One Thing Only...

The Story of the Apple and the Rose

2012-01-28T12:59:00.000-08:00

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

(Ephesians 2:10)

Hello, my friend.

I was looking down the lane for you today.

Come in, come in....:)

I've just been dreaming of gardening...of an English Cottage...with a rose bush...and an Apple Tree growing there...and I have saved a little story for you...

But, this little story for us today is worthy of a gentle little sit down. So, I'll be glad to get you a little tea...

or some coffee perhaps?

While we sit down to this little video together...my beloved friend :) You are WELCOME here. Please settle in and enjoy this sweet parable just for YOU.

My Precious friend, if you have EVER compared yourself to another (like me), this sweet story is for you. You are of immeasurable worth, truly. There is NO other creation on this Earth like YOU.

This may take a moment to load (perhaps a minute)...another scone perhaps while we wait? (this video played much more smoothly on my computer in full screen mode)

(This young man is from the Bible School at our ministry here in Kansas City ~ so many hearts in love with Jesus in the young people around us. ~ There's only one thing more beautiful than a young heart in love with Jesus--that would be, an old,old heart in love with Jesus--is there anything more exquisite? ♥ )

And...Looking across the table, I see you today and ask,

"What kind of a creation are you today?"

A Rose?

An Apple?

A Bird?

I was driving one of Graham's teenage friends home the other day and as we were spying out the window for possible deer in his neighborhood he shared that this is the animal that has always been a reminder of how God made him ~ jumping high over obstacles ~ running free...

How about you?

Love to you...the only one who is...YOU, today. I am So glad God had you in His heart to create YOU...before the foundations of the world. YOU are Made by the Worthy one...and this brings great and glorious worth to your life. YOUR life is a unique gift to His world and He has love from His heart Just for you.

Be so Blessed Today, My Dear Friend,

Love, Gillian

The Favorite Hour

2012-01-26T16:15:00.000-08:00

Not an unusual day. But I make a promise to my almost 11 year old. After schoolwork we'll try out those binoculars from Christmas.

The day whirls by for him and for me and after schoolwork and play practice and a special drink date at Sonic with sister Ashley you might not think the boy NEEDED anything extra...his cup was full...his day looked complete. Even as he drank a huge Coke with Ashley he was thankful and said, maybe now I won't need to go out with Mom.

But he remembered the promise.
And so did I.

They head back with stories of the day and I exchange ours and he was surprised when I suggest for him to get his coat back on for we are goin' on our nature date.

"REALLY?" He smiles BIG.

"You don't need to Mom. I'm o.k."

{But would I be o.k. without YOU,son? ~ Be o.k. letting you go today?}

We each were not needy but needed to fill our promise to one another.

We head into the smaller car and I feel my Mama's heart begin to climb, sitting next to this one, looking so big and innocent in his big jacket, binoculars around his neck.

He looks over at me kinda shy like.

"Mom, don't tell the boys. I don't want them to feel bad."

I don't understand I tell him.

"Don't tell the boys that I am so special or something. They might feel bad that I get to do so much great stuff."

My feelings catch. Oh, my baby...in a large family this usually is not an issue!...I was just glad to have a moment to shower on you...and you felt like a favorite one...Don't FORGET Mama..these moments mean more than you could EVER know.

{Pssst...they EACH are my favorite ones!!}

We take a SIMPLE 5 minute drive. We have to get back in an hour to cook dinner for eight...but he owns my heart for this hour...

There is a business complex with a pond...near a bridge we have watched being built near our home...we pull in the parking lot and deliberate about which spot and where and what to bring or leave on our journey down around the pond...

I am getting motherly and he shouts out, "COME ON, MOM!!!!" and he pulls my arm so that our arms are locked and we are heading down at a run to the pond.

My buddy and I share the time God has made...and the beauty

And WHO said that boys were only all about ugly things and tails and such?
When I see life though this set of eyes... All SORT of beauty is reflected back to me.

Oh, my precious son...you reflect the beauty of the world back to me...how can I have amnesia to the beauty before me in my days?...but behold...here it is...what we passed by on so many errands and in our to and fro..And here WE are, my little friend...

Throwing rocks...and finding a surprise under the ice...

Watch out!! Sharks!!

And, {Be Still my Heart} he says, "Well, I guess that's just a part of adventure."

He actually blew into his wet shoe to 'warm it up' next!!!

Next, we look at ALL the differences in pond ice, hiking all around the pond and make it to the bridge to get all blown around by icy wind. He takes my hand {protectively!} as we cross the street...and we walk down the bridge sidewalk silly and slow while the world {most likely my neighbors and friends} past us by...headlights turning on...a truck beeps hello...we can't look back...we are on a journey...just us in the world...

We had to go in an hours' time and it was Anderson who says, "Awesome, MOM! Should we be getting back?" Like he is awakening to remembrance of other promises to those back home... We run back, over the road, down an embankment, and around the pond to the car, laughing and acting out, acting like 11 year olds :). Real JOY was found in one hour's time.

Taking time for the great rewards of the little moments. Digging in for them... finding LASTing treasures!!

Love, Gillian

How do you Measure it All?

2012-01-25T08:45:00.000-08:00

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

In the midst of the dishes and the commute to work,
Or on a hilltop gazing at the stars.
In the fray of the busy and the strain of the frazzle...
On the jogging trail in an early morning's run.
In the tears and the laughter,
And at the bottom of the laundry pile.
In highest accolades,
And hidden in lonely,dustiness.
In the striving and the resting,
In our hearts desires and dreams,
And in our entertainments.
In our giftings and our failures,
Before our family and in our friendships.
In what we build up and choose to tear down.
In together times,
And in the Secret Place.
In one Life's footprint on this blue world,
Going around and around SO fast.
There is a question that follows us into every moment and place.
What is the Measure of Man?
It is simple but vital questions to answer,
"Where was your gaze?"
"To Whom did you give your Heart?"
"Did you KNOW the One Who MADE Love?"
And, "Did you Learn to Love from Him?"

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

The measure of a man is the measure of his heart
The measure of a man is the measure of his love
[x2]

You don't measure me like man may see
You're looking at my heart, the core of me
Your eyes of fire see differently
Keep me in the gaze of love

The measure of a man is the measure of his heart
The measure of a man is the measure of his love
[x2]

When it's all been said, when it's all been done
When the race is run, well it all comes down to love

Did you learn to love? That's what You will ask of me
Did you learn to love? Not about my ministry
Did you learn to love? Not about my money
Did you learn to love? Did you learn to love?

[Read more: http://artists.letssingit.com/misty-edwards-lyrics-measure-of-a-man-feat-david-brymer]

Love, Gillian

Incredibly Cute Truth

2012-01-24T12:39:00.000-08:00

I believe this pleases Jesus' heart SO much!
A tiny little role model for us all!! ~ You GO, Baby!!! ~ Shine,Baby,Shine!!!!

"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

“See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven." (Matthew 18:2,3, and 10)

I am a REAL Bunny ...and so is she...

2012-01-23T13:12:00.000-08:00

Oh, little Velveteen Rabbit...its not like I'm mad at you or anything...but...living your story is heavy sometimes...I don't want another one...I'm just saying,

"Ouch, it HURTs to be a bunny."

And I hope I do not offend you when I let you know that I have decided that I am not going to take your definition any more as a statement for my life as an adoptive mommy.

Did you not say,

"Real isn't how you are Made, It is a thing that happens to you."?????

There, I SAID it.

I AIN'T REAL cause of my difficult circumstances

or in the moment that the beloved child whispers it in my ear.

What "happens" to me does not make me.

I am not a product of the days events --be they pleasant or hard, or of my thoughts and expectations, or of fleeting feelings from one day to the next.

I am not what the other "bunnies" say I am

or who I am in those little eyes...

Or What I sometimes see when I look in the mirror on an especially hard day...

You didn't get it completely ,Velveteen Rabbit---although I just love you so...

Cause I find my Wisdom in another book...in another story...of a young, perfect KING who came from a far off heavenly land...He left His Father's house...to come and find this ole bunny...to find me in the garden...all dishelved and burnt on the rubbish heap...He found me in my helpless failings...and while I was quite lifeless and stuffed with sawdust and other junk...

He stooped down to make me REAL..

to BREATHE REAL Life into me

and He tells me...He has begun to show me that...

Oh, His promises are much GREATER than those nursery promises little rabbit...

I am alive, I am REAL because of ONE who burns with Life and Hope on my insides.

I am a REAL Bunny.

And here is a secret my gentle little friend,

Your story does not end with becoming a real bunny.

REAL BUNNYS Hurt.

And there is a Bunny Shepherd who has ointment for our wounds.

Now you will know thirst and hunger...

But there is the gardener in the midst of the bunnies who IS the living water AND the Bread that brings life...

You will have an awareness of dangers...you will have to be a little warrior

but He will cover you with His great big shield, and under it you will find security and victory.

for Real Bunnies still have fire to go through...beyond the bonfire of the toy pile...

But it is REFINING fire.

And it really is O.K.

For once this type of grooming session is over, and I have been through so many lately little rabbit,

You will find that "toy fur" burnt off to reveal...not a Real "me" but "Christ IN me...the HOPE of Glory".

Behold, the new WILL come, little bunny...

My Story

O.K....Here is my very real story from last week. I want you to to have this view so that you may know a bit more how to love and support adoptive moms. Perhaps know how to more fully love an adoptive child? And if you are "stuck" in suffering...that Jesus is your answer to. There IS hope for you, my friend..

First, the REAL High

We hit the highs and the lows here at the Tucker house last week. We celebrated an 11th birthday, my husband experienced a wonderful first week of continued training for ministry, and my children all had an unusual blessing of encountering God at school all week in their assembly times...God was especially present and visited the kids with much power and joy...true revival broke out this week among the students. The joyful worship rocked their building and broke out of the assembly time so that for three days, the schedule of classes were pushed back as the kids experience the fresh presence of God in Worship,prayer, and in God's movement on them in restoration and in healings. More, Lord! I love that He broke this out among children--it has been so powerful!!

There were kids that were delivered of self-hatred. There were kids that wept over love for God. There was prayer for our city, prayer for our nation. Adoration, Worship. They prayed over each other for hours. Joy came. So did travailing prayer. These kids have been crying out for God to visit them. He came.

[Our Ashley and friends this week]

This is what "revival" looks like. and He started with the children--how like Jesus who put children before Him and instructed us to look like them!

Genuine revival has Christ walking within it. "The Hope of Glory" changes our lives...He truly does. The kids all of them--carried this home and our home was been so full of the tenderness of the Holy Spirit's love. It was one of those weeks, so full of glory that it takes your breath away...

To add, the children's school was not the only place where God was blessing His people in this way last week. As Richard came home from his Bible classes and from the prayer room at International House of Prayer the SAME wave of God's presence and love was moving in his classes and in the prayer room. All classes were cancelled so that they could just move into a solemn assembly and worshiped with expectancy.

There was MUCH JOY on the mission's base. Healing was a part of God's strong presence in our midst. Richard was blessed with actually seeing God's power move in love in this way. On Saturday, Richard was ministering at our Saturday service. He was laying hands on and praying for anyone who had a need. There was a man who had a condition with his hands that he had had for over ten years, it made his hands gnarled and curled up with pain. As Richard prayed for him, the man's hands began to straighten! The two men joyfully continued on asking for Jesus' healing until Richard watched the man's hands relax and straighten. It was powerful~ the man felt so loved~ and this was only one of the miracles that swirled around us this weekend!

In the Midst of the Garden...

With all this beauty...that we have asked for, fasted for...pressed into God in prayer for...and as we saw it breaking out....you would think we would have been immune from any pain or trial last week.

NOPE

It made me a TARGET for attack...and since our enemy is not fair and is a MEAN BULLY he targeted my adoptive mother's heart and my little bunny, Ava.
You see, if Jesus was breaking out...if so many kids were getting delivered and this is truly what Mama Gillian has been declaring with much strength lately...then a surprise attack...could it knock her down so that she and Ava might not receive the promise of healing all around them?...

Nothing happens to me that does not pass through my loving Father's hands.

and like I said above, my circumstances do NOT determine who I am or what my destiny is. But OH, this does not take the pain away as you walk through the fire...

Thursday could not have been sweeter...Anderson made sure all the other siblings felt included in his celebrations and it was Ava who got to share about her brother who tickles her and makes her feel "all loved and tickley" we laughed and played and ate too much cake...and after the party there were snuggles for little girls and a book read by an older sister and a special connection at Bible time and singing that blessed us all...

Kids were excused to get on jammies before one last game before bed...and as our little happy bunny went downstairs...

A serpent was waiting...
and a lie was hissed in her ear...

It may have been something like,

"Are you REALLY part of this loving family?"

"Is this REAL?"

"Come on, are you a REAL Bunny? Who do you think you are?"

And my little bunny looked down at something that she considered to be shabby...and then she tore up her little girlie room.

I was setting up the game, that is one of my little bunny's favorites, and as she entered the room she declared in a really loud, kind of overly cheerful way,

"OH, I HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT."

"YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!"

she turns to the other adoptive child in my home who had just had SUCH a normal, great day...and birthday days can be a trigger for him so this was a huge victory for him and that tongue that lied to her now lied to him,

"MOM IS OUR SECOND MOM. SHE IS NOT REAL"

... and words, what are they?

They could have been passed for childish expression until..

They continued and continued for the rest of the night...

until...I went down to get something for my bunny and I saw the ripped up bunny's nest downstairs in her room.

A firey dart tried to find its way into my Mother's heart...this is familiar war ground...
familiar battle over the identity of this little soul, and who she is

familiar battle over who I am as her mother...

and all I could say, inside my heart in that moment was,

ouch. OUCH! OUCH!!!!!

I tucked my bunny in bed with many kisses and prayed fervent, silent prayers in the only name that has true power, Jesus' name over her.

Sword, Shield...Engarde!!

Oh it's ON, serpent. This mama bunny is a warrior bunny!!

And yet, the words picked on me as I went about my chores..I carried them into prayer ..and they bothered me through the night..

Friday morning is a work morning for me at my children's school. I LOVE my job! I am the school's librarian. I joke with my husband that I'm the fun kind of Librarian not the bun kind!!

Friday, my bunny and I spent the morning getting the house in order and then driving to work. All morning long I was followed literally around by my bunny who repeated over and over that I was not REAL and that our family was not REAL. I am not exaggerating that EVERY word that came out of my little girl's mouth was on this subject of REAL. It was wild and I was acutely aware I was under attack and that so was my little bunny. I tried leading her into a loving conversation about her birth mom , tried to trace her story with her...but none of this satisfied. hiss,hiss,hiss....it was continuous in her ears that morning...poor little bunny...and all the language was a searing wound in my heart...

I cannot express how intense some of these times are with our adoptive children as they wrestle and rework the puzzle of who they are.

..the problem arises when not all the puzzle pieces can be found...then what???

And the question of this morning was, "am I REAL?"

"am I REALLY in a forever family?"

am I REALLY a blood daughter, loved like all the rest in this nest?"

...And the question intended for me was,

"Has everything you have poured into this child...

...all the "hair falling off" REALLY MADE ANY DIFFERENCE?..

ALL those times you served and laid it all down...

ALL those prayers...

all the trust you believed to be building up...where is that now???

...Listen, here she is declaring right now that

'any mother could be her mother after all'

and that

'maybe we should get some more moms for our family, or another mommy for us wouldn't that be better?'.

and' living here is o.k. but...'

..Have you REALLY become her mother?"

The language and the questions continued...but as I turned off the car in the parking lot of school, something turned on inside of me. It was a declaration.

"This is attack and for Ava's sake and mine I am going to make a stand. I am going to RESIST this until it flees from her and from me today. There is a victory coming for this little girl. I'm not backing away. I see this for what it is, attack. I'll stand and wait for deliverance." Sometimes, as the Word says, all we can do is "stand"...

It wasn't over yet

As we walked into the building and talked to a lovely friend at the sign in desk I felt nauseous. My stormy day did not seem to "fit" with the revival that was going on in the building...or maybe it was perfectly fitting!!...it was 11a.m. and I still heard the vibrations of worship from the teenagers coming through the walls next to the auditorium as I made my way to our little library...

As I turned on the light and started to re shelve books I felt overstimulated among all the books...

One of the administrators, who I love, suggested I display the books that day in a way that would draw the children's eye more. I started turning the faces of the book covers around to greet and face the children...while I worked...my bunny was at my side...the subject was the same one as the rest of the morning.

Wow, was this truly going to last ALL day?

A lady popped her head in the library and greeted us. The distraction was wonderful! As I shelved, we visited a little...

"How are you?""

I wanted to shout, I"M TERRIBLE!! and scream and tell her that I feel like the WALKING WOUNDED...don't you see my head wound? Can't you SEE it?...but I was held back...and this was good for...
You would not believe the next question that came out of this well-meaning mouth...I don't fault her...like Peter, we can say glorious mysteries that are right on in one minute and then in the next , if not dialed in and listening to God's voice ...out of that same mouth...we can say words tailored by the enemy...

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you,

How many REAL kids do you have?"

Oh no, you didn't!!
Oh, yes, she did.
It was that kind of a moment.
It was that kind of a day...and this was the PERFECT fire for my heart.

"Well," I looked down at the books in my hands, and then over at my bunny,

"I have SIX REAL KIDS, right, Ava honey?"

Ava came over and clung on my leg.

{People,people... please NEVER ask this question to an adoptive mom and especially in front of her child!!}

But I knew why I was getting the question...and I was going to keep standing until I saw Jesus step in and bring HIS message to my little girlie and my heart that day.

