Prairie Gold

"The Golden Time of Day"  ~  I think I'm made for "such a time as this".

So as we were driving along and they asked to stop here in this grassy prairie field to chase and play around...I couldn't resist!

They burst out of the van ~ all loud and full of puppy energy...or maybe they were horses...galloping across the pastures...or fleet-footed like deer...or little rabbits making cozy nests all hidden within swaying walls of tall grass...but in a moment they looked so small as they headed for the horizon and their voices blended in with the sound of wind brushing through the tall grassy weeds and wild grains.

Go my beauties...run for the horizon...

  Like a day at the beach does, nature's vastness hushed us and swallowed us up in beauty. We were lost in the gentle majesty of reeds bowing down  in the late afternoon sun.

  This was yet another tabernacle.

  Another place TO tabernacle with the creator who cannot be contained in buildings or structures--who bursts forth in in majesty and heart-pounding wonder.   It felt so sacred, standing here, brushing my hands lightly across fuzzy dried seed stems, stroking them, petting them...and considering the weight of glory of a moment and a place... meditating upon the ONE who IS Beauty...who was blowing wind all over us in this gentle,golden moment... loosing strands of my brown hair to play and dance across my face... to join in on the choreography  of life all around me...

I spun around, like the little girl who used to spin around in the shallow end of the pool, splashing my hands all across the surface of the water...and when the world drew into horizontal lines again of stripes of amber and tan and cobalt and white, I heard them calling me, a further invitation into the sacredness of this moment..."Mom, PLAY with us!!...CHASE US, MOM!!..."for a moment, I held back.  But my heart overcame my default setting of "staid adultland" and I ran...

The boys are faster and finer than Mama in all things athletic but we laughed and teased and they LET me catch them after they hid in the grasses and it got SO quiet that all that I could hear was the sound of the wind breathing over the prairie and the sound of some sweet bird song near a thrush of creek nearby.  I caught them and spun some until we were all dizzy and the sky touched the Earth in slants and circles.  It was glorious!

And look, do you see the light on Bruik's face?  Highlighting him?  In this moment...all his tender beauty shone forth...I want to ever see my children in golden light.

Big brother Graham had his turn shaking out his little siblings and swooped them all up with muscles that have grown strong with service and discipline over the last season.  He's a kind sheepherder of the youngers, a strong young man, a diligent laborer.  We are so very proud of him.  He's amazing at industry.  At this time in life, one does not impart manhood to the son for it should already have been formed over the years into his very nature.  But it is almost time for the blessing and the release.  He has become aware of it...so have we.  It catches in my heart when I see him at full run.  It won't be long...  In this moment,  I saw the man to be.  Running for that horizon...into the golden light....across  swaying harvest fields...with purpose, with fire in his eyes...

And my heart beats so fast, with such awareness in these moments, for I know that we are made for golden light...that our lives are being refined "like the gold" if we are setting our gaze on the beautiful one, Christ Jesus...that we tabernacle with a God who has a golden sash around His waist, who IS the Beloved of Heaven...who prepares a place for us with Him...in His tent with Him...NOW, it is possible in every day, in every moment...

and forever...

My heart worships, it sings like the wind blowing over the prairie fields...how can it not?!

Love and Blessing,

GG

P.S.  Hopefully in the next days and weeks we will be journaling here about our current ministry calling and more stories about this. :)

Mothering ....in the Rains....

We have had a DOWNPOUR of rain this morning.  In
the midst of it we gathered to the living room window to check on our nesting robin bird out in the peach tree next to the window.

And as we did...I was given an early Mother's Day present ~ one of the sweetest I have ever received ~

Anderson leaned across the sofa and leaned his forehead onto the cool window pane.

"AW!  She's getting wet in the rain!!"


Aggressive Sheets of rain blanketed our precious little lady, hunkered down deep in her nest with her wing over her face...Only bits of tail feather and nest running with water were visible from my children and I in our toasty dry room...

Jackson dissappeared... with a faint "I'll be back"....

Anderson thumped his head on the glass--gently as to not frighten our friend...

"Man....She's SO wet..."

He leaned back,

"Mom, she's SACRIFICING herself for the eggs."

(Oh, my baby...The glory weight upon that sentence.)

"They are such good parents."

(my heart sinks and feels tens of things...none of which related to pride or pleasure...)

I am out done

Undone

By a feathery friend in the rain...

Then I get my gift

Like all the best gifts it is a gift of

Simple Grace.

"Mommy, you're like a robin bird!"

He leans back to the window petting the glass--reaching toward her in protection...

"You're like sisters."


And from the corner windows at the other edge of our room...

We hear a splash,splooosh,wack,brushy.splash!!!


