I KNOW what to do. What we need to do is to get ALL the Bibles in the house and go to school and TELL everyone about Jesus... AND we need to make sure they have a Bible so that they can grow... THEN we need to go tell everyone in our City about Jesus and...(he stands up, really excited)...then we need to go on LITTLE TRIPS ALL around America and tell people about Jesus...
And Mommy, (he pauses) I really don't think SCHOOL is as important as telling people about Jesus SO I think i need to stop school for a while and just go on little trips to tell people about Jesus. ACTUALLLY...the WHOLE WORLD needs to hear about Jesus so we are going to need LOTS of bibles and are going to need to go on LOTS of trips all around the world to tell people.
(he earnestly thinks of another layer)
...And oh, oh,oh! SOME people in the world are HUNGRY and they need FOOD. And if you don't have FOOD you can't LISTEN very well. SO we are going to have to bring a WHOLE BUNCH of food and bibles on our little trips."
"Can we do it, Mom?"
"Can we go on little trips?"
And in that moment--especially after recently asking God in my own prayers for more of Himself for more of a burden for the lost--it was as if my prayer was answered with a new question put in its place--from the Master Himself--'what IS your answer? WILL you go...on these 'little trips'?'
' Well?'
I hugged Jack tight with the energy and Joy that only the Spirit of Jesus pours on and prayed an answer into his ear.
Mostly, was just knocked over that the Lord was suddenly birthing and displaying in my kitchen, after dinner, in one of my littlest sons--what Richard and I had been experiencing and asking for/waiting on in this past season of our walk...What we have been practicing walking out in our daily lives...while knowing...hearing...God is bringing more fullness to this...
Confirmation, awe, wonder, worship...
So, Jack goes to school the next day with Joy about telling his friends about the love of Jesus. The next day, he is down with an illness, and the next...and the next..He continues to talk of "little trips" filling out his vision...
A corner of my kitchen fills up with bags of bibles ...
and books--"cause the children that we are going to see need things to read"
FAVORITE toys and treasures
and boxes and cans of food too.
I do not forget, but there is a lull in time and life is full of many things to wonder over here in the midst of other ministry here at the Tucker camp...
I sign an illness note 3 days and a weekend after our first conversation and drive Jack up to the Elementary School after watching to see if he was well enough to head into the classroom that morning.
We enter the classroom to much attention.
"LOOK!! IT's JACK T. (there are 2 Jack's in the class and this is the way to keep them straight...)
"Jack T's back!!"
Our most wonderful, Ms. Fitch (we just LOVE her!) stops what she is doing to ask how Jack's trip around the world has been.
(I am not the quickest to think on my feet--just horrible at small talk or thinking quickly--just think she is making a reference to a fiction story or is playing pretend and I play to it with a feeble joke)
"No, Really, (Ms. Fitch is absolutely serious) "Jack TOLD all the boys and girls about his LITTLE TRIPS."
Ohhhhhh,my.
I'm hit with a wave of Wow and just am unable to speak.
...the boldness of my little boy--so clearly making Jesus known and believing what the Spirit has called him to...Just telling it like it is.
This time I answer more fully to his teacher...and store up wonder in my heart...
I hear the question again,
'WELL? What's your answer?'
...to be continued as God reveals more...
Love and Grace and "little trips",
Gillian