We dove into our little project and then had the LOVELY distraction of six classes worth of students coming through the room. Ava played mommy to her dollies and pretended at my feet and looked through books and hugged sweet children who I helped to match with books. Its a great job! I took it because I believe that finding the right book is all about blessing that child's uniqueness and identity. I have prayed that the children who find their way into the library will also be blessed by love's presence through Jesus' simple love through me and that they may walk out confirmed of their beauty as hearts are revealed as they choose their books...

That the Librarian and her child were needing confirmation this day was and unexpected turn of events among the collection of books..

As one group of students went out, the books needed refreshing...more needed to be pulled out and displayed..and I was handed this returned book...that had just made its way back to needing to be reshelved.

It was the Velveteen Rabbit.

The more I live in Christ, the more I find that He, the most beautiful of authors, writes my life in just this way.

"Hello, sweet Jesus, this is from you." my heart prayed.

It was a beautiful edition of a well-loved classic that I have read over and over and mulled over through my years. Recently I have found that not only I but my adopted children as well identify with this little rabbit...

I had just a moment to "pet" the beautiful pages of the book ~ if you love to read you know of which I speak! ~ and then I propped it open to the page of the little bunny, REAL and dancing all among the other real bunnies.

"In your name, Jesus, this is who I am in you. This is who she IS in YOU. We are REAL in you. YOU are my REAL."

Our last group of students came into the library, it was one of my favorite classes--my son Bruik is among them and I have watched and love them grow for a while now. One of my FAVORITE children in the class is a precious little girl who is full of life and glory. She is FUNNY, she is WITTY, she is so loving and has a real gift for connecting to God's heart and understanding His ways. She butts heads with my little Bruik half the time and the other half of the time squeeze hugs him with love. She is a blessed special needs girl who is wiser and more spectacular than most girls you'll meet. and, oh, yes...she's also been adopted...and is SUCH a blessing to her astounded mom who comes to me with precious stories of this incredible creation--I JUST LOVE HER.
So this little girl is trying to pick out a book and this day she is having a BEAR of a time finding JUST the right one. "Do you have any mysteries, Mrs. Tucker?...no thanks don't want a mystery...oh,oh,oh!! I KNOW what I want."..and the choices went kind of on and on that afternoon...until the check out computer is about to be shut down and this little one is the last child along with me among the shelves. She was the LAST student.

She slowed. She stopped....right in front of the Velveteen Rabbit book...
I don't really know why I did it but my hand came in front of the book--almost guarding it from her view...
I did't want to have this conversation. Today. Right then. With her. Precious her.

What about THIS book?

I heard myself talking in that falsetto adult voice, "OH, this is a GREAT book, honey." Smile. I felt uncomfortable. I half lied. "Its a story of a toy bunny that becomes, REAL."

She looked up at me through her little glasses. "HMMMNnnnn."
She's thinking.
I'm nailed.

"Isn't there something about a sick boooooy in here? and some tooooys?"

"Ah, Hem...Yes."
She looked like she was grasping for something lost...
"OOOOooooh...Mommy read this book to me" She looks like she is searching....for something forgotten...for something that may not be so pleasant..."

"Tell me about the fire, Mrs. Tucker"

She looked up at me as if to say, 'Don't lie to me, Mrs. Tucker. They burned that bunny. Tell me the Truth Mrs. Tucker."

She was waiting on me for an answer about the broken bunnies. And, Lord, I don't want to give her that answer....she's not the broken one anyhow in this moment...I am!...

And in that moment, we looked down to see the page that she had turned to in the beautiful old book. It was blue, and at the center of the illustration was a gorgeous fairy and dancing bunnies all around her.

"OH! I remember! There's an angel!!, " she sighed and smiled BIG..."Tell me about the ANGEL, Mrs. Tucker."

"Oh, yes." She smiled. "That's what I remember."

She picked up the book and hugged it to herself. Then, "I won't be needing this." She set it back gently on the shelf, and turned to land on her final decision... after several other final decisions...she plucked up a fluff bit of book called,"Pinky Dinky Doo" and I totally laughed out loud and sailed a goodbye toward her as she bounded out of the room to check it out. :)

Later, after my shift at school and piano lessons that fill my home with the reminder of what is glory...I was still feeling tattered...

like a big ole bunny...

But settled and at rest. Ready to continue to press in to being a REAL mom to all of my REAL children. I was deciding on dinner as well as deciding to keep standing on Truth even though I had not seen it in my parenting of that day...when I heard another little person sit down at the piano...and worship sounds started coming from the piano... REAL joyful noise, the kind that God mentions and asks for in the Psalms...

And my family is my witness that I actually heard my little bunny turn not only into a REAL bunny but metamorphosis into a SONGBIRD.

Now, worship and speaking out Truth is a gift from God that He will bring on this little one in certain sweet times, and had I subcombed to the attack and fought with HER instead of the lies...we might have missed out on this GLORIOUS moment...really...our warfare is THAT REAL.

Little Ava's hands were making BEAUTIFUL sounds on the piano
Chords...musical progressions...melodic notes...REAL melody...

Richard and I gathered in the kitchen, catching each other's eyes, "Are you HEARING THIS?"

And then this clear little voice started singing...the bunny is a songbird!!

"OOOOHhhh, Jesus...I just Looove you...
You made me on purpose. And everything you make is REALLLLLly Goood.
I want to be with you every day. You are the hero and I want to be with you every day.

We NEED you, come to us, Jesus!
We NEED you.
Come to US.

Oh, there's worship and there's the pain! ...and I'm growing...I'm GROWING UP LIKE A DAISY (the meaning of her African name we gave her, Aday)

Yeah, I'm growing up like a DAISY in the house of the Lord.
We NEED YOU, Jesus!
Come to us..."

She sang and sang and we cried and Richard put his head down on the counter in the kitchen and shook with laughter that is the surprised kind that comes when God just puts his glorious foot down in your midst.

Oh, don't ever stop! my Heart cried out! You are worth the "stand"

And then we heard,

"Fill our house with angels God...you are fillin' it Right now...I feel you comin' to us...just fillin' our house UP with your angels...We NEED you Jesus...We worship you..."

Who's the Mommy? Who's the REAL Daddy? He showed up in that moment. Who are we REALly? This turns out to be the WRONG QUESTION. So take that, enemy!!

The question that sets us FREE was asked 2 millennial years ago by Jesus, the King of all broken hearts and the Shepherd of all "bunnies and songbirds"

...the question is, "Who do you say that I am?" and when we get this before us...and find our identity in Him...when we lose ourself in THIS fire...we raise up out of that pire with power, life, and REAL joy in knowing that He who is IN us IS our HOPE of GLORY.

He is enough. He is THE solution for each of us. Because HE is REAL, I live.

Because HE lives there is INCREDIBLE HOPE for my children. ~ All six of my REAL kids!

Love, Gillian

Prairie Gold

2012-01-12T16:13:00.000-08:00

"The Golden Time of Day" ~ I think I'm made for "such a time as this".

So as we were driving along and they asked to stop here in this grassy prairie field to chase and play around...I couldn't resist!

They burst out of the van ~ all loud and full of puppy energy...or maybe they were horses...galloping across the pastures...or fleet-footed like deer...or little rabbits making cozy nests all hidden within swaying walls of tall grass...but in a moment they looked so small as they headed for the horizon and their voices blended in with the sound of wind brushing through the tall grassy weeds and wild grains.

Go my beauties...run for the horizon...

Like a day at the beach does, nature's vastness hushed us and swallowed us up in beauty. We were lost in the gentle majesty of reeds bowing down in the late afternoon sun.

This was yet another tabernacle.

Another place TO tabernacle with the creator who cannot be contained in buildings or structures--who bursts forth in in majesty and heart-pounding wonder. It felt so sacred, standing here, brushing my hands lightly across fuzzy dried seed stems, stroking them, petting them...and considering the weight of glory of a moment and a place... meditating upon the ONE who IS Beauty...who was blowing wind all over us in this gentle,golden moment... loosing strands of my brown hair to play and dance across my face... to join in on the choreography of life all around me...

I spun around, like the little girl who used to spin around in the shallow end of the pool, splashing my hands all across the surface of the water...and when the world drew into horizontal lines again of stripes of amber and tan and cobalt and white, I heard them calling me, a further invitation into the sacredness of this moment..."Mom, PLAY with us!!...CHASE US, MOM!!..."for a moment, I held back. But my heart overcame my default setting of "staid adultland" and I ran...

The boys are faster and finer than Mama in all things athletic but we laughed and teased and they LET me catch them after they hid in the grasses and it got SO quiet that all that I could hear was the sound of the wind breathing over the prairie and the sound of some sweet bird song near a thrush of creek nearby. I caught them and spun some until we were all dizzy and the sky touched the Earth in slants and circles. It was glorious!

And look, do you see the light on Bruik's face? Highlighting him? In this moment...all his tender beauty shone forth...I want to ever see my children in golden light.

Big brother Graham had his turn shaking out his little siblings and swooped them all up with muscles that have grown strong with service and discipline over the last season. He's a kind sheepherder of the youngers, a strong young man, a diligent laborer. We are so very proud of him. He's amazing at industry. At this time in life, one does not impart manhood to the son for it should already have been formed over the years into his very nature. But it is almost time for the blessing and the release. He has become aware of it...so have we. It catches in my heart when I see him at full run. It won't be long... In this moment, I saw the man to be. Running for that horizon...into the golden light....across swaying harvest fields...with purpose, with fire in his eyes...

And my heart beats so fast, with such awareness in these moments, for I know that we are made for golden light...that our lives are being refined "like the gold" if we are setting our gaze on the beautiful one, Christ Jesus...that we tabernacle with a God who has a golden sash around His waist, who IS the Beloved of Heaven...who prepares a place for us with Him...in His tent with Him...NOW, it is possible in every day, in every moment...

and forever...

My heart worships, it sings like the wind blowing over the prairie fields...how can it not?!

Love and Blessing,

GG

P.S. Hopefully in the next days and weeks we will be journaling here about our current ministry calling and more stories about this. :)

And I laughed :)

2012-01-08T12:24:00.000-08:00

...from my prayer journal...

I was hurriedly working around the house...trying to get a family of eight out for an earlier session at the huge conference we were attending almost each day that week...

Spraying down and curling up tight,pretty dark curls into a sweet hairdo with a flower, packing out a cooler filled with several meals and snacks to last us through into the last night hours, filling up backpacks with bible studies materials as well as props for our littlest flower as she played at our feet...slipping 6 boy legs into jeans that we had laid out the night before and finding shirts to match...cleaning up the dishes in the sink...shining up the counter as we headed out for the morning...giving Annie our Wonder Dog just ONE more hug and walk and begging her not to leave us "rewards" on the carpet for our absence like she had the previous day...of course glancing in the mirror for a ten minute fix...they are all in the car now and I am still running after last minute items and my forgotten purse...its upstairs...and ....as I run up the stairs...and in to my bedroom...

I see an unmade bed...and...

Some Christmas toys that had not been put back after a night and a morning's play...

Extra dishes have migrated to the sink!

There's a coffee cup from yesterday on my bathroom counter, and dog hair floating on the floor, clean clothing heaped up on the dresser awaiting its turn to be put away...just waiting for me to come home again... and a huge sigh begins to well up within me...

its a familiar one

...There I was weak and hurried and not knowing how to

make sense of time.

And, I spoke something out,

That may not be what I want

...painted all over with words...

but i said it anyway...

"I hate this!!"

"I have SUCH a MESSY Nest!!!"

And of course, what I was meaning was,

"I dislike you, Gillian, for being SUCH a MESS!! ~ How COULD You??!"

And in that moment,

I can feel it as if it were right NOW,

for it is one of those NOW moments in which HE comes

and walks HIS Truth into MY Now...

In that moment, YOU,God, YOU gave me a picture of many

Soft Feathers -- Piled Up in a Colorful Heap

In a nest

I saw them.

And I felt the gentle sound of your laughter and your pleasure all around me.

I REALLY Heard YOU say,

"I love your messy nest."

And, shocked I replied,

I REALLY did!

"But, God, How could you love THIS? It's awful!! It's a wreak!! It's SO out of sorts!!!"

And YOU said back.

"I love your messy nest. This is JUST the place where I want to grow them. Where I am growing you."

"I love you."

And, like my Sarah our "great" of grandmothers,

I laughed!!

And my heart danced back with smiles, now so much lighter, because of the One who smiled down all over me and hugged me in my midst.

I carried this sweet revelation with me down the stairs and out the door as I got in the car...and saw YOUR smile again as I peered in the rear-view window at those crazy, precious chickies in my nesty car...

I hovered closely over this bit of NOW Word woven into my every day.

And, in this, I became ever so much more knitted into "likeness" to YOUR heart and mind...

For, newly, I understood in this moment that,

What I often criticize, YOU LOVE!!

And, I can be MORE Critical and way "OFF" of what is true than THE MOST HIGH!!

I can not see what YOU love until my eyes are opened..

So, also, I can too easily turn to criticizing what is beauty

and ascribing value to the lesser things...

Give me eyes to see...what is real...

And ears to hear YOU when YOU speak...

Love, GG

"They're Doin" It!!"

2012-01-01T10:04:00.000-08:00

My noble friends, You Gotta see this!!

EEEEEEEKKK!! IT's SO GOOOOOD!!!

In fact... I'l "GiVe YoU YoUr MoNeY BaCk" if your heart does not burn and cry out with joy as you listen to the video below!! :)

We just laughed as our hearts burned with agreement with Allen Hood, the president of our Bible School here, as he spoke to a crowd of 25,000 this weekend.

We cried through this talk.

~ you can hear it at timer on the video 2:14 ~

Our tears said, YES!!! in agreement for Allen spoke out what God is calling this generation to. AND, they poured out in streams of great joy for we have great affection the beautiful Hood family.

All semester, our Ashley has been in a college-level course that Allen led at The Daniel Academy, called, "Excellencies of Christ". Ashley has come home with a bright heart and has been searching out her beloved, Jesus, in a way that is baptizing our home with firey love for Him that is touching us all...

I have been so blessed by the warmth and wisdom of Allen Hood's wife, Rachel. This family ( they have 3 wonderful boys), is a picture of love lived out so well.

In this video, Allen and his son, Samuel articulate SO WELL What our lives are about before God and what we are up to here at the International House of Prayer.

EVEN SO, we cried with tears of love and swelled up joyful admiration and affection over our dear friend, Samuel Hood, Allen's son, who we has become our dear friend and brother. He opens the time of prayer for his Dad.

Samuel faithfully pours into our sons, Anderson and Jack every week, teaching them piano in our home. He drives over to our little home here and walks in our door with joy and fire in His eyes.

He lays a hug on my kids and jumps with them on the trampoline. He models well what excellent love would look like, coming from an older brother. And he also spurs on some pretty great "Godly brotherly competion" :)~ HEE!!~ as he arrives with reward dollars in his pocket and creative ideas for games for them. It works!! ;) My little boys look for Samuel in the halls of their school...and they are not ignored...but are searched out and singled out as significant as this older teen loves them as well in public as at our house.

On Piano Lesson afternoons, our house swells with music as piano,guitar, and voices sing out to Jesus. Every week is a gem, but I cried the day I heard Samuel tell my boys about making their instrument sing out to God.

"Guys, the Bible says that 'even the rocks would cry out' if we did not give our praises to God. so we are going to let our instruments sing worship to God today"

The Joy and Passion for God is contagious and my little boys are caught up with the joy of the privilege of getting to worship Jesus.

Oh, they are SO beautiful...like little David's on their instruments and as they SING...

...not just a copy of other's style but NEW songs and sounds...

And the example goes further than Piano lesson afternoons...I see this tenderizing of little hearts, joyful expression in music in practice times...

... And, more importantly, rising up the steps from our den, individual,unprompted worship times with God

I have been tickled to witness attempts to reach toward one another in more love as brothers...

And, recently Anderson stepped into his first audition to be a singer for a worship team here, was received onto the team and is enjoying bringing his love for Jesus before other boys and girls...discipleship at its best everyone!! Its a beautiful thing!!

that one generation would tell the goodness of the Lord to another

HOW Different this is then MY memories of staring at the wind-up timer on my piano as a little girl...counting down the insufferable minutes!!...

Yet...not too different of that same young child, a little girl in the 70's who would go into her room to meet with Jesus there...and who would FIND Him waiting there for her every day as she sang and loved to talk with Him and search out in her Bible and in her own heart this living,breathing Word with love and affection for her...who then, in the 80's grew to know the joys of a guitar and a voice lifted before her brothers and sisters in praise and then before the hearth and its babies and toddlers in the 90's...to continue to feel the joy of the Spirit's counsel and joy pouring forth in song and praise through each decade ...

and now,in a new millenium...

He is STILL so INCREDIBLY precious and worthy...

That there is EVER treasure in the hidden places...

And joy in worship...

that song is increasing in her heart And on the Earth...

And...

She finds her children... searching Him out...

TRULY He is LASTING,WORTHY, the only value and joy and light of Life...

Truly only

ONE THING is worth

all our time'

all our focus'

all our admiration and affection,

and that ONE THING is a PERSON I adore and WILL search out,

to "BEHOLD HIS BEAUTY"

ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE (Psalm 27)

Samuel speaks here (on the video before his dad's talk) about children being raised in an environment SATURATED with the Lord.

KIDS,

consecrated to Him.

And,

I want YOU to know, beloved friends,

ANY of you...who have hearts for God.

Who are on a walk with Him...

or who have children...