And look out to see Jack...dressed in his winter coat,  and under a pink umbrella

Bare feet splashing in puddles

Riding in to bring a lady a "brella" in the rain.

We run interference but laugh with the adorable compassion :)

And,...My eyes see wings

Over me

Over ~ Parenting,Mothering, ~ all

Kept

in a Nest

In the Palm of HIS hands...


And when the rains come...

Sheltered....


Under the Shadow of HIS wings....

Love, Gillian


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now...

 A precious gift to you today....

From my full nest to yours...

My heart so resonated with this message today, that as Mothers we do not have to "BE" the Hallmark card...

...there is grace...

for

"He gently leads those with young"

Isaiah 40:11

Please click on the sentence below to go to Ann Voscamp's blog for a treat

A Holy Experience -- For the Mother who Fears Failure...

"A Time to Start Looking"

My mind is  full of "beautiful" today.

Outside, the brilliant blue sky is Mediterranean blue with pure white clouds rocking and  traveling across like party boats.

The wind has played with our hair today and blown "helicopter" maple seeds whirling around like Spring confetti all throughout the air and yard.

Writing to you here from my writing desk, a gentle robin bird graces me with the privlege of her trust by fluffing herself down into a woven nest of grass in the tender green peach tree framing  our living room window.  We have been watching her for a week now, swooping down to pluck tuffs of grass and to return to a V in her sheltered spot.

  Little boys have been shewed and warned away from our birdie nursery...and sent to their rooms for climbing up for forbidden peeks none the less--how could they help themselves?

  Robin bird made us break out in muffled laughter  as we  piled and balanced on the sofa by the window and watched her through  glass panes.  As she  busied herself with housekeeping that evening, she  flashed us all with her plump bottom--tail feathers so prettily arranged, like a little petticoat.

How amazing our God is in His creative design..even the robins get undergarments!!..

..Today, beyond the little tree, further out in our yard, Ashley, our 16 year old, suns herself in the yard, soaking in Bible homework in the sun... her face is uplifted now...I think she is enjoying more than the sunshine, heart gazing in enjoyment on the One who made this warmth as a love-gift for her....to mark the days and seasons of her life...until she is with Him for ever...

His...forever...

.Much more distance  away but so close to our heart today...a young girl in far away England will be married tonight...

and become a princess...

I will be setting my alarm for the wee hours of the morning ~ and I do not feel this is over- romatic to do so ~
Can you see my girlie grin????

Rare,pure celebration in the midst of the recent shakings and  birth pangs of the World....
...this is one celebration that needs to be savoured!!

~ "a time to laugh"~

~ 'a time to dance'~  *

~ I would not miss for the world the carriage ride, the flowing train, the flowers,  intimate looks exchanged,the beautiful bride, a glowing groom, a nation filled with Joy !!!

Yet, what pulls me awake and allows me to set my alarm for 3:45 this Friday morning is not only a life-long love for romance,beauty and love...

it is all of this...

plus something...

that sings of what is REAL....   Whispered proclamation of the day of the return of the King of All Kings...

On that day in which we will ALL have a front row seat...and every knee will bow...

And as I have felt, especially recently...

the groan...

of global earthquakes,and southern floods and tornados here at home, the ache of human tragedy, nations caught up in upheavals and rumors of war....

I cannot help but remember the loving warning Jesus gave us about all of this.

...to...look up...

just as we would in our daily lives to check the  the weather for the day...He reminds us to look around and to know that these specific global signs are the beginning of a beginning  of .. expectant waiting...for the King's return...He has said that at His return, all those who believe in Him will rule and reign with Him...there will be

garments,crowns, assignments..

.but what I see and feel is...

His  Presence...standing next to Him...access to the King of Kings...

But not just politically or as an invited guest...but as His beloved...His radiant bride...dressed in a wedding gown prepared without spot or blemish because of what we just celebrated this Sunday in our Resurrection worship...
  How can it be....oh, how can it be...that we who believe in Jesus ARE royalty...But  on the other hand...those of you who believe and belong to Him...

...can't you sense it?..."that" day approaching?...

  As women have we not pretended and daydreamed of what is most beautiful?  As men what is most excellent,strong, and victorious?  I see this in my children.  In my two daughters..."Mommy am I beautiful?  Does this make me look like a princess?"   I see it in my four sons as they pick up sticks and stalk around the backyard guarding and prevailing over the kingdom of dandelions and springtime green. Oh,my....it makes me want to live differently in the mundane moments and more heroically in the challenging times...to know what I have been invited into...
...to understand what is coming...
That, as C.S. Lewis so aptly proclaims it in His Narnia series,
surely "Aslan is on the move"...