Maybe some that you are crying out in prayer over...

Maybe perhaps one that is caught up in the dark Spirit of our Age?

I really want to encourage you, where ever you are, right now, in your walk.

You AND your kids CAN live lives full of light, loving God with sincerity and joy.
He is RIGHT HERE. And as we reach for Him. He swoops us up with great desire for us in His Presence and Love. We are SEEING it in kids and adults all around us...

We are living it for real in our family...

Samuel says, "At the end of the day, I want my Life to be worship to God." and "I want my life to be an instrument of praise for Jesus."

Amen, preach it, brother, Samuel.

For Real. There are REALLY kids like this out there, you all!!

It is NOT too late for holiness and passionate love for God in our generation and in the generation coming up RIGHT behind us. Oh, THIS truly is our normal in Christ. It can be our inheritance. It REALLY can be.

Any family can make a choice for the very highest for their kids in God. Friends, we don't have to seat belt ourselves in to our culture. We really don't have to "lose" our teens into rebellion as they age up or even in the "tween" years. we don't have to lose our children to media or hand-held entertainments,video games, and computer screens. There really is more for them...and for us...and its NOT too late!!

We have met many kids like Samuel, who have bright spirits...who are so full of Christ's love that the love is contagious and sets many hearts around them on fire..who are disciplined and are already discipling the next generation after them..

Who are preaching out,

Searching out the greatness and the goodness of our incredible God...

Who are bright and shining lamps in this day...

and who I want to BE LIKE!!...

We know and are experiencing that God is increasing His Presence in this next generation...GOD in His greatness has let this next generation catch a vision of God that is FAR beyond Sunday-only Christianity...and its BEAUTIFUL!!!!

...and..to look in the fire in their eyes...I will give my life as a foundation to lift these ones up...for as parents in this generation...our ceiling will be their floor...

Many of you have asked us, "But WHAT do you DO as Intercessory Missionaries...

"what's the point?"

Some sweetly :)

..some not so sweetly ;)

but that's really o.k....

for, we know...that

Yes

, what we are called to...

it IS counter cultural...

Yet...

It is actually quite normal according to the example that we find in the Bible....

We found our hearts so stirred as we looked at the words on the pages...and then purposed our lives to truly obey them in a literal, every day walking it out..

THIS (video below) is an EXCELLENT description of our hearts, our passion, and our daily vocation.

24/7 Prayer is only our constraint... :) God is infinitely worth MORE than 24/7 prayer!! :) We GET to do prayer. It's our privilege of being born again. Because NOTHING compares to Him...

and HE truly is our greatest reward.

And this brings such real joy for we truly are "hard-wired" for Him!! :)

It's happening, oh,its taking place!!...God is answering the Lord's Prayer, "as it is in heaven"...they are never going back...You NEED to know and hear these stories...and hear Allen's humor :) For,as he says, ..."God is going viral!!" :)

Oh, people, this is SO GOOD!! PLEASE take a moment on the first day of your New Year to consider the most Glorious ONE and What He is about on the Earth right now. What YOU are invited into.

HEAR how God is moving...in worship to Him lifted ALL OVER THE EARTH!!

SEE the "such a time is this" that we are living in!!

I hope you REALLY LOVE this video...we heard so many people talking about this...how their hearts were incredibly impacted as they laughed and enjoyed the joy and humor in it as well.

We love you! Blessings in Christ!! We're NEVER going back!! :)

"...for my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations" (Isaiah 56:7)

New Gifts...to ANYONE...in this New Year...Love to you from the Tuckers!!

2011-12-31T07:39:00.000-08:00

Hello, beloved friends on this last day of 2011!!

I have so appreciated our visits together through this blog. :)

This post is a gift to you today from our family. We are at a wonderful conference this weekend in Kansas City that is given by The International House of Prayer Ministry. It has been an incredible time of refreshing and intimacy with God as a family.

The talk below started off our time here with an explosion in our hearts!! I hope it blesses you in the same way!!

Blessings to you!!

The video takes a couple minutes to load fully at the beginning...maybe skip the minutes ahead?...the worship on it is powerful and so is the first talk...but the one we are highlighting to you today is at hour 2 and 5 minutes time...push the timer ahead to hear of how you are a "power and lights district in Christ!!"...do you believe it?...maybe you are starting to?...Do you want this in your new year?..."if ANYONE is in Christ...he IS a New Creation"...

Love to you from Gillian and the Tucker family. Happy New Year...He makes ALL things new!!!

Gifts in Sticky Packages..

2011-12-16T08:51:00.000-08:00

Its just like Jesus to give US gifts in HIS season...

...little voices belt out, cracking cause they are singing with greatest volume," OH COME LET US ADORE HIM" in the back seat as we pull into the grocery parking lot... feet dance and skip across asphalt and shivering arms pull me until we are ALL skipping into the warmth of the store...and we finish our our race with another-- racing pennies into the donation bucket down ramps and around slides...2 pennies buy such delight!!

..earlier,we watched with wonder and enjoyment, clumsy little fingers wrapping up homemade gifts for teachers, wrestling with Loooong strands of tape and then unsticking the tangle, leaving powdery fingerprints--their identity adhered in tapey lines all over crumpled packages placed so preciously into backpacks...

NOW they are saying, "Mom, i LOVE to spend this time with you!!".... and "we will HELP you" in our grocery journey to Aldi where two little boys in their vigor throw a weeks worth of produce onto the conveyer belt faster than an "I Love Lucy" episode...one's bobbed blonde hair swinging over his eyes as he grabs and throws and helps with such exuberance that instead of correction i have to just fold my arms,step back to behold him now lifting that Biiiiggggg bag of potatoes over his head and just laugh with joy...

...then for the bagging--oh what an adventure each moment is if we see them as gifts!!..."watch OUT for the SOFT things,guys...HOW about putting the butter on the BOTTOM and then the vine tomatoes?" ...oh,well....it all flies by in cuteness and earnestness and their brand of wholehearted service...love...who can resist this God of love?... who paints my life with children's adoration to Jesus in the candle lights of advent...or who makes little boys run past me this morning in matching red jackets... eager to bring their gifts to school...

...did you run to be the gift in the manger, Jesus?...what gifts did you make for Mary and Joseph in the Carpenter's shop?...how did you gather up pieces of your Creation that you had previously fashioned to now construct into creations of your heart for the ones you loved...yet this time with the hindrance of little boy dexterity ...how did it feel to be a little Jewish boy?...how did you, the Darling of Heaven make YOUR FATHER and the angels smile and laugh?...

...I SEE your JOY and LIGHT..your Father's pleased smile... in the radiance of these ones who love you...who are WRAPPED in YOUR love and YOUR identity...your fingerprints are all over us...we are wrapped in you...

Love, GG

Praying to remember this:

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,

did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

but made himself nothing,

taking the very nature of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself

and became obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

and gave him the name that is above every name,

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father. (From Philippians 2)

Stables,Garages...its all the same to Him :)

2011-12-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

Tonight we were in the garage. We had just brought down our Christmas boxes from the attic and now we were sorting through them. Different children floated in and out of the task when it seemed to become "work" instead of "fun". :)...our "tween", Anderson came in half-way through and started pulling out stockings and stocking holders. He took over displaying all of our stockings with great pride and he was a cheery buddy to work with. After a bit, Anderson saw this tiny little stocking and stopped short..

"..AWwww a BABY stocking." He said stroking it..

."Yes, its cute isn't it",

I was registering that he REALLY loved the stocking as I continued to hunt around in various boxes, organizing my strategy for what and how it was to come into the house...at the end of a longish day Mama was pretty tired in the midst of a task that so requires mandetory cheer!

Standing behind me, still very focused on this stocking, He seemed to be growing quite attached to this bit of Christmas decoration that did not even have enough material to be worthy of the name "stocking". Yet,He went on, "Mom, I really wish she could have it"

I continued ruffling around in a box of decorative bows fishing out our collection of cookie cutters that must have fallen in there at the end of last season. His task had halted. And, he gazed at this little stocking.

"Yes, it would have been so right for her...she would have loved it."

His words came cloudy to my mind. Her? Was he talking about his teacher at school? Was he missing our foster daughter? I finally was confused enough to ask," Anderson who is 'she?' are you missing..." , and I mentioned our foster girl, M.

His eyes grew big and tender and as he picked up the little stocking , he pulled me around to face him. "I mean HER. The one God made in you...You KNOW Mom. The one of us who is in heaven with our other little brother, Joshua. I wish she was here to put on this little stocking." He got really quiet as he looked down at it. " Wouldn't it have fit her JUST right?" He smiled sadly. "But I am glad she's spending Christmas with Jesus...." He hugged me TIGHT...he stroked the little stocking..."I do miss her though..." he whispered.

This little stocking has now become exceedingly precious to me as I remember the tiny one it belongs to now...Back in August a little baby girl who was being knit together in my womb...was called home to Heaven...to live with the Christmas Lamb. She is our second child to now reside there ~ to have access to Jesus' LAP!! To hear angels sing...to KNOW love in a way that we only would have begun to taste here. The holidays blow my heart and mind to know that I literally have little ones rejoicing in the Presence that we are worshiping and celebrating ~ and then to realize OUR access of Jesus is just as real and as Present Here. That WE ARE sitting in His lap too. That His angels move at the sound of our worship and intercessions...That our family here and there share the same joys and wonders for "IN His Presence IS Fullness of Joy" ~ forevermore... {Psalm 16:11}

And, my heart fills with wonder over sweet Anderson tonight. A boy who also sits with simple trust and love in the lap of his Jesus. The one who worships with abandon and loves with affection. "Christ IN" him "the hope of glory"... The compassion of Christ in a child...the discernment in a believing child's Spirit of the season in which they live astounds my heart...messages like this one.. through these little ones...

Much like the packaging of a most wonderful message wrapped up in swaddling clothes!...

I was completely unaware that I was in need of a kiss from my Heavenly Father tonight. That after seeing the quiet but painful grief of this past semester He would take THIS little moment, IN MY GARAGE to love on me. Through my tweenager! ;) Yet He's like that! Yes, this is the God who likes using stables and water-logged fishing boats and wilderness hikes to show His glory!!

I love that God-who-sees is always taking heed to and care over the tending of my heart's pulse even when I am unaware, as I was tonight, that I would need ministering in THIS moment....Glory and care in a garage! :) Let us worship Him for He is GOOD to us.

Love and Blessings,

Gillian

P.S. Much of this was originally sent in a message to my precious friend, Michelle, who is another gift from God in my heart's journey. All the time but particularly as I have walked through this specific sorrow. My heart would not be as healed today if God had not graced me with this friend who has loved me so well. He keeps sending such sweet gifts!!

Hugs from our Home Today

2011-11-28T06:19:00.000-08:00

Many of us over the last several days have "Entered His gates with Thanksgiving" in our hearts and around our tables...First, the thanking...next comes the Praising and the knowing of the Presence... and...NOW enters the time for the WELCOMING of " God With US", Emmanuel...

Here's a GIFT from the Tucker Family today to WELCOME the Celebration of Jesus our Precious Savior's COMING into the World...Into our Lives...FOR EVER...

And may this SWEET Telling perhaps jumpstart your..."Entering His Courts with Praise" this Christmas season...

We LOVE YOU, Jesus!! We LOVE you, Friends!!

Hugs!

....now where did I PUT that box of Christmas dress-ups....Hmmnnn.... ;)

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving thanks.

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

Worship the Lord with gladness;

come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the Lord is God.

It is He who made us, and we are His

we are His people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving

and His courts with praise;

give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and His love endures forever;

His faithfulness continues through all generations.

Thanksful Testimony!!!

2011-11-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

God brought a miracle into my life this past week. :) I had been wrestling with 40ish eyesight. For the first time in my life I was dealing with having to bring literature up REALLY close to my eyes to make out the words...not great for a girl who LOVES reading and is teaching a couple to read at home right now...and helps out at school in the library--not to mention ALL the other inconveniences this was creating...

Last Sunday at church, a young woman testified to God dramatically healing her eyesight after she asked to for her sight to be cleared so that she would not have to wear her corrective lenses anymore. Soon after this, there was an opportunity to receive prayer for healing in the name of Jesus right there in our seats. As I raised my hand, asking God for healing for my eyes among other health inquiries, I felt the real presence of the Holy Spirit as several people laid hands on me and prayed. It was a simple prayer time...they prayed silently...I may never know who each of them was...all I knew was that the heavy presence of God pressed on me with such nearness as they prayed for me...

In a moment, as I opened my eyes, I could read the bulletin's fine print..AND the Bible that lay in my lap WITHOUT picking it UP ..AND I could clearly see people's faces ACROSS the room!! All week long I have been thanking Jesus for healing my eyes. I was especially thankful as my mom and I cooked Thanksgiving dinner that I could clearly SEE handwritten recipe cards and the small print on the can labels...I was again blessed to read little notes from the kiddos to one another ~ and my Favorite blessing was being able to read my Bible in bed again before sleep in the SOFT light of the lamp nearby!!

What particularly struck my heart this week was that no healing desire is insignificant in God's eyes. And, that we do not have to just resign ourselves to "all" the little " problems" that "just come" with the "territory" of the"aging process". I have NOThING against aging!! ~ but desire to be a Caleb that walks into the promised land with a spring in my step at a very old and green age. :) I hope you feel free to ask our loving Father for the desires of your heart that could be related to healing needs. He loves to heal and He LOVES you so!

"And He healed them ALL..."

(Mt. 12:15,Mt. 4:23,Mt 12:22,Mt. 9:35)

Arrows in a Mighty Hand ~ "Do you Want in on This?"

2011-11-14T13:01:00.000-08:00

You gotta see this one!!

This is from Orphan Sunday here at our church and ministry here in Kansas City.

The Bolender family is a beloved adoptive family here who are being greatly used by God to highlight adoption as a solution to the abortion crisis as well as the founders of The Zoe Foundation, a non-profit adoption agency for Christ-centered adoption. Plus they are are so loveable, witty, and just really funny. :)

I love how our children ~ ALL of them ~ are referred to in this talk as ARROWS in the hand of the Lord. I deeply believe this and it permeates my understanding about "why adoption

And HOW I LOVE This quote!!

"We adopted to expand the Kingdom of God in a real way and to buy Jesus an Inheritance from among the nations...and we are full of joy to do this."

The Zoe Foundation

http://thezoefoundation.com/

Let love reign!

Love, Gillian

Isaiah 58:5-8

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,

only a day for a man to humble himself?

Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed

and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?

Is that what you call a fast,

a day acceptable to the Lord?

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

when you see the naked, to clothe him,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousnessa will go before you,

and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

A Priestly Project !

2011-11-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

But you are a chosen race who serve as Priests for The Kingdom, a holy people, a redeemed assembly; you should proclaim the praises of him who called you from darkness into his excellent light. (IPeter 2:9)

We made "priestly breastplates" for our time in prayer for others this week. We listened today to a pastor speak of Aaron's breastplate and how it was a reminder of how each of the tribes of Israel, symbolized by 12 gem stones set into the breastplate and laid over the pure white linen priestly garments, were carried into the tabernacle as the priest would intercede for them...In this way, the priest was truly carrying EACH person of Israel in before God's Presence...Later Christ would carry 12 disciples and then after dying for us and raising in resurrection, He would LIVE in intercession for us...

We suddenly got what we call around here, "a suddenly".
Since Jesus as our high priest has knighted us priests and kings of His Kingdom, why not make a breastplate to use in our times of intercession!! We too could "carry" 12 people before God every day.
The photo above shows the simplicity of our idea--12 circles on paper.

3 for family members--

We chose this time those family members who need salvation or healing. The kids loved choosing various people in our family. A couple even chose siblings but the prayer request had to be for something specific like a spirit of love/unity for that brother--something along gifted and kind lines!! We wrote the names in the circles and for the non-readers drew a little picture -- something that would remind them of that person, for example perhaps a cookie for a Grandma.

3 for friends--

I was amazed at how the children carefully thought through these choices. We had some choices for friends who need prayer for salvation, some who are sad, some who have special needs, some who need healing

3 for neighbors--

This was fun!! We now live on a busy street and have not gotten to know all of our neighbors--I think this prayer project will prompt this! Ava is praying for the family in the yellow house, the elderly lady in the blue house, and the couple in the brick house across the street--she can see every one of these houses from our living room window. Can't you picture her cute little face peeking out that window every day to check on her "gems"? I bet she will both fall in love with these precious people, thus we will have reason to meet them, and I know God will listen to a little girl's earnest prayers.

3 for strangers--

This was a harder concept for my littles. One wrote down policeman,fireman, cashier. Jack wrote, "lost people". Won't we have to make some friends now?!! The suggestions for the next children were to hold on this category until we could see some strangers and write them down this week as we go about our week OR think of some strangers we see every day and write them down. We asked God to bring some to mind...
And He did! Bruik, suddenly animated shouted out that he was praying for Africans. Ava is now praying for the mailwoman, and for two friendly muslim women who visited our lemonade stand this summer...she has now talked of them all night...they are already on the heart...
I love this category for faces become so much more precious ~YES, GEMSTONES ~ to our hearts as we pray for them. Who knows what God will do with this?!!

We lightly colored in over the names--they were already so excited!!
You could go so much more fancy with this with different foils and materials...perhaps faux gemstones...I could see the breastplate being made out of a paper plate (although they were rectangular) or hanging from a chain or yarn around the neck...I think the idea is WELL suited for adults too--Can't we all think immediately of people in each of these categories we could pray for every day?

Then we prayed over the names.
Sacred Beauty...from something SO simple..
But doesn't most beauty in this life come to us in containers such as this?

This is my happy "pray-er, Bruik.
He wanted to fold up the Breastplate, stick it in his pocket, and use it everywhere we go today--he told me!

Praying in a harvest...

We then hung the "breastplates" up in our stairwell on a clothesline of sorts..

The children have stopped by them to touch the circles and pray for people already as they pass them today--we will take them down for corporate prayer as a family. My teens and Richard and I will make some too and join in!!

This project was very dear to my heart for I am the product of a "harvest" more than 3 decades ago...In 1975 a sweet young woman, wife and mom of 2 looked out her window and saw my family playing outside...sweet Linda Wade, then in her twenties, I believe, committed to pray daily for our family's salvation. Within a year, my Dad became a Christian at a Bill Gotherd seminar, My mom got to know Linda and came to know Christ in a bible study Linda arranged to have at OUR house with other neighbor ladies...months later, after seeing sweet transformation and the joy of the Lord fill my parents, little 5 year old Gillian would place her trust and faith in Jesus...Boom!! All from one faithful woman's prayers. What if Linda had been too distracted or busy to pray, and then, what if she had been too shy to befriend and invite herself into my family's life? After all, there were many jokes about "those Jesus People" out there... Oh, I'm EVER thankful for one woman's obedience and discipline to bring me before Father God every day...Think of all the people who will NOT spend eternity in Hell and will spend it before the riches of Christ all because of simple actions and prayers and neighborly friendships...by the homemaker, the mom, the Grandma, the working man, the child peering out our living room window and across the street...

Peek out YOUR windows,your car windshield, your vantage from the checkout line, your view from the dropping kids off place, your place on the sports field,your work area room tonight...tomorrow...this week... and fill up the breastplate of prayer. Then PRAY!! Heaven will celebrate. Your Neighbors will thank you with eternal thank yous!!

Love, Gillian

Nothing Else Will Do

2011-11-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

We'll be there--you can be too!! :) Our church has the honor of hosting the event " Orphan Sunday Live from Kansas City" PLEASE join us for ONE HOUR live or over the web in intercession prayer and worship for the orphans of Father God's World. This will be a global event, we are so excited!!
This is the type of intercession we do for the orphans of the world during prayer sets here at the International House of Prayer. It is powerful and tenderizes my heart for God and His love for His children every time. Knowing that prayer is the finest effectual action we can take for it moves the heart of the GOD who holds this world in His hand never ceases to AMAZE me!! What a privilege and a partnership prayer becomes!!

Register for free tickets to this event live or webstreaming

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And he came unto the disciples, and found them asleep, and said unto Peter, What, could you not watch with me one hour? Matthew 26:40

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You know what I am considering tonight as I type and worship and listen to all the little voices floating upstairs from a dress-up extravaganza?...

That adoption can be summed up in several words but here is the one that is striking my heart as I consider love tonight...

Jealousy...

Have you ever considered HOW MUCH God loves you? I mean, HOW MUCH He loves?

The other morning He woke me up...with the thought/prayer..."you need to consider LOVE...and how much I love you...my perfect love casts away fear...it redeems and frees...it is for you not against you...how much will you consider my love, Gillian?"...

and I have this week...as I have washed dishes and stroked faces ...and wiped away the tears of a child who was hurt by another...and wondered about the gathering of souls here...that God purposed ...for us to encounter what ...

LOVE IS...

He is JEALOUS...

That we would not have another...

Or another thing...

He is JEALOUS for each of our souls to only belong to him...

To know this love...To know HOW MUCH...OH HOW Much HE (not me, not families, not movements) but HE loves....HE Loves....How much HE wants to love...to save.. to know..to show HOW MUCH ...He IS Love...

Adoption's not only about filling tummies or one more bed to make...

Adoption's about a "buy back"...It's about a God who is so

JEALOUS

for LOVE

So glorious in beauty and holiness and forever love

That He will have NOTHING BUT

US

That He would EMPTY HIMSELF of EVERYTHING

but LOVE

That He would consider the cost

And come live HERE

In a place like the places we visit on missions trips.

That He chose to be a poor baby...loved by a Mommy and Adopted by an astounded Daddy

That He would live sinless,

love wholehearted and fierce,

That He would step away from the majestic temple to walk the dusty streets,

LOOKING for LOVE.

Searching for the one...

Dying for All

ALL of us ...from any home...in every culture...in every time...

For ALL of us.

Not just some would do...

He was Jealous to rescue and buy us back from an enemy who oppressed, hated, used us and orphaned our hearts from Him.

But He had a quest to buy us back with blood,

Purify us for Presence and ready us for a great big family...

For LOVE

He would NOT have us in the arms of another lover

Or under the foot of an oppressor...

And...He is jealous...Jealous for those little ones tucked upstairs in bed

and the mommy at the sink

for the ones who run barefoot in the grass outside under the sprinkler

as well as for the one who shivers under a thin blanket under drips in a shanty

He wants them ALL

At His banquet table

Well fed, Set apart for a joyous forever family, Holy unto HImself, dressed in white and feasting in His Presence.

And so,

If I am to consider how I am to move in Him,

I will Go

I will LOVE

I will SEEK

Those we can bring home to Him as gifts to HIM...

And its a life-long treasure hunt for the King who

Will stop at nothing less than loving all...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...and here comes little Ava, our Ethiopian daughter...she's spontaneously singing this song tonight:

Blessings and Love,

Gillian

What's in Your Brownies?? ~ Take Back the Date!!

2011-10-31T07:40:00.000-07:00

...from our archives...we love to repost this on this date...

A modern day parable...

Hey, kids!! You're home! Hey, come on back to the kitchen--we're making brownies today! You get the mix out...O.K. let's see ...what do we need next...
a little sugar {yum, sugar! who doesn't love it?!!}
some eggs {watch out! They are fragile--they might break!}
salt {make sure its the salty kind--we can't use it if it loses its flavor--taste it, test it to make sure--is it salty? a little goes such a long way! great!! you kids are GREAT bakers!!}
What else do we need...Oh, yes!! OIL {It holds EVERYTHING in the recipe together} Let's pour in the oil and mix it ALL through our recipe

Hmmmmn, kids you know what? These brownies are going to taste terrific? Can't wait to eat em huh? Let me JUST slip in ONE more thing before we bake and eat them up--I saw alot of my friends putting this into their brownies recently. Yeah, it doesn't smell so great but...it's brown isn't it? Yes, it looks kinda gross but we're just putting in SUCH a LITTLE bit and maybe JUST this week we will add in this extra ingredient and then we'll go back to making our brownies the way we usually do. O.K. Let's mix this in--this is going to be FUN--does everyone want a turn stirring? Good JOB. Hey, I know, let's share some of these brownies with the neighborhood kids too--so that we all can try em. GREAT! This is fun--now let's pop them in the oven...setting the timer...

Hey, hand me that bowl over there--wow, it really is stinky, huh? But I sure wouldn't want our friends to not like us if we didn't make brownies like this, this week. We might miss out on some great fellowship--I heard they are even bringing brownies like this to church fellowship groups and celebrations this week in addition to all the brownie parties in the neighborhoods and schools this week. You, know if its being brought to church--it MUST be O.K., right?

DING, DING, DING--Oh, that's the oven buzzer let's take out our treat. Who wants a glass of milk with our brownies today? YUM!! FUN!! Oh, you're welcome!! :)
Yummy, soooo good! Should we pack some up and hand them out now? Great?--Yes, honey, what did you say?--Oh, what was the special ingredient? Is that what you asked? Well I just added in what everyone is adding into baked goods this week...

Dog Poop...

Oh, don't look so horrified!:)

...it was only a little bit...
Now...who wants some more?

A little break down of our recipe and why I'm telling this story this week:

Brownie Recipe is what we are pouring into our children's lives and hearts.
Mix is God's best, His Truth for them, the foundation of God's Word

Sugar--the pleasure this world has to offer can be a gift from God and also a distraction for our hearts

Egg--a reminder that their hearts are fragile. As parents we are the guardians of our children's hearts--our wellspring of Life flows up from well-tended hearts.

Salt--Our value to the Lord and our influence for His Kingdom in our World. Just a little of our influence shines SUCH a long way.

Oil--The abiding presence of the Holy Spirit in us. We are to stay in step with Him. Choosing ways that are not of Him actually brings grief to Him. Every bit of us should be "mixed" with God's holiness--His presence--His anointing--His anointing is light and cannot mix with darkness.

And the mystery ingredient? GROSS!! you say! Yes!! Totally Gross!! But a picture of what so many believers in Christ do every Halloween week. Taking just LITTLE bits from a demonic celebration and ingesting them--mixing them into their lives--feeding these elements to their children with much festivity!!

You may have not heard, and if not, you need to know that Halloween is not just about candy, good times, costumes, and acting. NO, the origins of Halloween are downright creepy. As my kids would tell you, I'm sure there are no Halloween celebrations going on in heaven this week and so there will be none at our home either!
Halloween has pagan origins. There is much more history that would be helpful to know but simply, the people worshiped dark spirits and were afraid of the undead who walked on the earth once a year on this night. They would leave treats outside of their door so that demons would not carry them off to Hell--some "trick"!--and the costumes were to hide from the evil spirits as well. Even without knowing this, there are obvious signs that this celebration glorifies death, fear, and witchcraft--

-all things that Christ died on the cross to get VICTORY over!!

There just is NO fellowship light with darkness.
In fact--when light appears--the dark must run away!

Many, many cool and nice people--really likable people that I know celebrate Halloween--some only in measure. But PLEASE remember the brownies--even a little bit -- is dangerous. If I am now not "likeable" for writing this post to you, that's really o.k. with me for although I like you very much, I love you so much more and needed to share truth with you today.

"This is the message, we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in Him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in Spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that His word has no place in our hearts." I John 1:5-10 "And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever." I John 2:17

"Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living...clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ..." Romans 13:11-14

Children of Light--don't eat the brownies!!

Love, Gillian

He saw all of us...and yes...He loved us

2011-10-13T13:13:00.000-07:00

Ashley speaks on Comrades :)

2011-10-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

Now it's Ashley's turn!

Here is a video about forming David/Johnathon type friendships in our children. School does not have to be a lonely or scary for any children in our midst when Christ-filled children learn how to reach out with God's love to draw in other kids around them. The bond children are capable of creating is incredible and can last for a lifetime.

We call this, "marvelous comaraderie"--its simple, but carries so much impact for children. If you have ever lived through a season in which it was your child who was the one who was left out (or that is a tender memory) you know how weighty relationships are in a child's life. We are watching the fruit of real "comaraderie"--where children are truly for one another--not perfect, but definitely joy-filled and welcoming-- in our family and at school. Makes such a difference in the school experience for the whole family!! The whole video is sweet but if you are short on time, friends, and have not seen Ashley in a while, her part of the video starts around minute 6.26.

Blessings!!

Ashley and our other children would love to pray for any kids that might be lonely or having a rough time with relationships in school or for any other request. The kids will be taking questions as well for how to create a more peaceful/joy-filled environment for friends at school. Feel free to contact them for prayer at tuckergillian@gmail.com or in the comments section below.

"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)

Fire in the Night ~ Anderson takes over the blog this time! :)

2011-10-04T14:43:00.000-07:00

This post is really by our Mr. Adorable, Anderson. (11 years old)

His Words:

"Hi this is Anderson, after dinner tonight we were praying for people who do not know or love Jesus. There are SOOoooo many who DON'T. God pressed on my heart and I had to do SOMETHING. First, I made a good news book out of craft materials and asked my mom if I could go out right then and find someone to share the gospel of Jesus with. She said it was too dark and late but suggested I tell YOU on HERE by making a video!! I just needed to tell people about Jesus tonight! This is good news that EVERYBODY needs to hear!!If you don't know Jesus, here are the basics in my videos here. Really. Get to know Jesus, He is so awesome. You will get more than like all the money of the world if you come to know Christ. You only have a little bit of life to know Jesus."

(Yep...I told ya he's adorable!!)

"Please look at my videos. I really want you to know Jesus!!"

"Love, Anderson"

This will blow your MIND!!:

Let's start at the very beginning:

This is VERY important:

The red words bring us life --REALLY!!

Getting Washed is Like Jesus having a car wash

(sorry this is on its side!!)

Be blessed, Love, Your Friend, Anderson

Getting Ready to Hear :) ~ so cute!!

2011-09-14T12:51:00.000-07:00

I am having so much fun sharing this fun resource with you today!!

This little video is made by The Daniel Academy, our school here in Kansas City Missouri. We love how our children are being trained up in adoration for Jesus and in the knowledge and wisdom of the Lord here.

In this video, Ava's Kindergarten teacher, our dear friend, Lelonnie Hibberd,who has a heart for children to know God's heart ( she's just the bestest Kindergarten teacher EVER!!), is showing what it means to get your heart ready to hear from God as you study scripture. This is how our kids study the Bible every day in addition to Bible teaching and worship. There are jewels on this little video here for each of us!

The super-cute family highlighted, is the Mike and Stephanie Gerard family--such an amazing family, full of life and God's joy and love. Each one of us in the Tucker family claims a buddy in the Gerard family and you will easily be able to see why!! :) ~ Make sure you watch long enough to hear little Shekinah sing--it is WELL worth bringing joy to the heart and a smile to today!!

Maybe show this to your family and try the "dare" at the end. :) You may be wowed at what God wants to say through your children. We did the "dare" last night and it was incredibly special to later gather round on the living room floor as the children shared what God had revealed to them as they meditated on Psalm 23:1~each one was so different and so special. We grew.

Blessings as we all grow in waiting on God and knowing His voice more every day...

"My sheep will know my voice" (John 10)

(Ashley will be on the next "Daniel Dare" video we will post and then Jack and Anderson too! ~ stay tuned! )

Turn it into...JOY

2011-09-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

This was pressed on my heart for a precious friend...but I can't get it off my heart...its for me as I adore Jesus today...and my gift to you...
Blessings!

You bring restoration
You bring restoration
You bring restoration
to my soul

You've taken my pain
called me by a new name
You've taken my shame
and in it's place, You give me joy

You take mourning and turn it into dancing
You take weeping and turn it into laughing
You take mourning and turn it into dancing
You take my sadness and turn it into joy

hallelujah, hallelujah
You make all things new, all things new

Love, GG

Sow in the Morning....Harvest at Night...

2011-09-03T07:14:00.000-07:00

O Lord bless me and keep me cause Your face to shine on me
Lord be gracious lift the light of Your countenance give me peace

I live only to see your face so shine on me

Let the light of Your face shine down on my heart and let me feel it

~ from Psalm 4 vs. 6b.

Woke up to a Golden Morning this Morning
And this is what I am singing today.
And He is singing it back to me.

It is good to seek Him in the morning...
and to walk with Him through the rest of the day

"In the morning, O Lord,
you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my
requests before you
and wait in expectation."

Psalm 5:3

To sow our requests in the morning
and to harvest our praise at night...

This is what I am singing today.

Love, Gillian

Love Letters to Mimi

2011-08-30T22:56:00.000-07:00

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

Just about a week ago, on August 23, 2011, my precious Mother ~ in law, Laurie B. Tucker, passed away into the arms of Jesus. She was 68 years old.

Mom Tucker "ran the race of her life" WELL. ~ with so much Grace and Faith and Beauty.

She was a superb mother and raised three Godly children. Her husband, Richard was her best friend and they enjoyed 46 rich, joyful years of marriage. I loved all the visiting times I have had over tea with her for it was then that I got glimpses of her heart for those who did not know Jesus, or her love for God's word, or her tenderness for her family. She loved to be around her family and her laughter was a gentle breeze around the family table. Her voice was musical. She had enjoyed years of professional opera singing and solo singing for many large churches. One of Richard's special memories of his mom growing up was hearing her singing and piano playing in his home. He also remembers rocking in her lap and resting his head on his mama as she sung his favorite song, "Jesus Loves Me." Mom Tucker was a WONDERFUL teacher. She enjoyed many years of teaching and some of her favorites were with underprivileged girls in Atlanta.
I lOVED hearing her stories!   Having grown up in Atlanta,she was a southern girl at heart and could tell a colorful,tender, or funny story in a way that slipped quickly into your heart.I loved seeing all my children grouped around her as she would tell them and teach the littles....And even more, to see our children each have their turn with Mimi to sing praise songs at the piano--well it just doesn't get better than this in a family!!
She was diligent and hard working ~ quite a role model for self discipline and self denial for others. As well as a wonderful model for me when I was a young homemaker! For years, through the course of many different visits, we would hear her get up very early in the morning to get an early swim in at the Rockville, MD pool.
She also did retreat leading and was absolutely gifted at encouraging large groups of women.
She loved to be amidst her twelve grandchildren. I loved talking to her about her "tribe". I loved walking into a room and finding her with her bible or a devotional...I loved hearing the story of how when she was five she walked down to the front of the Billy Graham Crusade...and began a walk of love that day...I love that she loved people and was such a dear friend to so many women.

There is much more to be shared about Laurie Tucker.
She was a truly remarkable woman.

She ran her "race" so well.

And finished it in grace and triumph...

For the last two and a half years she had wrestled with ALS (otherwise known as Lou Gerick's disease). This is the terrible disease that paralyzes a person's body progressively. While her body gradually shut down, her spirit remained joyful.   I am told she never complained, so great was her dependence on God for her strength of heart, soul, and body.