Blessings Precious Friends,
Gillian

* (verse quotes from Ecclesiastes 3)

Below here I have placed a gift for you. :)  A look into a wonderful book.
Very rarely do I read a book and say that it has changed my life..
One Thousand Gifts has broadened my heart and has made me more in tune to the voice of Christ.  God has used it to make Joy reign again in my heart through the practice and worship of thankfulness and awareness of His Presence in all aspects of daily life.  I wish I could send out copies to everyone I know and love. This is a worthy read!!
Another bit of "beautiful" to lift up my heart in thanks to God today...



One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, Excerpt

Whoa!! Stepping out into the ravine? Tucker journey update...

Did you know that when Abraham was called by God out of his family's land, he ended up traveling 1,200 miles ON FOOT to the promised land???

And then...
This "father of nations" spent the rest of his days living in tents--never again did he live over a solid foundation of a home.


That makes 550 miles to Kansas City in a large U-Haul truck and a loaded -down Suburban sound REALLY "cushie" :).

It actually makes our consideration-- in a family meeting the other night with Ashley and Graham-- (due to financial reasons) of fitting our family into a 2 bedroom apartment for the next season sound pretty good too!--But you can stop holding your breath--the apartment management companies would not allow our number of people due to fire codes!! Bummer!! :) That was pretty wild to figure out until we were told no. And, life away from stuff to fuss with seemed rather freeing for a moment too!!

SOoooo the question of late has been somewhat like, "When God has called you to something quite incredible-- when you have heard His voice and KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW that He is saying, GO!!!!--How 'low' can you go?--How little could you live with or on? or what is so precious to you that you could not live without it or leave it behind?"

This is a VERY easy question for me to answer when we are talking about OTHER people's things. It was exceedingly easy in our family meeting as Graham was instructed that Bella the Python was a pocession that was not right for life in smaller digs!!--or at least sharing bedroom space with my babies or me! :)!!!

Simple, huh?

But when I saw the look in Graham's eye...

...and then, I "got" the same feeling the next day, as I began to fit our pocessions into a space that will be a fourth to a third the size of what we are used to now...

How are you doing packing away YOUR pretties, Gillian?

--I must say--my heart was deceptive,fleshy, and tantrumy--

It was not a pretty site--

Mommy clutching onto my clipboard with cartoon electricity coming out of my hair and dying to that Martha side (I'm refering to the one on T.V. --Ms. Stewart-- not the Biblical one--or maybe there is a sad comparison here!!for my HEART and SPIRIT DO call out to be a 'Mary'--NOT a Martha!!)

Until...

"Gillian, who do you say that I am?"
"Gillian, do you Trust me?"

God pressed on my heart yet again ...and all the fullness of Himself flooded my heart...I had to confess my ugly attitude to my kiddos and with our circumstances and kneel in the middle of our boxes and again make my testimony, "Here I am, God...I love you...I adore you...YOU are my life...send me into the center of your will...not only WHEREever it is but WHATever it is!! ....WHAT a journey we are about to embark on!! Bring on the packing tape and get on with the Craiglistings!!

I actually believe that God is a very generous Father who has amazing plans for His children--He does not leave the righteous forsaken--I proclaim without doubts that as our story unfolds our life in Him will be a testimony,a "proof" of how He loves to complete what He calls us to--and what provision and glories he has for His children that not only hear His voice but follow it.

And we already have praise reports about this as we step into the first part of our call to a new ministry, land, and life:

Two fridays ago, we received a call OUT of the BLUE--a beautiful,Godly family offered to rent our current home until we sell it--what a gift!!

The conversation started out with this phrase, "Hi, Gillian this is J., this is going to be a very unusual conversation." Immediately my ears and heart were pricked--God often calls us to things that are seemingly impossible and absolutely illogical so that He'll get all the credit and glory--"very unusual" sounded very "usual" kingdom-wise. :)

WELL!! the blessing was MUCH more than timing or finance or detail for as we sat in our living room with this PRECIOUS couple and their sweet family they told our story of calling--I mean, it was not the exact story--but EVERY other element was there.

This husband called to be a preacher,

mine called to be a pastor.

They do not know what the next step is except that the only word God has for sure given them is , "Stay"--the only word we have been given is, "GO".

They shared encouraging verses that were "our" verses.

And as S. answered Richard's question of "tell me how you KNOW that God has called you to this next step"--his answer was WORD for WORD what Richard says each time he speaks about this calling and the other times God has brought us on a journey.

"You know you are called when nothing else works and this is the ONLY thing you can do."

We laughed--probably too loud for where we were in this tender conversation--and almost fell out of our chairs--again--It was WORD for WORD what Richard says about calling because of his growth in Jesus. Sometimes God just talks out loud--and gives ALOT of repetition--we must be need of this teaching/parenting style of encouragement for He is literally hedging us in with Word to us about journey, will, following Him, continuing to press into seemingly blank areas so that He can reveal the next step of His will to us...

And then it was Richard's turn to answer the question...
And I have to tell you that he acted this out in our living room as he shared it. :)!!

One of Richard's favorite movies is "Indiana and the Temple of Doom".
Yeah, we were teens in the eighties!!

There is this one scene of a deep and wide ravine--Indiana is being pursued--he is going through a set of "tests" in this ancient area that reveal the way to treasure --each one with a biblical allusion (I loved that part of the movie too!)--at this ravine, he starts sweating and shaking--what is he to do...he looks down--the movie prop rock bounces all the Waaaay down to the depths--we hear its descent...--then he stands up- caaaarefully as he picks up his foot and mumbles, "Of course, the walk of Faith" He puts his foot down into...nothingness...and is jolted still--a stone step has appeared and is holding him up--of course the bad guys are showing up at this point too and Indiana (Harrison Ford) has to leap continually into the nothingness of the ravine as step after step appears only AFTER he has set his feet down. This is one of Richard's favorite pictures of faith--and you gotta see him acting it out for our friends in our livingroom!! No matter what the "test" or the "ravine" or the circumstance--God IS there and I believe God our Father is pleased with our faith that, knowing He is there,does NOT shrink back but banks our life on this and step out into what we cannot see. "Faith is EVIDENCE of what we cannot see" after all...

What is He calling your heart to?

Do you have a ravine in front of you?

We do.

I plan to keep stepping out and letting our Father catch us.

Even this morning we asked Him in tears for Faith that will walk forward into what we do not see.

...And away from those familiar banks...


We had a precious missionary mom in my home this week--a brand new friend who is being called by God with her husband to FRANKLIN in a very dramatic and unique way--God has sent an unusual amount of precious people (that I previously did not have a close relationship with) TO MY DOOR and TO MY PHONE over the past weeks--it has been mind-boggling how sweet He is and how much He is NOT going to let us withdraw from this calling!! B. sat on my livingroom sofa and I knew that she was speaking God's words to me when she said, "All my family lives in ---. This has been heart-breaking to even think of being apart from them--but how could I NOT? I really believe that, now, in this season, God is giving out special assignments to those that are seeking Him out in intercession--This is a really special time to listen to Him. He is getting His people ready--I am seeing so many example of this--moving those who are listening and obeying into position for where they will be most effective for the Great Global Harvest to come before He comes back."

So the rest of our week? What will it hold?

We can't see it yet. :) But we do know we will be hugging precious necks of those we have loved in the Nashville area for almost 20 years...

And crying sweet tears of love.

Thanking God for all He's done here and praising HIm in wonder for what He is bringing us to...

Squeezing my mom and dad REALLY tightly--this part of the call is achy--it literally hurts inside--

We will be finding little boys up to their necks in empty boxes

And catching them being pretty naughty--they think I've pack all the boundaries and rules in our boxes for some reason!!

Teens who are packing up a storm--so excited to grow and celebrate, and serve Jesus in their next school and ministry--you should hear their excitement and JOY!!

Ashley's guitar in packing breaks

Phrases like, "Man!! This room is full of boxes--its like BOXLAND in here!!--lets hideout!!"--from Anders and Jack

When are we going already?--Bruik

"I was made for for LOooooove."--Ava singing

Ashley--our word girl in the midst of the newprint for packing--"Its a win-win situation you get to pack up AND read the comics!!"

EVERYONE ELSE--"Hurry up, Ashley!"

Bella the Ball Python (I think I just like to type her name for effect!)
on her way to another abode--Graham found a buyer!! Mama's pretty happy about this!!

A thousand million last minute details...

If you can help us load the truck on Wednesday give us a shout!!--We are looking for helpers!!

But... we ain't walkin' 1,200 miles!--this isn't so bad!--Let's load er up and go already!!


How lovely is your dwelling place,

O Lord Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints,

for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and my flesh cry out

for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young—

a place near your altar,

O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house;

they are ever praising you. Selah

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,

they make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,

till each appears before God in Zion.

Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;

listen to me, O God of Jacob. Selah

Look upon our shield, O God;

look with favor on your anointed one.

Better is one day in your courts

than a thousand elsewhere;

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor;

no good thing does he withhold

from those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord Almighty,

blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Psalm 84

Love, Gillian

Grace Times Five :)

Yes, this only lasted one night, until we had to separate them--but how cute are they?!


Sorry Graham, someone in the family has to bunk on the palate on the floor--it will make for a great family story someday though, right? Thanks for the sacrefice!


Not enough space for all? Jack was in heaven to get to bunk in with Mom and Dad for 4 whole nights--snuggle monster that he is!

Ashley and Anderson snuggling late one night




BRRRRR. it was COLD in Kansas City but we had packed a tub of cold stuff!! The kiddos got to have lots of snowball fights and got to do some AWESOME sledding too!!