On August 23, 2011, Our mom/Mimi went to be in the literal presence of Jesus. Her passing was like her illness, a drawn out endurance of pain and struggle but threaded through with such grace. She was surrounded by her beloved Richard (senior) and two of her children and their spouses as they prayed and sung hymns over her. The entire family ~ ours especially included in this~ keep the fires of prayer and watch burning continually during this week and still now. It was very difficult to be eleven hundred miles away from our family as they suffered a travail we wanted to shoulder with them. We are immensely grateful that in another week's time we will get to journey to Maryland (Washington D.C. area) to join our family and celebrate Mimi's life. We will be joining Richard's father,brother,sister, six young cousins, and a very close extended family including Laurie's Mother, Rachel and her brother and sister and their families. Please pray for the Tucker/Bunte/Wormald families next week. Laurie was greatly beloved and will be acutely missed. Please pray for travel mercies for so many traveling from long distances. And that Jesus will be greatly glorified at her celebration/funeral service next Saturday ~ she would greatly have desired this!

And please, keep Mr. Tucker in your prayers over the next season. his love for his precious wife was an epic one and deserves much honor and thanks to God who is the only one who can pour that kind of "BRAVEHEART" love into a heart. He never left his wife's side and tended to all her needs day and night week after week until it became year after year of loving care. How we admire his endurance as well as Mrs. Tucker's. The loved well to the end... may we all.

Richard Jr., my husband, is grieving but so thankful also for this relief for his mother. I am blessed to have days to tend to him as he grieves and processes his love for his mother...and so another Tucker generation walks in the good footsteps of forever marriage vows...Thank you for lighting the way, Mom and Dad...of the walk of love.

We are having a sad and sweet time with the children. They adored their Mimi. They will each need the closure of next week and also to represent and honor their unique love for her as they stand with the other precious grandchildren of Mimi. Mom Tucker told me several times, that she loved the way her Mother~in law passed away...to the touch and the sounds of her grandchildren surrounding her bed and singing hymns all around her. She would then ask, "Don't you think that's so beautiful?" We will be gathering her grandbabies next week to honor her good and precious name...more precious than silver...more costly than gold is a good name Proverbs says.

We each in our family look forward to next week to:

Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gates. Proverbs 31:31

My children came up with these descriptions of their grandmother this week (I loved being their scribe) :)...

Mimi Tucker was a

Kind

Generous

Nice

Loving

Funny

Full of Life

Caring

Lover of God

Lover of the Bible

Servant

These are some of the words that my children have shared with me this week as they have considered love for their precious Mimi. And I would say, praise such as this from the "mouths of babes" is most precious indeed!!

Please feel free to click on the "smilebox" below to listen to the love letters they have spoken over their precious Mimi. Please allow a little moment for all of Ashley's video's to load--go back to them--they are precious ;)--if you click on a video and want to see another---just click on it again to return it to its place.

This free scrapbook personalized with Smilebox

We love you, Mimi!! We love you, Grandpa!! We love you Family!! We love you dear friends of the family!

May blessings ring like bells. You are loved, You are loved, You are loved.

Love, Gillian

Leaning, Leaning ...

2011-08-26T16:35:00.000-07:00

We are praying for the East Coast as Hurricane Irene nears...

We believe this storm is not a coincidence...It is a severe mercy intended to provoke hearts toward repentance--

and back to WHO is

FIRST

--Love for God-- first -- and a seeking of understanding and knowing of who He is and what He feels and wants for us on a personal level and for our country. ...

to shake us .... and to wake us

up...upwards in our hearts to Him again...

There are many,many in America who need to turn from their own ways and seek God's leadership and fathering over their lives... (even for those who go to church and who believe that the Bible is true) ...a turning back is in order...we believe this storm and the earthquake are not a coincidence...or an unusual "happening"

We believe God is asking,

"Who do you say that I AM?"

We each have to answer this question. It is before us every day.

For those of you who love and seek God...who may find yourselves in the path of this storm...we have a testimony of the wonder and goodness of How God is a refuge to those who seek Him.

--I'm not talking about a one time cry out and then a forgetting of His face but for those who LEAN on Him...this is for you...

...this is also for those who want to turn away from their own way...who feel an awakening in their mind,emotions, and spirit as they trace the storm line on the T.V. with their eyes... and who may have felt the earth shake under their feet this week...and felt weight...a shaking...in their hearts...

Its time!...

...to turn away from selfishness and greed, from days spent on our own thoughts and ways with no consideration of what God's heart and ways are...

From drawing lines against Israel.

For being complacent in not standing for her...

(PLEASE be in prayer over the decisions our government will be making in the next 30 days regarding the lines in Israel)

For the same complacency with the horrors of human trafficking or abortion--the blood that calls up from our ground...

For dullness of heart toward God...for no love or worship toward Him...and yet we were constructed to worship so we instead turn our worship to materialism, Social Networking, and Pleasures and Business that fill up the hours of our day...

Turn back! Tonight!!! You can hide yourself in the name of Jesus, America...I love you, and that's why I speak so strongly here today...

We have a testimony about Jesus.

In May 2010...a devastation flood came to the Nashville area...

It was one of the severe mercies or judgements that He is allowing to come to America, to awaken her...back to Him...

God's beloved live in each these regions. We have heard miracle story after miracle story of how God protected the apple of His eye --those who seek Him first, not perfectly but in their way of living He is first--have been kept in obvious ways in Earthquakes in California,in floods in America, during Katrina,in Tsunamis in Myanmar, Tornadoes in Joplin...I would love to tell the stories we have heard ...they are beautiful..and fill us with courage...I will tell some... we see God's hand bringing labor pangs to the Earth as well as preparing the beloved heart of His bride all in the same stories...

Our Story

Our neighborhood in Franklin, TN, a suburb south of Nashville, is backed by the Harpeth River. One afternoon as it rained and rained the river went over the 100 flood plain line and then the 200 year plain..."No..it couldn't be...we watched from back streets and windows in our kitchens and bedrooms as the water filled our neighborhood swimming pool, then crested over the soccer fields, then rolled down the road from the club house toward the 200 homes in its path..

Within a few hours it crept toward the home we had brought so many of our babies home to

...foot

by
foot...

...soon flowing down our street.. filling up the land up to our mailbox level...

Times like this move too quickly and at the same time feel like a terrible slow motion movie--like you are watching yourself and experiencing this trauma all at the same time...by early evening...

The National Guard carried away our neighbors to places of safety...many neighbors of these 200 homes doubled up with the rest of the homes in our large neighborhood...many neighbors suddenly became roomates in the other 200 or so homes nearby...some had to flee in canoes..and on ATV's and boats...

Richard says, after he gathered our family into safety, that God burned on his heart to now turn and head back into the rising waters to find who may still be in the homes in our street. "I'm going with you!!" Our 8th grader, Graham insisted. Richard and I exchanged the same glance. We knew it was dangerous and at the same time saw the light of God's zeal and love in our young teens' eyes. "Let's get out there, son." They waded out into the night.

My 6 foot 5 inch husband waded through flood waters that by now were up to his waist, Graham's chest. By this time the river water had a current in it and all sorts of debris...gasoline...cat litter boxes...toys...trash...home items...all brushed alongside them...Their hearts were captivated with the those trapped and too weak to get our of homes...they carried out the elderly, helped a precious lady and her children that rented this home of ours at the back of the community get out, they found handicapped who were tethered to machines and chairs,hoisted little children on Graham's back and Richard's high shoulders, wrestled with and took scratches from terrified pets as they removed them from the pushing flood...these were the treasures to be saved of this night...

Dry, inside a home we had previously joked over, calling it, "The Ark" for it had so many dormer windows, one for every one of my children and foster children :)that year, we waited out that night in worship...

We claimed God as our Shepherd...we prayed in the name of Jesus...we LOVED Jesus...we claimed His blood's power over us...we sang in the refuge of God's "wings"...

He shook us and flooded us with... LOVE and TRUST and ADORATION of His leadership and goodness in a way that simply did not "match" the circumstances..

All through the watches of the night, I snuggled our eight children on the floor in the living room, and sung and prayed with worship praise from a 24/7 prayer and praise prayer meeting going on online.

As the children slept, I worshiped...I asked for God's hand to cover His beloved ones... and as I sat before Him, He flooded MY HEART...with His warm Presence...and with His love...all night long..

I listened in awe to the power of God's hand as the flood poured over us, He spoke back to me,

He really did.

He began by pressing an entirely new request on my heart. I could actually SEE in my heart what He was pressing on me to ask for. It was so powerful. He gave me this picture of a Shepherd with a long staff, standing in my backyard, I knew the Shepherd was Jesus and that I was to ask Him to put down His staff in the water...that, like the Red Sea, the waters would obey Him...I also felt strongly led to ask that the waters would not cross the threshold of our home...I did not know why I felt this so strongly on my heart but I prayed for these things many times that night...

Richard came in around 2 in the morning, covered with mud and oil and who knows what other substances that had been floating in all of that flood water..Most of his clothing he just discarded...after cleaning off..exhausted, Richard knelt next to me in the living room with all of our sleeping lambs there... there we waited...ON..so different than just waiting...we believed and bowed down to worship Jesus and to wait...on Him...

During the early morning hours...way before dawn...God's quiet voice spoke this clearly to my heart:

"Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him."

"Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment."

"Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him."

(Psalm 32:6)

and I stood upon it...it was a clear "NOW" Word of promise for our family.

I claimed it for us, for an neighbor who needed encounter from Jesus, and specifically for another family that God pushed and pushed on my heart that night ...I prayed for many but these were the lambs God laid promises on my heart for that night...

We had to wait for 3 days

To see what had happened to our home.

And, on that third day, as we waded to the back of neighborhood that day... we saw devastation...the majority of the homes around us were completely flooded--they had taken water all the way up to the 2nd story of their homes.

And at our home...the water had come to the yard...and then had stopped...at the threshold of our door...although it had filled the crawlspace and a garage area...not a drop entered in. There was a visible line where the water had held back at each of the three entrances to the home.

The only other dry home on the block was our neighbor who we have interceeded for over 10 years...as we gave one another a tearful hug the next day, our words were:

Gillian "Oh, we were PRAYING for you!! Look what God has done!!"

Neighbor "I KNOW you were praying. I KNEW you were that NIGHT!! I FELT it, Gillian!! and you know what? I WAS PRAYING. The night of the flood I was praying to God, to Jesus, and (he whispers) to the Holy SPIRIT!!"

May the storms of life--May the shaking s cause us to get down to worship.

Hide yourself in Jesus. Worship Him, consider Him, even as the storms come, let them tenderize your heart for Him and you will experience His glory. He IS our only refuge in the storm.

Oh, East Coast, we love you. We look forward to hearing your testimonies of how you ran into God and found refuge. Press into Him ~ He watches over His beloved in wondrous ways.

Love, Gillian

P.S as I write this, my little daughter, Ava (5 years) is singing, "You are my rock and there is no other!,You are my ROCK!!"

The LORD is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him.

(months later I discovered what the staff means in the Bible. That it is a symbol of authority and leadership...the threshold represents the place where the diety of the home resides--to cross it would be to cross the god of the home--God was directing me that night to ask for his LEADERSHIP and to claim Him as our shepherd, as the only TRUE GOD ~ the authority of our home)

Oh, HELP us, Jesus

2011-08-02T17:36:00.000-07:00

If we are a friend of God we will love the poor from our heart, through correct thinking,in loving and specific action,in selfless giving...for as we give to them...we are giving to the Kingdom of God's ROYALTY. The way we love the poor is literally the way we love God.

He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and He will reward him for what he has done.

Proverbs 19:17

The Pursuit...always the Pursuit...

2011-07-26T17:36:00.000-07:00

And now these three remain:

FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE.

But the greatest of these is LOVE.

(I Corinthians 13:13)

...THIS
is our new family secret...

We have a green plant that we use as a center piece on our dining room table. It is a simple houseplant with cheery spreading green "arms" and heart leaves.

Each night conversation, laughter, and singing,and prayer flows over this little humble plant as we sort through the days' business, lessons, trivia, triumphs, stories, and testimonies. And at the end of the meal we purpose to make sure we have fed everyone REAL,LIVING FOOD that keeps us ever-full and nourished--God's Word.
We bring verses that have impacted us in our day with the Lord and share them...or listen to one of the littles read a chapter that they have been reading in their cute lispy way...or we memorise a verse all together...or sing a verse together...

...the Holy Spirit will press on one of us to open up a piece of the Word and share it/ digest it with whoever God has brought to our table that evening. The corporate "chew" is an incredible dynamic.

I have learned and been taught by every member of my family here. For there is no "JR. Holy Spirit"!! He can speak through a child powerfully and clearly ~ maybe even more so than the adults many times! We are a flowy family more than a systematic one--so each night looks REALLY different but is rich and precious ~ truly alive. Then, after Word, we "work out" this word in worship in the living room--or I could say, since what God is doing here is so organic--our Word time that vines around the table springs into blooming,fruitful praising worship in our living room...

Before dishes...before bed... THIS...is my favorite portion of the day...

Recently, our fresh green "friend"lost a few leaves the night after our day spent picking blueberries this week. But for a very noble purpose! (Aren't the humble so often used for noble means?) :)

We love the Hebraic model of teaching aka. asking questions. As we impart things to the children. Our time had gone something like this:

"What was it like to find fruit on the blueberry bushes today?"

Oh, YES...EATING the fruit...that's best part for sure!!

"What was it like to see your bucket filling up with fruit?"

"What do you plan to do with all of that fruit?"

"What happens to a bush that is picked?"

YES! It makes MORE fruit..!"

"What about the branches that did not have fruit on them? What about them?"

"Why do you think they did not have fruit?"

You know...JESUS spoke about gardening and pruning and picking and fruit...does anyone know about this?

And God moved the conversation to our little plant on the table...and at this point our little friend lost two leaves for the betterment of our hearts!! :)

"AW! Don't pick off her leaves!!"

"But what do you think will happen to these leaves? Can we reattach them?
Are they getting that good life from the roots of our little plant or from the vine?
What's going to happen to these little leaves?" Lets watch them for a couple days and see... (...hint...for those who want to know...shrivel...shrivel...shrink...dry...dust....Poor little leaves...)

And now for the Word...Children, did you know there are SECRETS in the Bible? God says that if we seek Him out, He will be found and He will share the secrets of His heart with us ~ the secrets of the KING!! We are going to hide ICor. 13:13 in our heart.

It is a SECRET to life.

To ABIDING...

In Christ...

In anything that we are doing whether it is getting along in our family, or doing our work jobs, or in friendships or talents, we can ask this question of ourselves:

"Are we growing in Faith (in this area), Is (this area) full of hope to God? Do we see more and more love (here, in this area?) Let's take LOVING YOUR BROTHER as an example (hee!hee!~it had been kinda a rough day for this!!) You could love God in your room or anyplace and just lift up in your hands your love for your brothers~ you could ask yourself, "Did I grow in faith with God in the way I loved my brother today?...Or in the way I forgave my brother today?...cause growing in Faith is actually more important than being right about the card game..."How about my love, God? Did I grow in love with you today?"

Jack relates..."you know...its like God is always there but you have to accept Him and let His love grow UP,UP,UP around you. You gotta CHASE it down...like when I chase Bruik around the house!!!"

Bruik beams with pleasure.

"Yeah, you gotta chase love down"

And we read that NEXT verse about "pursuing love"... (later he dances this out in the Spirit in the living room...(see video below)

Then it is 10 year old Anderson who makes this connection. "OH! and when you find out that you need to love more you will realise that you JUST DON"T have the love you need. Then you are like the little green leaves on this plant...as long as you STAY close to Jesus,stay near to Him and repent from what is not love...HIS love will flow THROUGH you...it won't be work! The leaf just rests on the vine!!!" He puts his head on the table and grins. :)

"Whoa! " He rests...in knowing...in loving...in connecting with the one who brought this revelation to his heart...then...

"You know what? I found out today that I never have to be bored!"

All eyes on Anderson--after all we have been stuck in the house ALOT on 110 heat index days in Missouri summer heat. "All I need to do is to go in my room and turn on worship music on the radio and sing to God...and I'm never bored!" (and you are abiding my son...)He bounces over to our computer and puts worship music on REALLY loudly and I do not dare turn it down for the children are all so ready to dance...and we flow into worship...

Untitled from gillian tucker on Vimeo.

Untitled from gillian tucker on Vimeo.

...This is sweet Jack "Chasing God's Love Down" ~ Look, Mom! He said, "I'm Chasing Down ...I PURSUING God's Love....I chase Him and He chases me....and His love goes UP, UP,UP all around me...then I bring it to other people too...It heals them...God is chasing them down in His love too..."

Blessings, precious friends!!

Love,

GG

p.s. Blue Scarf Jack is using for dancing was brought back to us from Ethiopia by Ally P. at the time of the P. family's addition of their beautiful two Ethiopian girls :)

Safe...In the Arms of Love...

2011-07-02T06:05:00.000-07:00

After 11 months...our day has finally arrived...Daddy...Beloved Husband...

IS HOME!!!!

He packed all day Friday and Drove through the Night with our last Rented Truckful...

Coming home feels wonderful...

Our hearts are full of thankfulness!

Number Nineteen! :) ~ a dance to remember~

2011-06-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we celebrated Anniversary Number 19 with my Honey Yesterday On The 19th of June :)!!

AND on Father's Day!!

It was quite a day!! :)

After 11 months of expectant waiting, Richard is wrapping up his job in Nashville this next week and heading out to Kansas City to join us here in our call to be intercessory missionaries~ WAHOO!!!!!!~

We will have much to share soon about our continued journey for God is downloading even more in our lives and hearts as the time arrives for Richard to join us here.