Hello, friends!----The end of 09 and the beginning of 10---- or do you say, twenty ten? ----we have not received a clear answer on what to call this new decade!----but regardless the past few weeks have been very special in the Tucker family~~as we hope it was for you as well~~

We had another time of miracles among our family here just a few days ago. Richard and I had been led to go to Kansas City to be part of a worship/prayer/equipping conference there, called One Thing. It was put on by the International House of Prayer in KC. I just want to share an excerpt I recently wrote to a leader of that ministry...

"Recently we were prompted to head up to the One Thing conference in thankful response to all God has been doing via IHOP's ministry here. As we backed out of the driveway--packed to the gills in our Suburban with 6 of our 8 children, the check engine light went on! After a disappointing diagnostic hours later, we were told that it would take 555 dollars to fix our car. We got very quiet and before Richard and I discussed what to do next we each went to a different nook of the shop--me behind a pile of Firestone tires and Richard staring out of the advertisements on the glass front window of the Firestone store. The Lord's message to us was different than the mechanic. He spoke something else, "Go anyway" individually to each of our hearts, and , "I'm up to something big in your lives with this trip--you could miss out on it if you do not go". Next, he told Richard to lay hands on the car and then to drive 55 miles an hour up 550 miles to KC. (do you notice all the 5's?--this is God's # of grace) We obeyed--with much joy and anticipation--and had a very SCENIC trip on our slow drive up to KC. Not too long into our obedience, God turned off the check engine light--we did not see it for the remainder of the trip!
We have been living a missionary lifestyle of service and intercession here in Franklin and as we arrived in KC, we tried to purchase an item and found out that our TN bank account was completely depleted several large payments at home had hit our account early and all at once --now, at the beginning of the trip-- we only had enough for our hotel and no money to get back home.--We thanked God for a Breckfast bar at the Hampton hotel that provided what we call-"Breckfast and breckfast and breckfast" for each of our meals in KC! :) HEE!! (And for His grace on our children who did not complain once about sausage egg biscuits and muffins for dinner)! Next, as only God can do, He provided provision miracle after provision miracle,caused answers to prayers that have been prayed for 18 years, quite beautifully and right along with His timing of how He has so been on the move for our hearts and His power in our lives lately commissioned us for service as intercessionary missionaries, and spoke prophetic Word into us in the prayer room--the trip became a pilgrimage of sorts--it definitely was the trip of our lives!!"
God's miracles in our family were not just financial and protection over us physically and over our car (alot of miracles involving that car recently, huh?). The movement from the Lord that caused us great thankfulness and awe was being encountered powerfully by His loving,burning heart. Also, watching Him encounter our children. One special morning we asked for prayer from some intercessory missionaries who serve in the healing/prayer room at the International House of Prayer's Mission base--three incredibly dear people laid hands on our family and on Richard and I and then on our children as individuals--we heard MUCH encouragement and prophecy over each person in this time but most incredibly were the moments as they prayed over our little Ava. As they laid hands gently on her and quietly prayed for her the WEIGHTY presence of the Lord entered the room--I can't describe it well-- but we strongly experienced the presence of the Lord--it was peace and overwhelm at once. Ava's little body began shaking under the presence of the Lord--His Spirit was manifesting His glory on our little girl!!--this was happening while prophecy about her journey before the Lord, her giftings and callings were being prayed over her and pulled forth out of her as well --those minutes of prayer could have been days or years for we got lost in the Joy of His presence...as He danced openly over our little songbird
--we were all overcome with the JOY of the Lord and laughter bubbled up as well as many tears--it was an utterly beautiful experience among MANY others over the course of our trip and related to His movement in our family lately--We had seen other adults come under the influence of the Holy Spirit but to watch Him awaken our little girl was a blessing beyond measure. She is so pure before Him that her open heart was easy and accessible for Him to pour into--I want Ava to be my model before the Lord--to be so childlike and simple and receiving before Him that He can mightily move in and through my frame--to pour in at Will whenever He so desires. And this is how I will be pushing in to His presence in this new year. God is REAL--His Spirit walks among us and wants to encounter us--just as He did in the past in the OT. and more--just like He did through the apostles and in Acts--He's as fresh and willing to move in us and through us and with us in power today as in any other time in history--time and time again this week we realized and experience His love among us. Among wonderful praise, encountering prayer, we also witnessed college age students, 20,000 of them reaching toward the pursuit of God. They were precious "kids"--full of the Spirit of Christ--engaging others, bibles were out instead of blackberries--there was hardly a text message in sight--a generation unplugged from the world's draw and charged up with the love for Christ and taking that love in vast acts of justice to His world. We did not hear a cross word among this large crowd for 4 days and joyed in overhearing young people's conversations in which they spoke of WHO they wanted to be in God (first commandment) and how that fueled their love for His Word and His world. We witnessed people taking off their glasses and taking off their casts to reveal healed arms, several crooked backs were made straight and several legs even GREW several inches to even out bodies--Christ loves to make us whole--that's why He went to the cross for us--and His power from the cross's payment for us was so powerfully moving among a receiving worshiping people WOW...I believe this is what Christ's body should appropriately look like and how it should operate. And I will be encouraging His body to take place before Him in these ways in the upcoming seasons of my life--you included, with much tenderness and love to you, my bloggy friends!!
Stay tuned for other movement of our family in Him and please keep us and calling in Him in your prayers.
Blessings in these first days of 2010!
Love, Gillian

Mommy, is it time to go home yet?

Many do not know this piece of information about the American Christian Church's response to the orphan crisis.

30% of Christians say they have considered adoption.

1% actually adopt.

Dear "30%", I write to you in love today. Is the Holy Spirit stirring your heart? Has He given you a precious window of response to Him? Respond. Before its too late. Respond before He allows you heart to be hardened. Before you start believing and saying things, like "well, nows not the right time anyway--how complicated this would make things?"or," How could our family take this on in 'these times'? "The poor, The orphan who are they really?" or, "Didn't Jesus say that the poor will always be with us?" (my least favorite!-a misquote of Deuteronomy 15:11 and Jesus' use of it with the woman with the costly perfume--but that's any entry to come soon...),"we just can't afford it", "People wouldn't understand", "People,people, people...", "Our family wouldn't get it--let me take care of smoothing feelings first.", "Our family photo would look really different on the Christmas card" "Does God really speak to me?","Those kids are so far away","It could (gasp!) bring sacrifice to our children--we may have to live sacrificially financially, time-wise, or in other ways", "what if they do not bond to me?", "what if this breaks my heart?","could my children share me with another child?","we should wait until things are smoother--maybe when the job 'settles' or the kids are older","what if we get sick?", "what if this tires us out?", "but I'm really following Him right now--would He call me to this too?","I'll lose my decorating,or gardening, or vacation, or latte,or this season's clothing,or insert your favorite focus here_________fund in our budgeting--could I REALLY live without that?" "We just won't fit in...", "those people who adopt have some need to 'collect' children how selfish THEY are!--they just can't stop!", or some more of my least favorites, "we just wouldn't be as peaceful a family anymore--it would create ripples here." and "I really don't know how we would do it anyway--my heart really could only love my own children -- that's who I am really responsible for...", "what DOES the Word really say about orphans?--I just haven't been taught that this is MY problem--that I am responsible--leave me alone nagging feeling that won't go away!" -- be careful--it just may go away...
And out of love for you, precious child, I pray that if you are being stirred, that you will honestly converse with God about all or any of these questions--also called--EXCUSES.-- He gives us windows of time to obey Him. And as you deliberate--143 million -- a nation of children-- are waiting and growing and dying. The same God who we call, Father, is their champion. He rises to see to their protection--He cares for them and sets His angels charge over them. They are each as precious to Him as the cherubic faces tucked into our beds upstairs. "Mommy, can I have a glass of water? "squeaks a precious, familiar voice, so dear to our heart, and we run with delight to serve these children. "Mommy can I go home now?" and we swing hands on the walk home. Perhaps God has a child for you, which He has planned since the beginning of the world. Perhaps He is whispering, maybe shouting to your heart? and a little one with perhaps different eyes or a song in their lovely voice is calling out your name at night. He doesn't get tucked in. She really needs a cup of water. He is lost and needs to be swooped up into a Daddy's strong embrace. Remember the story of Samuel? The correct response to God's voice, His calling is, "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening." Ask, Answer,Obey--if it is "today" beware of the hardened heart--it will lie to you and speak such smooth words to you--it will assure you you are making the most prudent and best decisions...that you can always revisit this later, when He calls again...Will He?

Not my Words but His: " Give heed to my reproof; behold, I will pour out my thoughts to you; I will make my words known to you...But he who listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of evil." Proverbs 1:23&33 (read this passage it is very clear about listening to God's voice and His response to our listening or lack of)

This may not be your message above. Adoption is a specific calling to a unique child. What is clear in scripture is that we all are to care about, and visit the orphan, and relieve their needs. Another misthought is the idea that if we just have beds in our home,extra food and clothing or stuff or an extra bedroom or budget that this is our ticket to being an adoptive parent. NO. Not so. I love in Hebrews how God, when He speaks of our adoption as sons says that He is RAISING up many as sons. Some may not be called to do the RAISING up that these children need. For it is not just placing food in their mouths and placing them in a "safe" spot in front of Dora the Explorer. NO! They need to be discipled and raised up in the fullest of ways and we need to stop guilt-tripping the "rich"--most of us in the Western world ARE rich compared to the world.-- We do not want to force children into places where they are not being called to be raised up with full rights and privileges as sons. We don't just feed or clothe our own children but teach them and hug them and sing with them and counsel them--it is a full-time,life-long occupation, isn't it?