So love my pastoring, compassionate, missionary-hearted man.~

Our hearts are full as we look back on this past year ~ it has been so full of the Father's heart.

We had an amazing treat yesterday ~ straight from the heart of Abba God. After spending the day as a family, at church,at lunch, at a local park...swimming...we next had an impromptu visit from two amazing young missionaries to Israel and Finland...the conversation and love around the table was full of power as they opened up a Hebrew bible and gathered up my children like a flock around them ....instructing them in Hebraic style questions...

Next, the young men put in a Dvd that was about one of the friend's, Michael's recent wedding in Israel...

So very rich and glorious to see the glowing lights of Jerusalem just beyond the white wedding canopy...

Then the young men led us all in Israeli circle dancing as we worshiped Yeshua, Messiah, Jesus ...

Brown hands...tiny feet...massive peach hands...boy feet...girl feet...man arms raised...women waist bowing...Dancing with my earthly husband of 19 years...in a circle full of our quiver of children...some from the nations...joyfully singing with these brothers...It stepped past the immediate now and brought heaven to earth...images of the coming kingdom and the joy to come circled in my heart as we went around the living room last night...

Wonder's overflow... thanksgiving for this man, my earthly Adam, the one I have to reach my neck to smile up to :)...

this one

that God has chosen for me to journey with...

the one who whispers courage in my ear and reflects who God has purposed me to be...

Father to so many...

some our birthed children, some brought from the nations,some still being brought to our door...

and the many to come...

the gift of marriage...God's wondrous gift for man and woman in every step as we traverse home to Him...

full heart for the inheritance of Godly children...

kissed up, raised up as a gift for Jesus...

AWARENESS

...of Holy wind and fire...

a real heart that beats...

pursuing us...

... the tension between joy that transports our heart to the Father
as well as the ache and burst in our heart for Jesus' remaking of everything to new...

at the arrival of His coming!!!!!!...

to His waiting...made-ready bride...

And on that day...in that time... His REAL hands and LITERAL feet dancing the wedding dancing with me...His bride...with US, His children!...and we will look and grin and smile over the sea of multi-colored children's heads...dancing ribbons of every color...swirling gifts from the nations to Him...as we laugh with Joy and spin in the lights of Jerusalem...

(the song we danced to last night...)

O Lord bless me and keep me cause Your face to shine on me
Lord be gracious lift the light of Your countenance give me peace

I live only to see your face so shine on me

let the light of Your face shine down on my heart and let me feel it

Blessings and Love,

Gillian

The love story..For HIM...For them...and For me

2011-06-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

This BEAUTIFUL post is from my friend, Sara. She is an intercessory missionary here at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City and a beautiful adoptive mom who has adopted 2 adorable preschool children from Ethiopia and now is in the process of adopting 2 elementary- aged girls from Uganda.

I love her heart--

It first burns in love for Jesus

Then flows out to others...

Kingdom love...Kingdom journey...

A fellow traveler on the road that leads into the arms of our Father...

That will end up

taking us

HOME...

This post is a reflection of where our hearts are these days as God is marrying in Richard and my heart,
adoration for Christ

and deliverance,

or as Sara would say,

"rescue"

into the broken places of the world...

bringing the "HOME" of God's heart to the world.

(I have highlighted this pitch-perfect section of her post in bold letters today)

Look up Sara's blog at:

Enjoy!!

The Rescue

Posted by Sara on Thursday, June 2, 2011 · 14 Comments

“I don’t want to grow up before my mom gets me.” She said the words my heart felt.

At eight, she isn’t waiting on a mystery. Adoption has been explained to her and though family is a new concept for her orphan-mind, she is being indoctrinated into the very thing I am, an ocean away. Waiting on a promise.

Adoption is never easy. What sits deep in the eye of the Father is a target for His enemy. The layers of testimony being built around the rescue of the vulnerable ones don’t go unopposed. Simultaneous to the glorious accounts we’ve received from friends who have visited with Hope and Lily has been the news that our story has hit some paperwork-related hurdles.

And Lily knows about those. The same little girl who kisses my picture on her wall knows that the path to her promise will have to be paved by Jesus.

“At least I have a mom,” she says in response to news of the potential delays. The child, whose daily comings and goings have never been under a mother’s watchful eye (though now under kind caregivers), finds peace in the whispers of me as if they were my arms wrapped around her. Something is better than nothing for the child who’s grown accustomed to nothing.

Hope still seems oblivious to the radical life change around her corner. She loved her pink nail polish, Molly’s treat. And bore smile after smile for a camera that would deliver gold to my inbox just hours later. Carefree and full of the delight that an outdoor playground solicits, the disconnect between this message bearer and those who sent her, obvious.

She appeared to brush away tears when she watched a video we sent, enamored with the kisses we blew across miles. Is it possible for a five year-old to feel the pain of waiting?

Three years between she and Lily seem like eons which have potential to wash away the innocence of youth. Young and fresh, malleable turned molded — needing re-molding. But for both of them, every day they are not under my roof is a day I’ve lost. A day I will one day have to ask back of the God who restores the years locusts eat.

There is something innate in a woman, created to protect her young at all costs, which adoption stirs up. I find myself explaining our adoption process to people as if I’m explaining the mortgage application process. Dry description, dry process because I lack words to explain the torrent going on within me.

I have daughters living minutes I don’t get to shape. The little-girl moments mothers are made to ponder are ones I only dream about.

++++++

Eden scoots into my lap, eyes on the floor and lower lip quivering. She lets down. “I’m sad Mommy,” she says as a precursor to the conversation we’ve had many times. My five year-old mourns the early years when she “didn’t get to be with Mommy and Daddy” and I can’t help but think of the two others on another continent whose time-cards reflect immeasurably more of those minutes which will one day need healing. Our home, soon to be a hospital for these type of heart-casualties.

Injustice spans the gap between where I live my days and where they grow more inches. And the horizon is pregnant with more waiting.

All of this can make a mother crazy.

And crazed I have been. Allured by the dark side of promise. It’s a faint fume which has set like a damper over my spirit, telling me that rest will come with the promise and that my stomach was meant to be in knots — and my heart awry — until the answer comes. Subtle alluring, couched in mission. Seeking the promise, instead of the promise giver, slowly becomes my goal. And I get heartsick.

Until the One who allures appears.

Adoption is not about a child. It’s about a Man. A God-Man who could end injustice in an instant and who does not look on the fatherless with hands tied behind His back. Instead, He works every angle for the greatest love story of all time to unfold.

The love story for Lily. For Hope. And for me.

He’s rescuing my heart and teaching me a trust that isn’t dependent upon human constructs. He’s alluring me to love which, when I melt weak at its feet, does not allow me to leave that place unchanged. He’s awakening me to an encounter that infuses peace in a valley of darkness.

He calls us to justice not because He needs our acts of justice, but because — in doing so — we find Him. We learn Him. We brush up against a love that does not leave us with a little bit of Jesus to add to our already-formed mission but leaves us hungering for a Man that will change every dusty corner of our lives.

Adoption reveals His relentlessness. For them. And for me.

Whether a month from now or six months from now or a year from now, when I get to hold Lily for the first time and my lips grace Hope’s forehead as if they’d been there a thousand times before, there is one thing I’m desperate to have found.

More of this Man Jesus. More of this One who keeps calling me to walk across a tight-rope and promises I’ll find Him safe in every step.

The end is a Man. Not exclusive to adoption, the end of every promise who’s seen the sweat of waiting, is this Man.

My inbox has been flooded lately with questions about adoption (if I haven’t yet responded to you, I haven’t forgotten you — it usually takes me a few days to respond) and I’ve been tempted to craft an auto-reply that says:

Adoption is for the hungry. If you want to know more of Jesus and are willing to get a little undone in the meantime, sign up. You can’t pursue a child without being consumed by His pursuit of you.

Delivering the Orphans...Will Begin With my Own Heart...

2011-06-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

Sid Roth - It's Supernatural Messianic Vision: Leif Hetland - Healing the Orphan Spirit

Mothering ....in the Rains....

2011-05-05T12:52:00.000-07:00

We have had a DOWNPOUR of rain this morning. In
the midst of it we gathered to the living room window to check on our nesting robin bird out in the peach tree next to the window.

And as we did...I was given an early Mother's Day present ~ one of the sweetest I have ever received ~

Anderson leaned across the sofa and leaned his forehead onto the cool window pane.

"AW! She's getting wet in the rain!!"

Aggressive Sheets of rain blanketed our precious little lady, hunkered down deep in her nest with her wing over her face...Only bits of tail feather and nest running with water were visible from my children and I in our toasty dry room...

Jackson dissappeared... with a faint "I'll be back"....

Anderson thumped his head on the glass--gently as to not frighten our friend...

"Man....She's SO wet..."

He leaned back,

"Mom, she's SACRIFICING herself for the eggs."

(Oh, my baby...The glory weight upon that sentence.)

"They are such good parents."

(my heart sinks and feels tens of things...none of which related to pride or pleasure...)

I am out done

Undone

By a feathery friend in the rain...

Then I get my gift

Like all the best gifts it is a gift of

Simple Grace.

"Mommy, you're like a robin bird!"

He leans back to the window petting the glass--reaching toward her in protection...

"You're like sisters."

And from the corner windows at the other edge of our room...

We hear a splash,splooosh,wack,brushy.splash!!!

And look out to see Jack...dressed in his winter coat, and under a pink umbrella

Bare feet splashing in puddles

Riding in to bring a lady a "brella" in the rain.

We run interference but laugh with the adorable compassion :)

And,...My eyes see wings

Over me

Over ~ Parenting,Mothering, ~ all

Kept

in a Nest

In the Palm of HIS hands...

And when the rains come...

Sheltered....

Under the Shadow of HIS wings....

Love, Gillian

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now...

A precious gift to you today....

From my full nest to yours...

My heart so resonated with this message today, that as Mothers we do not have to "BE" the Hallmark card...

...there is grace...

for

"He gently leads those with young"

Isaiah 40:11

Please click on the sentence below to go to Ann Voscamp's blog for a treat

A Holy Experience -- For the Mother who Fears Failure...

Gotta Love it!! :)

2011-05-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

Don't you LOVE it when the children learn how to write? :)

another pic of Joyful Jack :)...taken by Anderson...
in a "snowstorm"...in the rec room...

:)...just noticed the dude scaling our bookshelf...

Yep.

After all the hours stuck inside due to several snow storms....MAMA was itching to climb some bookshelves!!

BUT,
The Sledding was the BESTest!!

A long winter made us so thankful for ~

Leafy trees to climb again ..
   for finding big sis up there reading in the big ole maple in the    back !!...
   for runnin' around and
   for "just hangin' out"
            on bright blue playground slides warmed by friendly sunshine...

AHhhhhh....so nice!
Happy Springtime everyone!

Love, G

Child of Wonder....Child of God....Oh, my Boys...

2011-05-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

Cute Little Boys!!

Three of the Tucker brothers share a room.

10,7,and 6 year olds

And last night they made me laugh!!

We were going through the evening routine when the subject of marriage came up. :)

Jack, all business announces, "Marriage, yeah..."He saunters over to his lower bunk and swings himself in... "I've got that ALL figured out."

"Oh, really?" I laugh :)

"YEAH!" Bruik peeks out of his covers, Big almond eyes shining with excitement,

"ME TOO!"...He exhales....I'm going to be

RICH.

(oh,NO, I'm thinking....we've got alot of training to do here!!)

But he stands up on his covers and declares,

"Yeah, I'm gonna be RICH cause I'm going to marry my wife and we are going to take care of hundreds of babies"

"Yep,...me too" Jack still so matter of fact..."gonna adopt alot of kids and take care of them."

Bigger bother chimes in from the top bunk...

"Well, I'm making a list...I may not know her YET...but maybe I MIGHT..." He stuffs his head into his pillow while his brothers explode with OHHHHHhhhhhh noises and reved up laughter

...bigger brother turns a shade of light red....

He stuffs his head in the pillow to not reveal any more sound of heartstrings playing...and we hear "Well, I am making a list."

They all calm for a second in the midst of some hyper giggles to each give sweet lists of who they pray God will pick for them in their future wife...

And I am thankful, honored to be sitting a bottom bunk in the midst of lego creations,army men, books, and paper airplanes...suddenly not so rushed to keep to the schedule...we dream of courting and dates, and beautiful ladies who are kind and generous, who love Jesus with all their hearts, and who love my boys...

And I am thankful I get to be their girl first...

They listen to sappy stories...about how Daddy and I first met ....and how we "knew"

They grin ...my junior knights...

How blessed three fair maidens will be one day...

The moment is mist --in just a moment laughing returns

and body noises replace deep heart sharing...:)

Yep, time to get these guys tucked in...

But to go off to pray and wonder over precious destinies of the boys I get to steward...

The weight of the day has all fallen off in the past minutes...what glory can surprise us in our every day moments!!

Blessings to the boys in your camp!!

Treasure Em :)

Take it from a mama who now buys shaving cream for her oldest son

It "all" is over...in just

Moments...

Treasure them

Love, Gillian

Remember me
In a Bible cracked and faded by the years
Remember me
In a santuary filled with silent prayers

CHORUS:
And age to age
And heart to heart
Bound by grace and peace
Child of wonder, Child of God
I'll remember you
Remember Me

Remember me
When the color of the sunset fills the sky
Remember me
When you pray and the tears of joy
fall from your eyes

CHORUS

Remember me
When the children leave
their Sunday school with smiles
Remember me
When they're old enough to teach
Old enough to preach
Old enough to leave

CHORUS

Age to age and heart to heart
Child of wonder child of God

Remember me

Age to age and heart to heart
Child of wonder child of God

A GREAT Idea for a Super Summer

2011-04-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

For all you moms out there who LOVE all things organized and ....for those of you who may be "organizationally challenged" like (ahem) myself :). (I'm really more of a "go with the flow" girlie).... Here's a great program to get us ready for Summer with our Kiddos!!

The other morning I was praying through this upcoming season. When I got to school, a lovely mom, Laura C., Anderson's bible teacher, handed me this book, The Super Summer Challenge, written by her sister-in-law, Linda H. Wicks.

You can find it at www.supersummerchallenge.com

Linda came up with a wonderful idea to challenge our kids to accomplish Goals in multiple levels--Spiritual,Physical,Mental, Caring/Sharing etc...

There are points for each area to be worked toward --short term and long term goals and a family reward for the end of the summer.

I love that the whole family is working together as they grow!!

I know that the kids will LOVE this idea because my mom used to do challenges like this with my younger brother, David, and I over our summer breaks. The first day of the summer she would reveal a wonderland of projects, and interesting activities in our garage and lists of ideas for activities for the summer that kept us growing,learning, and loving all summer long. I do believe our summers turned us into readers, taught us how to organize our time, brought out our creative streaks, made us into good friends--first with one another and with our neighbors. We were given opportunities to make lunches and snacks that taught us how to love cooking and creating in the kitchen. Other activities turned us into lovers of the outdoors and made us contemplative and great observers-- I still love taking a hike and knowing how to identify wildlife along the route. We also developed practical chore skills, worked ahead--even though we did not know it at the time in school skills...I spent hours singing and making up songs...David learned several instruments...Most treasured, were the times we grew in the Lord when we would visit nursing homes and sing together or bake cookies with a neighbor or memorize scripture together or read through awesome books that grew our hearts such as the Patricia St. James series....SOoooomany memories...of our dog Taffy running after the family on bike rides, of playing tag with neighbor kids AND my mom and dad into the night,of catching fireflies, laying in the grass and imagining and looking up at clouds, making a doll house out of cardboard and all the furnishings too, dressing up the dog and the cat in my baby clothes and taking them on stroller rides (oh, they were so embarrassed!), selling lemonade,making card towers......cheering and swimming at swim team matches....digging a humongous hole in the back yard and lighting campfires in it....

My own kids later would tell similar stories of long days streatched out in to glorious wonder...

AHHhhhh.... Summer!!!! It does NOT have to dreaded ;)
I grew up not allowed to say the word, "bored". Don't think I understood the word!
How was this in a world with no T.V.,computer,or video games?
Ahh....perhaps the LACK of these was the blessing!!!

These days are more challenging. Entertainments seem to push in from every angle. Draining our kids of imagination and good ole pure learning, fun,play,growth. And I find my most challenging times with patience and love between siblings and for growth in my home is when the things with electric cords start to push out the REAL life in my home. I'm putting a mark on this Summer--taking back the land!!--Anyone want to join me? Last night our Wii found a new home--the inside of my closet...and you know what? Instead of upheaval, my ten year old son woke up this morning and after heading out to weed the garden with me and have a breakfast smoothie at the picnic table he smiled at me and said, "You know what, mom? Just knowing the Wii is put away for a while makes me feel really new inside. I feel...kinda...clean." ....

".something new is growing up, can you not perceive it?"

We played and at a park today began our goal lists--eventually they will be written on poster board and revealed the first day of summer--there is a system for recording points and setting goals...but for now we have a lot of anticipation for growth this summer--not just from me but from the kids. I love that they will own their own challenge.

So far the boys have come up with so many cute and interesting and really useful ideas. I loved, read a book to my brother and learn how to make a meal for the family one night a week and look up a dictionary word and teach it to the family at dinner...learn how to do a cartwheel....play chess...clean up toys without being asked...make a creation out of recycled items...play legos for 45 min.... One even suggested to memorize Matthew 5 and to "write a letter to God" during his days....

Below, another mom has put together a sample chart of the activities and points for her family's summer challenge. I hope it is helpful to take a look at it--and the link above to Linda's book is a gem as well.