Adoption comes from the Greek word meaning "the placing of a son". It is taking a person into the family as a son and giving him all the privileges of a natural son. Some of us need to stop judging other by the number of their bedroom count or the brand of their clothing or car and just let them listen to God's specific call for them to help His orphaned children.

Some of you may be the "senders" and God may be as powerfully speaking to you about giving resource to orphanages, giving to adoption agencies, or taking an family who has an adoptive heart under your wing and caring for their financial needs. LISTEN. He may be sharing shocking ideas with you that may be sacrificial as well. REMEMBER the parable of that Jesus told of a man who sold everything to go purchase a field? Well he did just that. And guess what he knew? The field contained a treasure, a pearl of great price. He understood that pearl was worth far more than the processions in his hand and what they presently were affording him. He sold it, ALL. He gained EVERYTHING. This is a picture of living in the kingdom of God.

The early Christians got this. They understood this far better then us. In Acts it speaks of how they shared everything. And elsewhere, it is written that God's heart is not that some would have much and other's nothing but that we would understand that as followers of Christ our resource should be distributed equally among us so that need is taken care of among the believers and so that the poor are well taken care of. Ouch, that hurts. But our processions really aren't ours--they all come from our Father (James 1). I bet I'm stomping on your toes but I'm a really poor dancer when it comes to preserving people's false beliefs and feelings over what is Truth and what knowledge really will bring LIFE to your life.

You need to know how desperate your brothers and sisters who have been called to adoption are for your financial help. They need much more than what you have been giving them so far--a pat on the back and a "I so admire what you are doing. I certainly couldn't do this myself! I'm not called to it." Sometimes fundraising efforts so drain them of focus and energy that by the time they reach their children, they have not had any time to prepare their hearts and souls and family structures --to dig deep and get shored up for the real push--the raising up of a son or daughter. The paperwork and legalese is enough to label it a full-time job and in addition they are frantically raising redemption costs --some of which would be a third or much more of their family's take home salary. This may not be the same proportion for you. Or maybe it would but God is calling you to be the financial wagon to carry a child home. Let me tell you brothers and sisters--we need much more than the wagons we have now--lets get a TRAIN going!! I know the resources are out there--to take care of one, two, more even a family a year for some of you. I see the vacations, the new pool or car,the cutest outfits,the gorgeous home decorations--could just one of these things be traded for lives? ORPHANS ARE OUR FATHER'S CHILDREN SO THEY ARE ALREADY IN OUR FAMILY. EACH ORPHAN YOU SEE REALLY DOES BELONG TO YOU. THEY DO NOT JUST BELONG TO "THE CALLED". YOU DO HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO THEM. FIND OUT WHAT IT IS.

Have any of you seen Schindler's List? Well, it is NOT an easy movie to watch in the least. There is one scene in that movie that haunted me. It brought me in some ways to the decision to adopt and to keep the orphan before my heart. It is the end of the war and of the Nazi occupation. The precious Jewish people that Schindler has saved--by redemption money costs--are all grouped around him at a train station. He is saying goodbye. They are saying thank you. As he looks over them--just hundreds of souls grouped around him, he pats his luxury car. and says something like, "This could have been 20 lives." and he reaches into his coat for his watch and pulls it out , "and this 10 lives" by this time he is collapsing in grief, he spots his lapel pin, pinned over his heart and takes it off and cradles it, "this... 2 lives". "I could have done so much more..." Perhaps you are generous, I'm sure you are. But could God be calling you to more--a new level of generosity that could be ...shocking...that could buy a pearl...save lives? Perhaps the "Samuel...Samuel...?" is being whispered or shouted into your ears as well. He who has ears to hear, let him hear...Obey Him while it is still, "today"...

"Oh that today you would hearken to His voice!
Harden not your hearts, as at Mer i -bah
as on the day at Mas sah in the wilderness" Psalm 95:7b&8

"Light rises in the darkness for the upright;
the Lord is gracious, merciful,
and righteous,
It is well with the man who deals generously and lends,
who conducts his affairs with justice.
For the righteous will never be moved;'he will be remembered for ever.
He is not afraid of evil tidings;
his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is steady, he will not be afraid,
until he sees his desire on his adversaries.
He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor;" Psalm 112:4-9


Love, Gillian

From my Ethiopian Journal -- April 26th, 2007--We arrive

...As we walked through security at Nashville Airport, I felt free -- that leaping calf freedom that is promised in the Word that seemed so far away during the days of lost refferals and losing or precious Joshua (to a mid-pregnancy miscarriage) --years of waiting and growing and watching those black baby calves leap in the farmer's field near our home--would I ever again? The day of travel, April 26th, was Joshua's due date -- 4 years old on that day--how precious this was to my Mother's heart that God included our precious glory baby in the celebration of today...Now, on the plane...these babies are so beautiful!!!And so are the stewardesses and the older women even -- Wow! what a gorgeous people group. Of course the babies are making me yearn to hold little legs and pet/stroke soft curly hair, to look into my own set of brown eyes...