I encourage you to redeem the time this summer. Our days are so fleeting and our children's destiny so precious.

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:2)

Love, Gillian

Luke 10:27 Way Of Life Planning Sheet

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Start Date:	Katie (Age 10)		Hollie (Age 8)
End Date:	Point Value	Points Earned	Point Value	Points Earned	Item(s) Needed
Tasks that Focus on Loving God
Heart (Pursuing Interests & Passions)
1. Make a bracelet	1		1		Bracelet Kit
2. Complete a sewing project	3		3		Sewing Kit
3. Cook something new	2		2		List of simple recipes kids can make http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/kids
4. Write and illustrate a story	3		3
5. Write a poem	2		2
6. Perform a song in front of 1 or more people			3
7. Write a script and act out 1 scene	3
Soul (Spiritual Growth)
8. Memorize books of the bible	5		5		Print an Old and New Testament test kids can take when they are ready to show what they’ve learned.
9. Memorize a bible verse from ones provided	1		1		Print verses from http://www.diggingouttogether.com/ organizing_tips/images/200710_Verses_To_Heed.pdf
10. Complete a daily devotion	2		2		Purchase an age-appropriate devotional
11. Read the bible for 20 minutes	1		1		Age-appropriate bible
12. Apply a bible verse to a current situation	3		3

	Katie (Age 10)		Hollie (Age 8)
	Point Value	Points Earned	Point Value	Points Earned	Item(s) Needed
Strength (Physical Dvlpt & Forming Good Habits)
13. Brush your teeth five days in a row without being told	1		1
14. Clear the table after a meal without being asked	1		1
15. Eat 3 servings of fruit and/or vegetables every day	1		1
16. Try a new food (1 point per bite up to five)	1-5		1-5
17. Jump rope without stopping (Katie: 125 times, Hollie: 65 times)	2		2		Jump Rope
18. Pick up brick from 10 foot			3
19. Swim 1 lap at YMCA	1		3
20. Attend Saturday morning yoga class	2		2
21. Pick up sticks in the yard	1		1
22. Complete a parent-approved chore that is not normally your responsibility (1 point for every 15 minutes worked)	1		1
23. Organize a drawer, shelf or area of a room (before and after photo required)	1		1		List of areas in the home to organize (craft closet, desk drawers, etc.)

	Katie (Age 10)		Hollie (Age 8)
	Point Value	Points Earned	Point Value	Points Earned	Item(s) Needed
Mind (Academic Growth)
24. Play an educational online game for 15 minutes	1		1
25. Read a nonfiction chptr book	3		3
26. Create a Power Point presentation	5
27. Learn how to type			5
28. Practice cursive for 15 min.			1
29. Create your own stationary	1		1
30. Create a scrapbook page	3		3
Tasks that Focus on Loving Your Neighbor
31. Write a one-page letter to a friend or family member	2		2		Stationary
32. Serve at a homeless shelter	1		1
33. Visit a nursing home	2		2
34. Take food to a neighbor	1		1
35. Babysit a neighbor’s child (1 point per fifteen minutes)	1		1
36. Send a thoughtful e-mail to a friend or family member	1		1

Stir It Up

2011-04-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

We enjoyed a royal wedding this morning.
And it did not disappoint!

Ashley and I stumbled out of sleep to head downstairs to experience,

A lovely bride,
heavenly choral music,
a nation swept up with Joy...

What impacted my heart most:

The Name of Christ Jesus sung and spoken within the ethereal spaces of Westminster Abby. And out to Mega Screens before a nation on holiday in Hyde Park.

NEXT, my heart skipped a beat as we watched and heard the name of Jesus in our own land...
In the "Big Apple"
There He was...in name and honor.. presiding over the Christian wedding...His name and renown broadcast live on Broadway in New York! No matter what the intent...No matter what the traditions that went into planning the service...there He was...

Really think of it--His name broadcast across the ENTIRE internet and so many countless networks bringing that powerful,alive name, "Jesus" into living rooms across the world.

A glimmer of light...

More than a glimmer, really,...more like a
technicolor SPLASH!!!

Misty-eyed, I watched the prince arrive with his brother,
Arriving in full uniform to the Abby for his bride.

She, arriving a "commoner" under her veil
And leaving as royalty with an uncovered tiara gracing her head.

A foretaste of the day when there will be a name..
A King... who will not share rank with any other government or country...

"and of His government there will be NO end"...

And also a retelling of the ancient story of a bride...
Waiting in common life.

In other tales she may be overlooked

or unforgiven...

Cast Out...

Unloved, perhaps.

The Press would not like this one...

She has not always waited well...

Yet royal love and blood flowing through the lines...
Washing THIS story snowy white...

We heard its echo, felt its pull this morning...

In the stomp of horses hooves, in the blush behind the veil,

In garments and crowns and heads of State...

In ancient hymns and proclamations...anchored to the Original Kingdom...
That of the one true God Jehovah, His Living Holy Spirit, and His Beloved Son...

This King's name cannot be written out of textbooks or politely be placed to the side in our government speech...it buoys up...

Or...flickers...

like a flame that can never be blown out...

Instead, in our finest hours...we find that the Kingdom of God is calling us...
home...

It is woven into all things best,brightest,most hopeful and promising

Bringing Life

Pointing to a Single Creator,

Lover,

Savior

Royal of all...

The sweetest name, "Jesus".

WORTHY of adoration, WORTHY of praise!!
Worthy of the wait!!

Will we answer the songs He sings over us?

Will we open our royal wedding invitation and reply,

"YES"

"yes."

oh, yes

Love,
Gillian

Because it is so easy to forget my identity...my inheritance...
In the wait of everyday life

Here is a reminder of our vows to our bridegroom God.

This style of prayer could be called, Proclamation Prayer...

This is straight from Hebrews 11

Hope it is a gift to you...
a wedding gift of sorts :)

<p>&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://somethingelserecords.com/track/a-confession-of-faith"&amp;amp;gt;A Confession of Faith by Ben Woodward&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;</p>

"A Time to Start Looking"

2011-04-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

My mind is full of "beautiful" today.

Outside, the brilliant blue sky is Mediterranean blue with pure white clouds rocking and traveling across like party boats.

The wind has played with our hair today and blown "helicopter" maple seeds whirling around like Spring confetti all throughout the air and yard.

Writing to you here from my writing desk, a gentle robin bird graces me with the privlege of her trust by fluffing herself down into a woven nest of grass in the tender green peach tree framing our living room window. We have been watching her for a week now, swooping down to pluck tuffs of grass and to return to a V in her sheltered spot.

Little boys have been shewed and warned away from our birdie nursery...and sent to their rooms for climbing up for forbidden peeks none the less--how could they help themselves?

Robin bird made us break out in muffled laughter as we piled and balanced on the sofa by the window and watched her through glass panes. As she busied herself with housekeeping that evening, she flashed us all with her plump bottom--tail feathers so prettily arranged, like a little petticoat.

How amazing our God is in His creative design..even the robins get undergarments!!..

..Today, beyond the little tree, further out in our yard, Ashley, our 16 year old, suns herself in the yard, soaking in Bible homework in the sun... her face is uplifted now...I think she is enjoying more than the sunshine, heart gazing in enjoyment on the One who made this warmth as a love-gift for her....to mark the days and seasons of her life...until she is with Him for ever...

His...forever...

.Much more distance away but so close to our heart today...a young girl in far away England will be married tonight...

and become a princess...

I will be setting my alarm for the wee hours of the morning ~ and I do not feel this is over- romatic to do so ~
Can you see my girlie grin????

Rare,pure celebration in the midst of the recent shakings and birth pangs of the World....
...this is one celebration that needs to be savoured!!

~ "a time to laugh"~

~ 'a time to dance'~ *

~ I would not miss for the world the carriage ride, the flowing train, the flowers, intimate looks exchanged,the beautiful bride, a glowing groom, a nation filled with Joy !!!

Yet, what pulls me awake and allows me to set my alarm for 3:45 this Friday morning is not only a life-long love for romance,beauty and love...

it is all of this...

plus something...

that sings of what is REAL.... Whispered proclamation of the day of the return of the King of All Kings...

On that day in which we will ALL have a front row seat...and every knee will bow...

And as I have felt, especially recently...

the groan...

of global earthquakes,and southern floods and tornados here at home, the ache of human tragedy, nations caught up in upheavals and rumors of war....

I cannot help but remember the loving warning Jesus gave us about all of this.

...to...look up...

just as we would in our daily lives to check the the weather for the day...He reminds us to look around and to know that these specific global signs are the beginning of a beginning of .. expectant waiting...for the King's return...He has said that at His return, all those who believe in Him will rule and reign with Him...there will be

garments,crowns, assignments..

.but what I see and feel is...

His Presence...standing next to Him...access to the King of Kings...

But not just politically or as an invited guest...but as His beloved...His radiant bride...dressed in a wedding gown prepared without spot or blemish because of what we just celebrated this Sunday in our Resurrection worship...
How can it be....oh, how can it be...that we who believe in Jesus ARE royalty...But on the other hand...those of you who believe and belong to Him...

...can't you sense it?..."that" day approaching?...

As women have we not pretended and daydreamed of what is most beautiful? As men what is most excellent,strong, and victorious? I see this in my children. In my two daughters..."Mommy am I beautiful? Does this make me look like a princess?" I see it in my four sons as they pick up sticks and stalk around the backyard guarding and prevailing over the kingdom of dandelions and springtime green. Oh,my....it makes me want to live differently in the mundane moments and more heroically in the challenging times...to know what I have been invited into...
...to understand what is coming...
That, as C.S. Lewis so aptly proclaims it in His Narnia series,
surely "Aslan is on the move"...

Blessings Precious Friends,
Gillian

* (verse quotes from Ecclesiastes 3)

Below here I have placed a gift for you. :) A look into a wonderful book.
Very rarely do I read a book and say that it has changed my life..
One Thousand Gifts has broadened my heart and has made me more in tune to the voice of Christ. God has used it to make Joy reign again in my heart through the practice and worship of thankfulness and awareness of His Presence in all aspects of daily life. I wish I could send out copies to everyone I know and love. This is a worthy read!!
Another bit of "beautiful" to lift up my heart in thanks to God today...

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, Excerpt

Heart's Cry

2011-04-27T09:51:00.000-07:00

A little gift of some amazing Truth and Worship today.
...to continue a DAILY celebration of His resurrection
...of the power,life, and relationship,
promise and hope
He brings to our every moment...

Love and Grace,

Gillian

Family Updates to Come :) :) :)

Only He can See the End from the Beginning...

2011-02-10T13:50:00.000-08:00

Hello, my precious friends! Yes, it has been a while... it has been very rich, very good these past six months here in Kansas City at the IHOP Missions' Base...some we will share soon...Here's a hello gift to you all today...this is what Jesus has been singing to my heart this week...may you be blessed by this song over you as well today...

Love,Gillian

I knew what I was getting into when I called you.
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name, but I said it just the same.
I knew what I was getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into.

I knew what I was getting into and I still chose you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name, but I said it just the same.
I knew what I was getting into.

And I am not shocked by your weakness.
And I am not shocked even by your sin.
And I am not shocked by your brokenness.

I knew what I was getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still like you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still chose you.

Cuz only I can see the end from the beginning.
And only I can see where this is going.
And only I can see the end from the beginning.
And I see in you the seeds of love.
And I see in you strength when all you see is your failure and all you feel is ashamed.
I can see deeper than that.
I know you better than that.

I knew what I was getting into when called you.
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name.
I said it just the same.
I knew what getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still like you.

Your only at the beginning.
You've only just begun and I know where you are going
And all you can see in the moment is that your hurting.
And all you can see in the moment is that your aching.

I knew what I was getting into when I called you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still like you.
I knew what I was getting into when I called you.

Just don't give up.
And don't give in.
If you don't quit. You win, you win.

Just don't give up.
And don't give in.
If you don't quit. You win, you win.

Everything is in my hands.
It's going to be alright.
Everything is in my hands.
It's going to be alright.
It's going to be okay.
Everything is in my hands.
It's going to be alright.
It's going to be Okay.
And you don't have to pretend to be something or someone your not.
Cuz I know you better than that, even better, even better than that.
Listen my Beloved.

I knew what I was getting into when I called you.
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name.
I said it just the same.
I knew what I was getting into and I still like you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still chose you.

Come on over!

2010-10-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

We have a new website/blog that has a ton of information of our new journey to be missionaries with the IHOP ministry--please come over and see us over here... :)

http://tuckerfamilylovesjesus.blogspot.com

Blessings today, everyone,

Love,

Gillian

Strings

2010-10-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

A love song for Jesus...

May our hearts cry this out in every season...

From Every Family and Nation...

Strings ~ By Misty Edwards

I want to play the strings of Your heart God
Come play the strings of mine
I want to sing straight to Your heart God
Come sing straight to mine

Lord You have my heart(3x)
And I am searching for yours

Lord You have my thoughts(3x)
And I am searching for Yours

Lord You have my song(3x)
And I am searching for Yours

I'm so in love with You
I'm so in love with You
I'm so in love with You Jesus

Love, Gillian

Sweet Video of Daisy ~ Aday Launch Today!! ~ This is the Day the Lord has Made! We Will Rejoice and be Glad in it!!~ Our Homemade Designs to Support Full-Time Missions and Ministry Work for Our Family

2010-10-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

Digital invitation generated with Smilebox

The adventure begins...

2010-10-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

The Beginning of our Journey to Kansas City, MO. Richard and Graham and Annie the dog :) drove in the Budget truck. The other 5 children, Tigger the cat, and I rode in the Suburban...

Our home....in a box...on wheels...

We have been in Kansas City for two months today. Since we pulled out onto the rode to drive out to become intercessory prayer missionaries and to pour ourselves into evangelism and justice service here, I have been trying to get my heart into words...I haven't yet so let me just write some impressions down to share where we are today...

We are awed beyond words at HOW GOOD it is to listen to God's voice carefully and then to jump up to obey with what we call among our family "first time obedience".

Well, in the photos above you can see us leaving sweet Tennessee that has been our home for the past 16 and a half years...we are excited and joyful...and HOT...oh, so HOT --just drippy and sore and tired from packing--we are EVER grateful to the Bonner,Pedicini, Couch, and Chaney families for loaning us your strong men!! and to Maria Lee and Eliana for packing and encouragement and ALL the Dubois family for your incredible service and love, hugs, and cookies :) THANK YOU!!!!! YOU just made our moving experience possible!! We just were OVERWHELMED with friends and family that literally went beyond themselves on those HOT humid August days--I don't think I've ever been warmer--it was QUITE uncomfortable weather to work with!! But the guys were incredible--they jumped into the truck and got things organized and in a couple of hours it all was packed. Heart-sickness of a very sweet but painful variety came on me as the packing made moving off to our new calling so real and now--seeing sweet Sarah and her precious children at my picnic table on that steamy days made the tears begin to flow--a picture of precious family that Christ has made for us faithfully and lovingly in the Nashville area--and having to say goodbye to so many sisters and brothers and littles that we love so dearly--it was tough--those last hugs and blessings...seeing those beautiful ones through tear- filled eyes...And like Dorthy....(in the W of Oz) it boils down at the end to the last goodbyes...to the "tin men"," the scarecrows",and the "lions" of your life--you know who you are, my precious ones!!--no ruby slippers to "click" me back now...

...and yet this over-riding, STRONG realization --I can just feel it--almost SEE it--of the golden-paved road we are all on together as believers on that road--bringing us home to the Kings' land...we are only separated for moments in our individual journeys until that day...

All packed, clothing absolutely SOAKED with perspiration and no clothing left to change into --its all packed!! Run into the house for a final look through...and to find an odd, forgotten (dry!) shirt of Richard's to pop on--he's so tall it drops to my knees... Hug one last dear, dear friend, sister, and neighbor in the driveway...And then pack up all the excited littles and exhausted Ashley and Graham and Richard, our cat, our dog, and I into the car and our truck...we drive over to Tracy's home to say goodbye to family friends and our compadres in the adoption world...so many more we would have wanted to hug as well if time had allowed...Tracy and Jimmy so beautiful even in jammie wear :) greet us with hugs and lay hands on our overheated backs(bless them!) --they send us off with prayer--and Tracy in her gentle, wise way speaks life over us and ends with, "This has glory all over it. I feel like you all are getting into boats and going up to Jerusalem." At that point my heart "pops" and the tears start flowing--they are unstoppable now...

"Sweet" grief--when you are in God's pocket and willingly laying something down for the wonder that He has placed before you-- is different than the pain of other grieving I have done through the years-sweet and salty...high and low, major and minor notes combining to make melody in the heart...

We spend the night at my parents' home that night--more precious people to say final goodbyes to...the next morning we awake to a birthday breckfast #41 at my mother's table complete with balloons, and homemade necklaces and lays from the kids--how funny!--I'm decked out with them all as we walk out to the truck...Hard to squeeze parents goodbye who have moved to a region to be with you~ who have served and loved and cheered over every stage of our life in Franklin,Tn~ to be far away again....we already know what this pain is like...

We pile into the trucks and head down the road--the trip is smooth and cheerful. The tears come again...for about the first 500 miles, as I watch Tennessee disapear sign post by sign post and then say goodbye to the Kentucky region...God presses image after image on my heart of all that He did in our journey in this area--faces, events,more faces,promises, promises fulfilled, scripture, sweet reminders, go before my eyes...so thankful for the growth...for the pain..for the mundane and the joys... that made us who we are today...for the place where God brought two newly married, immature man and woman and brought them up so well ...I am overwhelmed, I am thankful, I am in pain... and I cry and I cry and I cry--"Its o.k. kids, Mommy's o.k....these are thankful, joyful tears..." and they really are...