Ethiopia--from the moment we stepped out of the airport into the bright sunlight, bleached white clouds, smelled the sweet air and took in the tall, rounded mountains, I felt--like a college girl arriving home for the first semester break--or stepping into a movie after reading the book--or shaking someone's hand that I had only previously spoken to on the phone.

Africa--in 3D was ALL I knew it would be--its like God gave me a hunger for it--prewired me with the sensations of it---before I even stepped foot here--I missed it. Strange that we did not feel strange on the plane of hundreds from another place--but it all felt so --right. Richard and I kept exchanging grins and squeezing each others' hands--he was in the very same place--so incredible to walk this together...

The Ethiopian people are truly beautiful with their fine features and lovely figures. White beauty pales (quite literally!!) in comparison!! But what is more exquisite is the quality and figure of their hearts. They have a quiet,gentle almost tender warmth about them. They walk with ease, length of stride and dignity. We did not hear one cross word on the airplane or as we went through customs--unimaginable in my reved up land!!

Girmanchew -- an Ethiopian national who used to work for the African UN and now America World Adoption Agency -- waited for us a we deplaned--he was waiting behind a large group of families waiting for their extended families peacefully--restful in their expectancy. As each traveller made it through the mechanical trays and tracks of customs and gathered and bundled themselves back up, they pushed through doors at the bottom of a wall of glass. There they were enfolded into family groups. Bundles relieved, arms wrapped around, the family lingered and just enjoyed being together--the arms remained on the shoulder--there is much affection here--no one rushed off or away like we do in America , where the fetching of bags can feel like a crazy race on one of those shows on T.V.--"O.K. (pant,pant, scan, scan, dodge around) lets get your bags (hug, pat, pat) now let's get to the car--I'm on the meter in the parking garage or double parked ;) "You got the bags?"

We had our own welcoming party. Albeit a party of one--it was a moment and a face we had already anticipated for so long..

Girmanchew was camouflaged in the vast group of national families, yet as we took off our shoes and deposited our suitcases on the customs' conveyor belt, we knew he was near. We gathered our mass of suitcases, stroller "balanced" on the top like the umbrella and little fish bowl in The Cat in the Hat illustrations, piled around various other bags and hopped around, getting our shoes back on, then we huddled back together with arms draped over and around the top of mounds of international trappings, pushing and guiding them --wobbling -- out the glass wall into...African sunlight--Oh , my! Arrived!! We made a path tentatively through the nationals' warm greetings and then, off to the left--set back about 3 rows --there was our anchor man--Girmanchew.

Dressed in dark jeans jacket with a relaxed smile and a sign that read, "America World, Tucker Family." He extended his hand in a universal gesture of hello and welcome and honor--a warm handshake. He and our driver, Zadu took our bags under their command and pushed us out of the crowd into the expanse of parking lot that melded into a grand horizon of ancient green mountains--dome shaped--sleeping under an African Blue sky. Bright white clouds sailed over-head--fat, pregnant with moisture. Mounding, glorious clouds...

"The humble will be filled with fresh joy from the Lord. ((I believe it--stand on it))
The poor will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel. ((I'm impoverished without Him --without resource,strength, direction,or holiness))

"No longer will Jacob ((Gillian)) hang his head in shame, no longer gaunt and pale with waiting,
For he's going to see his children,
my personal gift to him--lots of children ((and answers to hard questions))
and those children will honor me by leading Godly lives. In holy worship they'll honor the Holy one of Jacob and stand in holy awe of the God of Israel.
Those who got off-track will get back on-track, and complainers and whiners learn gratitude."

From Isaiah 29 Parenthesis are my response...

Still, Before you,
yields glory,
uncovers true joy.

Love, Gillian

Good News--according to a very special woman--

I answered him," when you pocess something really good you wish your friends to share it with you. Now, I think that Christ is the best thing in the world and I would like all men to know Him and love Him as I do. But faith in Christ is a gift of God, who gives it to whom He likes.

words from Mother Theresa from the book, My Life for the Poor--a must read!!


The Simplicity of It...

"This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptence (and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe." I Timothy 4:9

Love, Gillian