...It is now really dark...it is 3 am in the morning...We arrive in Kansas City, Mo...now expectant...really joyful...incredibly exhausted..hungry...without clothing--in all the packing my carefully packed overnight bags have been placed and locked in the big truck...and curious with a lot of excitement...a piece of a verse of scripture runs over and over in my head as I press out the tiredness of my hands on the wheel..."Here we are, Lord, "send us...in the name of your book it is written of us...we delight to do your will..."

We get out our stapled mapquest maps and direction notes and wind- down neighborhood streets in the ultra quiet of the early morning hours. I am very aware of how loud the truck must be to the slumbering people we are passing by...

We have been unable to make final contact with a real estate agent who has arranged our rental home for us--we have only seen it online and was hard to aquire--not many were available and phone tag has not gone well--it actually has been a very frustrating experience with such lack of detail and no one to just walk into an office and make things happen for us. Even while stopping at rest stops we have been trying to make contacts and it just has felt like running into a high obstacle ... its weird to experience this in the middle of so much confirmation that God is calling us out to Kansas City...

We arrive at the house and fumble for keys, for lights... and try to not wake the louder of the littles who would announce our presence and awake the block--or the one who just might wander off as we are checking things out inside....ack!;)..try to keep the animals from bolting too...

At this point...exhausted and now covered in OLD sweat and grime...as we open the door to our unforseen home...we are blasted with a STRONG odor of mold...

uh oh....

Richard and I each avoid eye contact as we bring the children in one by one and check out a home that is nothing like it was represented online..

.uh oh....

becomes

OH, NO!....

it doesn't have closets...the basement is open to the garage...it is not finished...this room is not heated...this place is DIRTY...and my throat is BURNING...the children that have had allergies and Asthma in the past begin to cough...we look at the truck...and look back at the house...

OH NO.....Lord,

what...WHAT are you wanting us to DO?...

We bring in the animals--poor Tigger is SOOOoooo stressed out---he meows a loud complaining cry over and over as he stalks around on the kitchen counter --picking his paws over sticky,dusty spots on the tan linoleum...my heart is crying in the same way, Tigger...!!

We drag in blankets and try to make clean beds on the floor--the kids all lined up like sleepy dominos in little lines all over this dreary floor...Rich and I squeeze onto a bit of blanket and hold hands and attempt to look at one another...our eyes are saying the same thing...

My husband who could sleep on a coal pile in the bright light of day--he can sleep anywhere, easily at any time--lies there wide eyed...

"I'm not going to get ANY sleep tonight, Gill--this is awful."

I can only cough--by this time my eyes and lungs are REALLY burning--"I'm going to only say awful things...we better pray instead of talk..." (to confess, all I am thinking is ...my birthday has just arrived --August 7th and here we lie in the grim of something else to deal with--' Crappy Birthday to me'!!) Yep--isn't that TERRIBLE?! ....it was a necessary thing to keep the mouth shut....and to tell the heart to be quiet too--it can be so unfaithful and such a liar--especially when the body is weak and tired...

We start to pray and feel God's Presence come gently to us, we are calmed...we are able to think clearly....we make a plan for our escape from this home AND praise God that all the details for it dropped through and did not happen so that we could be saved from having to pay rent on something that would be dangerous for our family. We make ourselves lie down for a LOOONG two hours and then hastily gather the family up and scoot out and shush the loud questions of the kids outside... before the neighborhood wakes up and maybe wonders about this truck "camping out" at the rental house down the street...

For the next 5 days...we are living at a hotel...searching during the days for a house to rent...life is complicated on two fronts...Tigger and Annie are still with us--we can't leave them in the hot weather --Missouri is hitting 100-110 heat index this week and so it is a constant problem to find them shade and to re-aircondition the car by driving it around--plus the fact that the dog LOVES the cat but the cat hates the dog...we are dealing with a cat box in the over-packed car (yikes!) plus the aromas of wet dog food in the heat ...I also am getting sick...I have cut myself on something on moving day on my arm and my leg and both cuts are getting very red and hot and a rash that looks like poison ivy is spreading all over my leg and arm--it is swollen and gets worse in heat until the tissues ache underneath--no escape from heat right now!!...

The kiddos are hanging in there SO well but are going stir crazy in the car...We are living off of snacks and fast foods and the breckfast bar at the hotel...and all our clothing has "run out"--its all packed in the big truck...really ready to settle...

We are spending all our time searching for a place to live...By night number 4 we consider looking for house farther away from the missions' base but this seems off for God has called us here to be a part of the IHOP ministry and to be far away from it would not make sense.... The eight of us kneel down between the hotel beds and lay it all out before God who has been so very present in this whole time and talk to our loving Father about our needs. One of the children declares that we will have our answer in the morning.

On the 5th morning Richard awakens and goes out of the hotel room to pray. He comes back in the room , eyes bright. "God just told me to not look for houses far away from the missions base. We are to look one more time." (we have looked at newspaper and Craigslist ads many times each day--there's been nothing on there that we have not looked at) He tells us he is going down to the hotel computer and will be right back.

Remember the miracle when Jesus told the tired fishermen who had been fishing all night to lower the nets AGAIN..ONE MORE TIME...and they complain BUT they OBEY?...

We Looower... the nets ....ONE more TIME..not knowing why...just obeying God's word to us...and...

Richard returns only 15 minutes later with a twinkle in his eye and a Craigslist rental listing in his hand. This listing was put up a week ago but did not show the whole time we have been here! And we know this for we have scoured these sites OVER and OVER...

It looks perfect for us--and Richard reports that as it came up on the computer screen he got a holy stomach ache--"butterflies"--and knew in that moment God was handing us our new home--

and like that net bursting full of blessing, our good gift is overflowing with what we not only need but have desired--in fact if we had a wish list for everything we would desire in a smaller home--this one would have it and it is RIGHT in the heart of all of the action of the missions' base... We look at it within 30 minutes and LOVE it--it is cottagy and warm and full of light...it will be PERFECT for hosting college seminary interns or a variety of people who come to IHOP to receive refreshment or to go to a conference...it has a large yard for the kids and we can divide the kids easily into the bedrooms--it is CLEAN and is freshly painted in all the colors of our poccessions in our Budget rental truck...the only catch is that we are to have a phone interview with the owner who only will allow people to live in this house that could be a real asset to the International House of Prayer Ministry. Believing this is us, we have our interview with this incredible missionary who helped to start the missions' base,who helped to get 24/7 intercessory prayer started here, and who is involved in the specific ministry to help make a HUGE dent in human trafficing that Richard's heart has been strongly drawn to...
He says he needs to pray over this for a day...by the end of the day..he calls us back with joy,

"In prayer, God laid your family very strongly on my heart--you are the family for this property--and accepting you is making me so joyful that I'm giddy--I can't stop laughing--this is going to be a wonderful thing..."

the owner of the property then shares with us that there is a prophecy on this home--several times in prayer he and his wife have received word that whoever lives in this rental home on Grandview Road is going to be part of a grand vision of God's work in His Kingdom...and will be an integral part of the missions' base here in Kansas City...its a prayed over, launching pad for missionaries,used only for ministry through the years--we've been drawn into a legacy of service for Jesus here--Praise God for all the road blocks that narrowed the road to this point! ....

We have to wait another half week until we can move in and in this time I am alone with the kids at the hotel while Richard has to go on a business trip. My leg and arm get hotter and more swollen--the living in the car is getting past old...we are told by the hotel staff that morning at breckfast --me alone with all the kiddos-- that the police will be called on our animals and our trucks--and we immediately drive off to find an animal kennel -- the first one we find has availability AND we are greeted at the desk by a joyful vet who loves Jesus and treats us like family--he gives us all the skinny of the area and proclaims the sweetness and goodness of God over us and sends us on our way--this adventure is so surreal--I mean, just walking into a vets office and having God-encounters!!--surely God's hand and favor is ALL over this move even in the midst of the itchy, the hot, the uncomfortable, the frustrating...there's a clear joyful Presence of God dancing all over this!!

We move into our cheerful cottage several days later and have such full,thankful hearts. ..No time to rest...Richard has to go back to work in Nashville--we have two homes to sell and a job to continue on in until God brings work here for Richard or another kind of support as we dive into ministry...and school has started at a missionary school called, The Daniel Academy...but that's another story to be shared...

.We are blown away...the ministry -side of our adventure has truly begun ...and it is SO much bigger than what we even expected--no wonder there has been great struggle to arrive here--this is huge stuff Kingdom-wise --for EACH of the members of our family....but we will continue that part of the story in the next post...

Blessings to you all!!

Love, Gillian

Love Stitches...

2010-10-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

Ava Aday Getting Ready for the Holidays in Her "Christmas Cheer" Peasant-Style Long-Sleeve Dress

Introductory Price of $22.O0

Bows and Bloomie-Aday Pants Custom-made in a variety of Fabrics and Ribbon Trim

Classic Bloomers are in White and in Gingham-- Blue, Red, Green, and Yellow

Introductory pricing of $3.50 per bow and $8.00 per Bloomie-Aday pant

Imagination Time in our Cottage Kitchen

Precious Jumper-Style Dress on Ava Aday

Introductory Sale Price of $22.00

We are LOVING our new home in Kansas City,MO~ We have moved in time for the kids to get established in a missions-oriented school and we are finding such joy in new ministry at the Missions Base of International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO ~~ only one BIG hole in all of this~~ Richard has remained back in Nashville for a short season to get all of our details in order--selling our home etc...How we miss him!! My mother, Karin G. and I have recently developed a cottage fashion business, called Daisy Aday :), to enable our finances to flow a bit faster to reunite our family and to support our new ministry here. All the ladies in our family will be offering home-spun or stitched fashion items, accessories,and clothing. :) I've been crocheting, Ashley's been making teen/ladies clothing, and my mother, Karin G., has made all sorts of little girls' dresses in several styles 2t to 12. We'll display many of the items soon this week so check back in with us! Dresses will be $22.00 and most accessories in the 10-20 dollar range--I know you'll love all of these "pretties" !! ...and JUST in time for Christmas shopping too!! Love to you all today!! :) Blessings!!

Love, Gillian :)

P.S. Pre-orders being taken in the blog comments section below and purchased on our Pay Pal here on the blog. Any questions taken in the comments section or at tuckergillian@gmail.com

" 'An He Came to Me"

2010-09-17T07:10:00.000-07:00

WHY PRAY?

A true story from our week...

Yesterday we were driving to soccer practice for our two six year old "twins", Jack and Bruik when 4 year old Ava told us this...

"Mommy, it was dark last night and I was crying in my room."

You were crying? Oh, Ava I'm sorry. Why didn't you come and get me?

"I did somethin else Mommy. I got outa my bed and I got on my knees on the floor and I cried out to God.
An I got back in bed.
An I was still crying.

An Jesus came to my room.

He came to me.
An He said, 'Ava, why are you crying?'

An He had yellow on Him.

An He held my hand and we went into your room to check on you.
An Jesus was very bright."

Praises today to the God who sees us, hears our cries, and who comes to us!!

Psalm 34a

I will extol the Lord at all times;

his praise will always be on my lips.

My soul will boast in the Lord;

let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me;

let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;

he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;

their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;

he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,

and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good;

blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his saints,

for those who fear him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry,

but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Come, my children, listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Whoever of you loves life

and desires to see many good days,

keep your tongue from evil

and your lips from speaking lies.

Turn from evil and do good;

seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous

and his ears are attentive to their cry;

the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,

to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;

he delivers them from all their troubles.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles,

but the Lord delivers him from them all;

he protects all his bones,

not one of them will be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked;

the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

The Lord redeems his servants;

no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Blessings,

Gillian

Justice Loves Babies

2010-09-10T07:34:00.000-07:00

Home: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"
http://www.justicelovesbabies.com/Home.html

This is the next book I am reading to my children. I cried my way through it yesterday in the International House of Prayer bookstore. And I want it in every home that loves Jesus. The text is especially precious to my mama's heart.

My youngest children's mothers made life choices for them that saved not only their physical lives so that they could live and breathe and enjoy life on this Earth--but what I sense SO greatly is that their lives have been saved because Christ has a DESTINY for their lives.

Every life has a destiny

-- an original plan of Jesus for His glory and greatness and the Presence of Himself to shine on the Earth through that life.

Your children have a destiny

So do you.

I have been in awe of this thought lately.

It strikes me as I look in each of my six children's eyes, as I stroke their hair, as I hear their heart - felt prayers. It has always impacted my prayers for all my children as well.

Ava is my example of late, however. Her back story is here in the sidebar --read it if you have not before--but she was picked up from the dust of a street of Addis Ababa when she was just 9 months old. A noisy, precious, screaming baby, who the nannies named, Rakeb, "One who cries loudly." :)

More and more I see this physical saving act and our later adoption as only a shadow of a much greater purpose of the salvation of Jesus to not only come on her life but to flow out of it and to bring a multitude to Jesus through her precious life.

This has been prayed over her and God keeps pressing this on our hearts. Ava's still REALLY loud--there is constant language flowing out of this precious little girl. But what is also there is so glorious--a heart for her savior, Jesus--burning love and worship--all day!! Ava is a little songbird who God is POURING worship songs out of --we have been keeping the tape recorder close by.

And she is a worshiper.

Just the other day she was talking in her room and when she came out she said, "I've been talking to Jesus, Mommy and He told me that He is making a house for me!" She also makes up songs about biblical images that we have never taught her--this is the Holy Spirit's life just flowing through her--it is amazing.

She was singing yesterday about how the trees are "gonna clap their hands to you, Jesus, when you come back to get me an you just love the boys and the girls of the nations--cause the nations belong to you, Jesus"

This child.

She HEARS the voice of God.

We are told this will happen more and more before the return of Jesus--look in Joel 2--it is an exciting passage that says that before Jesus returns He is going to pour out His Spirit on all flesh and that we will experience dreams, encounters with Him, visions--this is not just something for those Eastern countries--those mysterious stories from "those far away places" we hear from across the world--God's voice is breaking in now. He is coming on those who worship Him with incredible Word and in power.

This little girl

who lay in the dust screaming,

now singing and proclaiming the goodness and power of the only Savior of the world.

Oh, my...

Oh, how amazing...

mysterious...

how

GOOD

our God is!!

I want to make sure to saturate myself in His Presence so that I too might enjoy Him and hear Him as my sweet Ava does.

The images in the video are reprsentative of some of our life here revolving around Jesus at a missions' base in Kansas City,Mo. The room with all the international flags is a 24 hour/7 days a week prayer room for intercession and worship.

My older children spend 4 hours a week enjoying the Lord there and the littles and I go in for shorter periods of time to worship and listen to the Lord and to dig into the Bible. Then they share their little pictures with me--"This is when God told me He likes to play tennis with me...this is God and this is me--God is giving me a hug...this is a shield--God is my sheild when the enemy speaks lies about things that are not true or good."...

The images of children in the video below praying are worshiping at our new school, The Daniel Academy, in the prayer room, and in the children's sunday school classroom. It's a little bit of Tucker show and Tell! :)

I am absolutely blown away with the POWER of children's prayers. Last week I was in a room full of about 50 children Kindergarten to 5th grade. This little girl, about 5 years old, --wiggly little girl--,having a hard time keeping still, with a lisp, got on her tiptoes to pray into a microphone in her teacher's hand. As she prayed, this little song came out, "Jesus, I love you, You really looooove us, Jesus." tiny little thing--shaky little voice--and I was literally about knocked off my feet with God's Presence that entered the room at the sound of her sweet voice--SO powerful!!

When these children pray you can feel the WEIGHT of God's Presence-- Place a child intentionally in the Presence of God and they will respond so naturally to Him--Give a child the weightier matters of Life to pray over-- and God will love to respond to their precious prayers...

A note from the author of Justice Loves Babies:

Justice Loves Babies is a precious children's story that emphasizes the worth of life and the impact of prayer. In this picture book the main character "Justice" refers to the child in his mother's womb "Destiny" as a living person. Justice eagerly waits for the birth of his sister Destiny and wants to help his father, who is a Doctor bring Destiny to life outside of the womb.

Justice is a little boy who loves babies. He is eagerly waiting for the birth of his sister, Destiny. He wants to be the first to hold her. Justice talks to Destiny every day in her mother's womb and prays that she would live and be strong.

Soon his father, who is a doctor, will help his mother bring Destiny into the world. But one night Justice has a dream about other babies who were not allowed to be born. "Not all babies get the chance to live like Destiny does," his mother tells him. "Never stop praying for the babies."

This story emphasizes the worth of life and the impact of prayer. Justice Loves Babies will change the way children treasure life by helping them understand that a life begins in the mother's womb. Like Justice, they can pray for Destinies to be born everywhere.

Help us spread this message of life!

- Darlene & Danielle Wibeto

Cross -Training

2010-09-01T15:31:00.001-07:00

Watch videos at Vodpod and more of my videos

Hey, everyone!
This is an awesome teaching--a GIFT to you today!! :) Just drag the timer on the vod pod, after you hit play arrow, to 1:09 to the teaching part--this is from Hebrews 11 and 12 if you have your Bible nearby...or enjoy the worship too at the beginning :)...

This teaching is WELL worth the time it takes to hear it!!

Also WELL worth the effort it takes to work it into your walk--or should I say, "run race" in Jesus

May we grow in endurance as we face the race set before us.

Blessings--such blessings in Him!!

Love, Gillian